Forgiveness is a huge topic – one that arises time and time again for me and of course a frequent topic of discussion with coaching clients. The most powerful book I have read on the topic is Forgiveness by Jerald Jompolsky, and this I read years ago. One statement in the book has helped my on my own forgiveness journey : Forgiveness does not imply that you agree with the actions taken by another person. Whew!
I do think that many people don’t forgive because they believe they are condoning the actions of others. I have seen it in myself. Then this week I read the following in Heartmath by Childre and Martin:
…it’s not a question of whether someone deserves to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving your transgressor for his or her sake; you’re doing it for yourself.
Forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option you face, and the only one that will foster health and well-being.
It frees you up from the toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let villains live rent-free in your head.
If they’ve hurt you in the past, why let them keep hurting you …
The part I really love in this quote is: Don’t let villains live rent-free in your head. Dah! OMG they take up so much space and mixed in with the mish mash of other things that take up equal amounts of space, I wonder that I can even function some days. Enough!
This summer and now into fall I have been in a deeply reflective state. I want to understand how to release the annoying habits I have over thinking things, which tends to lead to worry by the way. I am releasing them as they no longer serve me and it is a process. I wish it were a light switch – ON – OFF. Wouldn’t that be so easy!
Heartmath as described in the Heartmath Solution, is one of the tools I am using. I find this a fascinating area of study and learning, literally the search to understand to live by one’s heart intelligence and bring this into coherence with the head. I do see it as a solution for me – I encourage you to check it out as well.
As with anything, forgiveness and changing my long entrenched habits takes time – ah that – PATIENCE. And then there is forgiving yourself for all the mistakes you have made over a life time. Now that one is getting easier for I have learned that regrets serve no purpose (and I hear people expressing regret all the time, the great if only…) Here’s how I approach regret. I simple say, what if everything is absolutely perfect, what if everything happened for a reason, as part of the Divine Plan? This forces me to recognize that I could not be the ME I am today without all that has preceded this moment. I am a product of my life experience and I kind of like where I have landed.
What about you? Is there some real estate in your head that is being hoarded by a villain or possibly even your past mistakes? What would it take to release it? Care to join me on the journey?
Come have a visit with me – check out this interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrTCOja8hCw
Until Next Time…
Betty