Tag: self-esteem

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Finding Inspiration

Finding inspiration can, at times be challenging. It may require that you pause and look a little more deeply into a situation. When identified, that which inspires you is worth it. It lifts you up and in the true definition of what inspiration means, gives you breath.

This has been a week of inspiration for me. I took time yesterday from my work schedule to watch the Inauguration of President Barak Obama as he begins his second term in office. Yes, he is an inspirational presence in world leadership. More than that, the circumstances inspire me.

I am old enough to remember that time 50 years ago when thousands gathered for the march on Washington, and I remember with great clarity Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream speech.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

As Barak Obama delivered his inaugural address on Martin Luther King Day, what inspired me was the legacy Dr. King created with his dream. Like any intention, he set change in motion, without understanding how it would happen or what it would take, he shared his desires with the world. The power of intention is amazing. Would Dr. King have imagined that his words would open up the possibility for a black man to become president in such a short time?

In 2008 Jim and I visited Washington for the first time. We walked up the stairs of the capital building and looked down the mall to the Monument. The view is breathtaking. When I looked down at my feet, I saw immediately in front of me a stone with the following inscription: I HAVE A DREAM – Martin Luther King, the March on Washington for jobs and freedom, August 28, 1963. This was the spot from where the speech had been delivered.

I Have a dream

 

History can inspire us; we simply need to focus on the right things. It is easy to get lost in a sea of negativity and all that is wrong with our world. And when we give this view our focus, we also energize it.

By contrast, there are many events each day from which we can derive inspiration. In fact, if we were to pay close attention, we would find many more good deeds than negative ones. Again, when we bring our attention to the good deeds, we energize them.

I once heard it said that the nightly news, which as you know is riddled with all the drama in the world, the bad and the ugly, represents less than 1% of what is actually happening in the world, the unreported events of everyday. These are typically buried as they provoke love and appreciation rather than fear.

Our world is out of balance. Despite this, you and I get to choose, to be inspired or simply tired.

Make a choice for your highest good – choose to breathe. Find people who inspire you and forge relationships with them. Notice that everyday miracles that are unfolding around you and breathe them in. Limit your exposure to CNN – Constantly Negative News.

When you nourish your spirit with the inspirational people and events that are happening, you become inspiring, and isn’t that what we really want?

Until Next time…

 

Betty

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The Invitation

I am standing at our roadSIGNS Booth at the Ottawa Health and Wellness Expo Friday evening, setting up and in anticipation of the next day. The setting up process is exciting and intentional as I imagine the conversations that will take place the next day and the amazing energy we will attract.

I stop for a moment to chat with the vendor next to us representing a nutrition company that I am also a part of, that is, I use their products. I mention this to her and she immediately backs away from me and with a glaring look asks, “Are you a competitor?”

What is it I hear in her voice? Certainly not a tone that I appreciate and so I looked at her and asked her, “Why would you say such a thing to me. There is no such thing as competition, at least not in my view. Competition is a choice, one you can make and how about we simply agree to collaborate?”

She stumbled over her words at that point. I recognize that I was pretty straight forward with her but I just could not stop myself. This is the old thinking pattern, the old masculine way, compete and conquer. She muttered, “Well one of the vendors over there (pointing across the room) said that to me earlier.”

I put my arm around her shoulder and said, “You get to choose who you want to be and how you present yourself to others. Be a collaborator – that will take you a lot further.”

I feel like the game is up and that we need to hold ourselves to a more evolved way of being and thinking. That means being consciously aware of what we are communicating to ourselves and others. The world will not change unless we change, each of us.

And this is my invitation to you.

Begin today to become consciously aware of the conversation going on inside your head. Are you lifting yourself up or putting yourself down?

When you are in conversation with others, are you listening, more importantly are you hearing them?

What about the words that you choose – words are the vehicles of your thoughts, they reflect the inner dialogue. Words matter. It may be time for all of us to put our brains in gear before our mouths are in action. Better still,  maybe we need to engage our hearts more and speak from there and give our heads a break.

Be a messenger

Let’s all take pause and become more conscious communicators, with ourselves first and with others next. Begin listening in on your inner dialogue and noticing what you are saying to YOU. The turn outward and observe how you are communicating with others and what you are saying. Be clear about what you want to attract and choose your words accordingly.

 

Until next time…

Betty

 

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The Seven Habits of Highly Happy People

I have to thank Bob Carscadden for setting this one up as he spoke about this at last week’s Your Stage. It just got me thinking…

The Seven Habits of Highly Happy People:

  1. BE Happy! Too many people chase happiness or believe it is outside of themselves. It isn’t – it is simply a belief that you hold.
  2. Be Intentional – know what it is that you want and stake claim to it. Ask for it. Watch for it. Set yourself up for success and when it arrives celebrate!
  3. Build an attractive community around you. Be clear on the relationships you want in your life and release the ones that no longer lift you up.
  4. Believe in yourself. Be aware of your inner conversations and whether you are pumping yourself up or putting yourself down. Manage your critic’s voice and flip him/her into your coach’s voice.
  5. Approach life with a glass full attitude – be an optimist. See the everyday miracles around you and express gratitude for all that is right in your life.
  6. Perform Random Acts of Kindness. Notice how a simple act light people up – whether this is a smile, opening a door, helping someone cross an icy street. Notice how their response lights you up as well.
  7. Develop your NO-How. Have a clear sense of what perfect for you and what is not. Remember, you are not saying NO to others, you are saying YES to YOU!

Happy Thoughts

Now – Smile, stand tall, take a deep breath, insert happiness file into your computer, move forward.

Have a great day!

 

Betty

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Conscious Communication

ConsciousCommunicationIt’s a new year!

I love this time of the year, a blank slate beckoning me. I grow excited with all the possibilities that are ahead of me. And so, I am taking this opportunity to share with you our new program Conscious Communication.

What is it? Conscious communication is an invitation to become more mindful in all aspects of your life, to forge a deeper connection with yourself and those important others around you.

It begins with your relationship with yourself, becoming consciously aware of your inner dialogue and asking yourself whether your conversations with self are spirit depleting or spirit lifting.

Next, the conversation turns to your relationship with others and assessing how present, aware and available t you are.

I am convinced that Conscious Communication is an important step for each of you to engage in this year as a means of knowing yourself and living from your strengths and as a way of forging meaningful relationships with others in both your personal and professional life.

Conscious Communication is built on a program called LUMINA LEARNING SYSTEMS, an amazing series of psychometric tools which allow you to know yourself ans see yourself through the lens of ‘the best of who your are’.

Lumina LogoFollow us in the upcoming days to learn more!

Until then…

Betty

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Create Your New Story

With the approach of 12-21-12 I am feeling a heightened sense of awareness. My nighst have been orchestrated by a dreamscape that has had me travelling around the world. It has been chaotic and occasionally energy depleting.

I cannot seem to make sense of it all either although one dream stuck. I am driving down a very narrow road, a steep rock face off to the right. There are road crews all around, apparently working at widening the road. I can see areas where the rock face is pulling apart, about to give way. As I look closer to examine the surface, the rock face turns into a series of tombstones.

When I awake the dream seems more of a vision and I am left wondering what it meant, what’s the metaphor. I shared the dream with Jim and then my coach Patty, exploring the imagery. Here is what emerged: the tombstones represent all the Old Stories I have travelled with in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.

In my work I have come to understand that Old Stories are frequently riddled with limiting beliefs, the voices of my inner critics, assumptions and judgments, and so much more – a complex web of stuff that simply no longer serves me. And so as I approach the New Age, a time when I pray we find peace on earth, I am tasked with making peace within. And who among us is not travelling the same path?

This is not news to me. The vision simply emphasizes that now, more than ever, a sift within me is important. I want to enter the portal of 12-21-12 with a clean slate, dismantling the clutter of many lifetimes, releasing the stories that no longer serve me and giving myself space to receive all that is in my highest good.

Here is my plan:

1)      Although I have done this many times, I plan to record the contents of my Old Stories and burn them. Ashes to Ashes….

2)      A deep meditation, filling the open space with breath, possibilities, peace, joy and prosperity

3)      A card spread, probably using OSHO Cards, guided by an intentional question to be defined

4)      Integration – a wee bit of journaling

5)      Celebration – a little dancing, chanting, singing, yelping… you get the picture

Here is one big intention for me in the New Year, to lighten up, and live from my heart more. This is my journey and my work at the moment.

My wish for you: Wonder about your Old Stories and begin to create your New Story. Remember that you do create your life – it begins with being clear about what you want. De-clutter – take a look at anything that gets in your way and find a way to send it off with the wind. Be your own best friend and guide.

first Love Yourself

Until next time…

Betty

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Resilience

It’s that time of year when expectations seem to mount. The Holiday Season is quickly approaching, family members are voicing their expectations of you, there’s a big sale at Sears you want to take advantage of and you just found out you have three Christmas parties booked the same evening. Match all these ‘extra’ demands with the demands of an already busy life and you may feel like you are out of breath.

So what do you do, how can you keep your sanity with all the additional demands this season seems to impose. It is meant to be a time of celebration and joy and yet as you look around you, you’re not sure there is a whole lot of that going around! Time to shift gears.

A Resilience Check-In
Here’s an opportunity to take your pulse and assess just how you are doing. You can do so by measuring your resilience, your ability to bounce back in response to added responsibility or adversity and not become overwhelmed. Take a look at the following statements and give yourself a score from 1, I strongly disagree to 5, I strongly agree.

I remind   myself every day of the things I have accomplished. 1 2 3 4 5
I am able   to take things in stride and remain calm in most circumstances. 1 2 3 4 5
I have the   ability to handle a number of different things at the same time. 1 2 3 4 5
I have a   strong sense of what my priorities are and put these first. 1 2 3 4 5
I know   when to say ‘NO’ and stick to my guns, even when others may not like my   answer. 1 2 3 4 5
I am able   to laugh at myself and circumstances when things don’t go as planned. 1 2 3 4 5
I have a   strong sense of my core values and purpose, engaging these to guide me   through each day. 1 2 3 4 5
I am   resourceful and can find my way out of most difficult situations. 1 2 3 4 5

Add up your score – you will have a range for 8 to 40. While this is not a scientifically valid questionnaire, you can use your score to understand the degree to which you are handling the demands of your life. A score close to 8 suggests you are approaching overwhelm, perhaps feeling frantic, fatigued or even postponing the things that need to be done. A score close to 40 suggests you are dealing with the day to day easily and effortlessly and coasting into the holiday season. Most of us will most likely score mid-range.

This is not a diagnostic, just a notice, and as you notice where you fall, let me offer you some strategies for managing the approaching holiday season in a way that will assure you that Joy and Celebration care the main theme.

Holiday ‘Sanity’ Tips:

  1. At the end of the day, bring your attention to all the things you accomplished during the day. You may notice that your habit is the opposite, focusing on what you did not get done. Stop that!
  2. Give yourself time during the day to come up for air – that may mean sitting at your desk and taking a few deep breaths, closing your eyes for a short meditation or going for a 10 minute walk.
  3. Be planful. Look at your days and make sure you identify your priorities. These are your big rocks. Once these are achieved, other things fall easily into place.
  4. When you are faced with decisions regarding your time and various commitments during the holiday season and the upcoming weeks, let your intuition guide you. Say NO to what does not serve you. This will make your YES’s much more powerful.
  5.  Learn to laugh at yourself over the innocent mistakes. Little damage is done in most cases and laughing goes a long way to disperse any negative energy.
  6. Take some time to identify your core values. Your values are the guiding principles by which you choose to live. They help you to say NO and to choose the direction in which you want to move.
  7. Simplify – attend fewer events and buy fewer gifts. Focus on the meaning of the season.
Know your NO’s

The holiday season can be challenging or easy – the choice is really yours. Make this your best holiday season ever by making perfect choices for you. Pass this gift along to others.

Until next time,

Betty

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Failure is NOT an Option!

None of us wants to admit that we have failed at something and yet, in my view, failure is not an option. It will happen at some point in your life. So perhaps the issue is not whether you fail or not but how you deal with failure when it happens.

Let me propose an alternate thesis to what you can do when you fail versus what you most likely have been doing. Most of you will travel the path of self-recrimination coupled with ample doses of self-criticism. The option – treat failure as a time of celebration.

Before you throw something at me, let me explain the process. Take a moment and turn back the clock of time. Remember the many great lessons you have learned from life. As you do a quick life review, recall the two or three greatest lessons you have learned from your life experience to date. Ask yourself this: ” Did I learn this from a great success or from a significant failure?”

My guess is, that if you are really honest with yourself, failure will be the word that comes up. Here are some of my examples:

–      That time in university where partying and play overtook my desire to study and I almost failed my year. I had never faced the possibility of failure before –it shook me to the core when that ’D’ appeared on my transcript. Suddenly I had a new-found respect for the need to study and my desire to complete my degree.

–      Or that time not so long ago when I accepted a full-time job even when my intuition was telling me not to go there. My intuition was right – the job was not a perfect fit. Giving it up after 9 months felt like failure (I don’t give up!) and I learned some very valuable lessons. I remembered why I had started my own business and that I did not want to work for anyone else any more. I gained some extraordinary business wisdom which I have since applied to my own organization.

–      Or that time where Jim and I drifted too far apart in our relationship and almost lost our way. This may have been my strongest sense of failure ever. I really believe is us and our marriage. Facing this failure down taught me everything I needed to know about re-building our relationship to where we are today.

There have also been numerous business failures – poor investments of money and time, bad decisions regarding training approaches – the list go on.

Failure makes us human. More importantly, other than offering us life’s most important lessons, it also offers contrast.

In ME FIRST vocabulary contrast is what you need to have so you can decide what you really want. Failure represents what it is you don’t want to repeat or to attract on a regular basis. With the experience of failure you can turn things around and define what it is you want to fill your life with. I enjoy looking at my own life through the lens of, “Well that was less than perfect’ and then imagining what it is I would rather have.

Failure is just like that – it shows you what you don’t want. Here’s the good news – you get to choose again!.

That said are you ready now to bless your failures? Okay, maybe that is going too far so let me suggest a slight modification. Here is it: Everything you have experienced in life is perfect.

Still a stretch?

I’ll explain – you are the sum total of all of your life experiences. You are the person you are today because of what you have experienced which includes both successes and failures. If you agree that life’s’ great lessons stem from your failures, then they are perfect events in your life. They taught you what you needed to know. There no longer is any need to feel guilt or remorse over something that happened in the past. Simply chalk it up to experience and be grateful it happened.

Here’s the deal. If you want to learn and grow and expand and reach for more, failure is NOT an option. If you can learn to bless the failures, see them as lessons and laugh at yourself a little more, you are going to be far healthier and happier. The thing is, you get to choose how you respond. Choose well for YOU!

Until next time,

Betty

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Invite in the WIND!

Just as the wind from Sandy blew into our region last evening, catapulting me forward as I drove down the 401, new opportunities have been blowing into my life and business. It is a great time in life, especially when you are open to what is possible rather than planning all the details. Of course I set the scene when Jim and I sat down mid-September and created our Strategic Attraction Plan (SAP) for the upcoming year.

Strategic Attraction
For years clients and colleagues have asked me about running a business and what makes a business successful. I simply say, Strategic Attraction Planning. I know you have all heard of a Strategic Plan, something that is considered an essential ingredient for any successful business. A secret, I’ve never had one ! What I have instead is my SAP. So what’s the difference? Strategic Attraction as the name suggests, is about engaging the Law of Attraction strategically in your business. It has four sections to it:

  1. The qualities and characteristics of your perfect customer/client
  2. What makes you, as  a business person/entrepreneur ‘tick’ – why you do what you do
  3. What you want – we call this clarity, setting your business intentions
  4. Who do you BE –  understanding that everything you want from life begins within you and your energy

That’s different than a regular Strategic Plan!

Intentions and Goals
Intentions and goals are frequently confused. A simple explanation is that an intention is open-ended. It states what you want yet is not fixed on a specific outcome. Example: I am attracting my perfect healthy body. Notice that you have not specified how this will happen or what you specifically mean by that. You are leaving the solution open-ended and as a result, give yourself permission to attract something you may not have considered otherwise.

Goals on the other hand specify an outcome. For example: I plan to lose 10 pounds, begin the new diet and go to the gym 3 nights a week. You have already decided on the solutions and fix your attention to the scales, what you eat and working out. Boring !

In business I have found that intentionality is far more powerful than goals. That’s not to say I don’t have any goals as most of the projects I work on have deadlines and deliverables. At the same time my intentions have opened up possibilities for me I never would have considered. You have to love that.

Who You BE
We all have a slightly skewed view of who we are. I have long been a believer of taking every opportunity to learn more about ME and to understand my strengths and what makes m unique. Knowing these things about yourself helps you to engage those strengths and focus on what you do well. Too often you do the opposite – you focus on improving your weaknesses. Trust me this does not work. Whatever you focus on grows! Don’t you want to grow your strengths?

So where do you start; what can you do. One of the tools I love, and which recently blew into our lives is a learning system called Lumina. It offers you the opportunity to complete a self-assessment questionnaire which then generates a Spark Portrait which is all about you. You learn about the four colour energies and how you play in them, the eight aspects and twenty-four qualities of personality and, most importantly, your strengths. Of course the added benefit is that, the more you learn about you, the more you learn about others.

Invite in the WIND
For me the WIND signifies Welcoming In New Discovery. Investing in yourself, is an investment in your life, your work and if you are like me, your business. With the wind comes new air to breathe, new knowledge of self and of course new life opportunities.

I invite you to stand outside, open your arms, feel yourself fly in the WIND, and imagine where your journey is headed. Who knows where you might land next?

Upcoming opportunities

Celebrate Your Strengths – Lumina Spark on November 13th,  Cornwall, Ontario and Strategic Attraction Planning on December 1st, 2012, Tigh Shee Retreat Center. To find out more contact Betty at betty@roadSIGNS.ca or go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/programs/upcoming-events.html.

If you are interested in completing your Lumina Spark Portrait contact betty@roadSIGNS.ca.

Until Next time;

Betty

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What I Know for Sure

As a subscriber to ‘O’ Magazine, I generally turn to the last page of the magazine first to read Oprah’s ‘What I Know for Sure’ column. An interesting column, it usually leaves me wondering what I know for sure – in fact this came up in the recent ME FIRST retreat and I challenged everyone to take the time to write down their list. Of course this requires that I do the assignment as well. Last week, while sitting at my favourite table at The Grind Cafe in Cornwall, I put pen to paper and this is the result:

What I know for sure:

  • that love trumps fear and all other negative emotions.
  • that when I live from my heart and trust my intuition I make better decisions
  • that no matter how it is cooked, I still hate liver (okay some liver pate is palatable!)
  • that paying it forward is better than paying it back, and expands the energy of good will
  • that making peace with my body, warts and all, has a huge impact on my self-esteem
  • that intentions have a much bigger impact on my life than simply setting goals and objectives
  • that I look and feel better in red than pink, in turquoise vs. navy, purple vs mauve and emerald green vs olive
  • that answers do not reside within books, they live inside me
  • that I waited too long to go sky diving for the first time
  • that getting lost in a creative project, whether that is writing, vision boarding or doodling in my ME FIRST Playbook, shifts my energy to a magical place
  • that when I share the load, and remember I am not responsible for everything, my life and my heath is a heck of a lot better
  • that sun rises and sunsets, rainbows and full moons lift me up as nothing else can
  • that I love my work and that work is very different from a J.O.B.
  • that the moment I began to mine my own diamond, see myself for who I really am,  is the moment I finally began to live
  • that my self-critic is sadly out of date and I really prefer the tune my self-coach is humming
  • that I get to choose my life
  • that when I take care of ME FIRST, everyone around me benefits as well.

That’s my list for now and I invite YOU to record yours and share your ‘what I know for sure’ here in this forum.

Until next time…

Betty

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I Love My Work

Just coming off a ME FIRST Retreat and feeling the great sense of satisfaction that I derive from facilitating these events. On this occasion Jim and I also had friends, Carol and Wayne present as they prepare to eventually facilitate their own ME FIRST events. This is an intention come true for us – only weeks ago we completed our Strategic Attraction Plan for the upcoming year. Part of our intentionality is attracting perfect partners for collaboration and perfect ME FIRST facilitators. The plan is working.

Despite my experience with setting intentions, I am always surprised when what I ask for shows up. I love it and Jim and I have this little ditty we chant when the SIGNS appear that simply goes ‘it’s working!’

We have learned that to set intentions is one thing and paying attention and seeing the SIGNS another. Certainly paying attention is equally important as what would the point be in setting intentions if you don’t actually follow them. Of course there is the third phase of ‘No Tension’ – gotta love this step. It happens when what you have asked for shows up in a form that surprises you and you look at it and mutter, “I don’t think so!” Guess what – that’s the wrong response.

This is where I have forced myself to be curious and darn if the Universe doesn’t know better than I do what is in my highest good. I just don’t always like it and yet, in the end it is always perfect. I think that perhaps there is a great cosmic joke in there somewhere.

We are vibrational energy

 

In this weekend’s retreat I believe we did some of our best work in teaching ME FIRST, especially that part that says that everything you want to change or shift outside yourself begins with ME FIRST. This part of the retreat program allows each participant to see the effects that their inner dialogue has, the choice of living with one’s inner critic versus one’s inner coach.

Consider this – you do not have to say anything or do anything, all you need to do is be the vibration you wish to be. Remember Gandhi’s quote, ‘Be the change you wish to see’. Note the emphasis on ‘BE’.

Imagine for yourself walking into any situation you have to face and simply being love, peace, joy at the core of your being. Through a variety of techniques we are able to demonstrate to ME FIRST Participants the impact this has on your environment and those around you. You can’t see it – you experience it. It is a vibrational energy that emits from the core of who you are and it is powerful.

Oh, I do go on – it just gives me chills to remember the effect this has when we teach this part of the program. And it is why I love my work.

 Good old Dr. Suess – who knew that he taught ME FIRST principles. So much of what we are teaching is that you get to choose your life. So few people realize this it seems. Once you appreciate that your life is a sum of the choices you have made, and that you can change the course of your life with different choices, you settle into a position of personal power. Oh, and by the way, this is something I have to remind myself of everyday – the choice is mine.

Enough rambling for now. Looking forward to the next ME FIRST Retreat in Ottawa which will be co-facilitated by Wayne and Carol. I am handing over the reigns (and that may take discipline on my part!).

To all of you, you get to choose your thoughts, words and feelings – choose well!

 

Until next time…

Betty