Surrender is not necessarily one of my favorite words. Despite this it keeps coming up in conversation and is evidently a SIGN. I think my resistance to the word is that old visual from cowboy or war movies where surrendering involves sticking your hands high into the air and offering yourself up to another person, potentially the enemy.
Okay, I know this is not what it really means and that to surrender does not mean giving up or giving in. Nor does surrender imply weakness or loss. According to the dictionary to surrender means to relinquish control, and detach from results. Darn – there’s that control thing again.
I turned back to one of my favorite all time books, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, seeking some solace and clarity on this subject. She suggests that surrender is powerful nonresistance, being open and receptive to allowing our lives to be guided by a higher power. In this state of nonresistance you allow ‘spirit to infuse your life and to offer you meaning and direction’.
I have to say that I am all for that. It simply gets confusing when I try to figure everything out for myself not to mention that I also step back into being a control freak. When you stop trying to control all the events in your life, you notice that things fall into place anyway and that there is a natural order to them.
So how do you surrender? Now that is the $20,000,000 question. Even as I say to myself all I have to do is surrender I feel the trepidation and wonder how do you so this. I can only share what I am learning at the moment and to suggest to you, that although surrender seems unfamiliar and uncomfortable, I suspect we are all in this boat together. It is a new experience.
Re-Connect with your Heart
The starting point for me is to forge a new relationship with my heart. This begins by putting aside 10 to 15 minutes of quiet ME FIRST time, sitting or lying comfortably, away from all distractions. Place your hand on your heart and feel it beating under your hand.
With each breath in imagine that your heart is expanding. Infuse your heart with love on each in-breath and on the out-breath imagine this love extending you your entire self. As you continue, notice any stress in your body, and then release it on each out-breath.
Consider an issue which has been troublesome for you and perhaps what actions you have been taking to control it. On the next out breath release these actions and ask your heart the question, “what would be in my highest good?” Don’t expect an immediate answer; simply rest with the question for a few moments, then ask again, “what would be in my highest good?”
Your heart is the seat of amazing wisdom and knowledge. Unfortunately it is overruled by your head and buried under worry, anxiety, frustration and impatience. Impatience by the way is the highest form of resistance, like pushing at something. When you push there is an equal and opposite force in return.
As you continue your heart ‘meditation’, imagine yourself floating in a sea of light. The water sparkles, infused with hues of purple, turquoise and yellow. These colours dance around you. You feel all the resistance you have been experiencing begin to float away and as you drift, your heart opens even further. You begin to appreciate that all you need to know is there, you need only to relax and allow it to come to you.
Back to Reality
I hear you, REALLY! Can this possibly work? YES! And it takes time. As with any new habit it must be practiced. I wish there were a simple switch you could turn on and off, to step from control freak into control free and to experience complete surrender. Wouldn’t that be blissful.
The thing is, and you know this as well as I do, you are simply getting in your own way when it comes to moving forward in life. Everything you want is waiting for you. Your work is to conceive it (ask for what you want), believe it (imagine that what you want is already a reality) and receive it (get out-of-the-way and allow it).
Here’s the challenge: changing any habit takes 21 days. My invitation to you is to take the time each day for the next 3 weeks to re-connect with your heart. Follow the instructions I have offered and see what happens. You never know, new doors may open and something you never expected may arrive on your doorstep!
Until next time,
Betty