Every two weeks Jim and I are leading a Coaching Circle. We began this program during the summer as a way of reaching more clients and offering them a coaching experience. It is different from a one-on-one coaching experience as circle participants also hear the stories others share and learn through the shared experience. It has been a miracle in my view, as we see the transformation of the group and each individual member – the shining faces, the energy shift, the realization that none of us are alone and that life is a shared experience.
In our discussions last evening, several members shared that they have recently lost friends, have friends recently diagnosed with serious life threatening illness or are living with illness themself. The notice was that often people don’t start really living until there is a threat of dying. Illness may not be the only trigger, it could be an accident, aging, or a significant life event.Whatever the root cause, it seems to be a common issue for we humans – we need to be awakened.
So I am wondering what it is about the human experience that encourages us to be complacent and to take so much for granted; why we need those wake-up calls to really start living. Certainly most of our circle participants have experienced a wake-up call in one form or another and still we slip back into that complacent place. What can we do to prevent this slip/slide – what is it we can do to stay awake – to live?
We have been introducing our clients to what we call Conscious Communication. Understanding that communication resides at all levels, that is communication with self, your higher power and then others, conscious communication means communication from an awakened state. It implies being alive and present, being intentional and clear, being tuned in to self and others; it means raising the bar significantly on how we have been living with ourself and others for most of our life.
Am I there yet? NO. And it is where I want to be. My fear is that with increasing separation, because of social media and the lack of face to face interactions these days, that we will grow not just complacent but unskilled in the basics of communication never mind conscious communication. So I write this as an invitation to each of you to reach out today to the important others in your life and step away from the computer and into the coffee shop. Create more opportunities for those face to face conversations – they are richer.
Become consciously aware of the conversation you are having with yourself – is your critic’s voice singing loudly in your ear or is your inner coach feeding you these days.
As you sit with another, are you in love or judgment? Turn on the love channel and be clear on how you want to be with others – set intentions for your relationship rather than leaving it up to the great ‘whatever’.
If you are in an intimate relationship, set time aside to really talk. Be compassionate and caring of the other – they are only human. It is easy to take life partners for granted – I know I both live and work with mine 24-7. It is important to ask the great questions and to listen deeply to the answers; to seek to understand the other person before judging or assuming.
All of this in my view is LIVING although there is much more to this conversation.
Again last evening we took time with the group to have them define and claim their core values. From that conscious place, the take away from this activity is to now start being those values and holding yourself to these consciously.
I know there is much more to share and I am curious about your responses and thoughts. Let me know. I leave you with this simple question – Are you living?
Until next time
Betty