What Has Become Clear Archives - Page 4 of 9

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

Three Feet at a Time

I am a Gardener. For some people, that may not seem significant that is unless you look at the size of our gardens. A large amount of summertime energy is dedicated to trimming, planting, weeding, grooming and creating, so much so that we rarely choose to travel in this season. Those who visit our home frequently ask us for the name of our gardeners at which point Jim and I simply share that they are looking at them and no, we don’t want any gardening contracts.

Despite the work involved in this rather large project, the garden is a source of many lessons. The most significant of these lessons is what I call, ‘three feet at a time’. This lesson first appeared in 2002 when Jim and I began construction of the Garden Labyrinth.

A labyrinth, in case you are wondering, is in the ‘maze’ family however, designed to lead you in and out without getting lost. It has been used by different cultures to represent a pilgrimage, for walking meditation and for community building. Our labyrinth is 40 feet in diameter, a gravel path separated by gardens filled with thyme and lavender.

Back to the building process; on day one I walked into the back yard where Jim had marked the pathway in the lawn. As I examined the size and the scope of my work for the week, creating the border garden, I felt myself in a state of overwhelm. A few unmentionable expletives erupted from my lips. Panic set in. Where upon Jim appeared with a yard stick, set it down in front of me and gave me the following instruction, “Place the yard stick down, mark off the first three feet, dig up the grass, till and add fresh soil. Pick up the yard stick, mark off the next three feet, repeat. Do not look up; keep moving forward three feet at a time until you are finished.” Four days later I looked up and realized I had completed my assignment.

Three feet at a time comes up every time we begin a new garden project, this year creating a shady glen at one corner of the property where scrappy grass, weeds, moss and wild violets needed to be cleared first. As I looked at the scope of the project, I reached for the yard stick and marked off the first three feet. It works every time.

I actually use this lesson over and over again in all aspects of life. As someone who tends to see the big picture before the individual parts, I can easily get lost in overwhelm. You may notice yourself in this zone as well. Overwhelm can lead to procrastination, a sense of being stalled or send you off in a tail spin.

The principle of three feet at a time can pull you out of both spinning and stalling every time. The idea of three feet is to break down the whole into chewable chunks, those bits which you know you can take on now and which when added together, lead you to accomplishing the whole. Along the way you get to experience a whole bunch of little successes, points in time where you can derive a sense of satisfaction for accomplishing the first steps of the whole. And this builds your sense of accomplishment and your self-esteem.

Much of my coaching practice is dedicated to helping people break down the overwhelming into chewable chunks. For some people it comes naturally. Not so for others. Here are a few suggestions for applying the three feet at a time principle:

1) Name the project and the outcome you wish to achieve. Visualize it and make it as real as you can.

2) Work backwards and look at what steps you need to accomplish to get there.

3) Take each step and ask yourself what the first three feet are. Repeat until you have a sense of what needs to be completed.

4) Take on the first three feet. Don’t look up – keep repeating until the first chewable chunk is completed.

5) Celebrate and acknowledge yourself for what you have accomplished.

6) Take on the next chewable chunk and repeat the process.

7) Always remember to celebrate each step of the way. This builds you up and fuels the fire to continue.

The Glen - a plce for energizing and reflection — The Glen – a place for energizing and reflection

Final Word

I have been very grateful for the garden lessons I have learned and how they have leaked into other aspects of my life. I enjoy resting my head on the pillow at night and reviewing the day behind me and feeling grateful for each three-foot section I have accomplished. While three feet at a time may seem simplistic, trust me, it is a valid and powerful strategy. Are you ready to tackle your life three feet at a time?

Until next time…

Betty

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

Along the WAY…

On Sunday June 9^th, Jim and I celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary. Marriage is an amazing journey. Along the way, I have learned a few lessons about what makes a marriage grow and ripen. The first was that I entered marriage expecting it to last. Perhaps this was because of the failure of my own parents’ relationship. Before jumping in, I took the time to be clear of my expectations of myself, of Jim and what lay before us.

Were there challenges along the way – of course there were. What forty year journey would be void of a few potholes and speed bumps? As I see it, these are only opportunities to come up for air, check-in and ask, “are we headed in the right direction?”

More often than not individuals within a relationship are headed in different directions which is why the relationship fails. The statistics are clear, one of every two marriages don’t work. There are lots of reasons why they don’t and I have no judgment regarding the ones that fail. I also see that some marriages could be saved. The thing is, a good marriage like anything, takes a little work.

What I have learned along the WAY…

Here are a few on the many lessons I have learned that build a relationship and save a marriage:

Don’t make your partner wrong. Notice how you use ‘yes, but’ in your conversations, how you want to ‘win’ an argument or ‘make’ your point. Yes but makes your partner wrong. There is room for two points of view in every conversation. Try using ‘yes and…’
Appreciate the differences. Research has shown that successful relationships are built around differences. In many cases there is more room for argument when you are too much alike. There is truth to ‘opposites attract’ – allow the differences to round you out rather than finding fault with them and trying to convert the other person to your way.
Build your relationship around shared values. This in my view is the centerpiece for a relationship. Differences can exist easily when values are shared. Take the time to define and share them and then engage them within your relationship, with your children and with important others.
After ME FIRST comes WE FIRST. So many couples we work with have put their relationship on the back burner because of their children or their careers. It doesn’t work because one day you will face a stranger. Build in WE FIRST time weekly, whether this is a cup of coffee together after dinner or a weekly date night.
Be interested in one another, whether that is your hobbies or your work. In that shared WE FIRST time, ask questions of one another and learn what is going on behind the scenes, discuss issues, support one another.
Speak up! If there is an issue in your relationship or if you want something to change or shift, state it. Too frequently individuals don’t speak up, believing that the other person ‘should know’. They don’t. You can’t have what you don’t ask for.
Ask differently. Through the years I learned that saying ‘I want this or that’ didn’t feel right to me as it sounded selfish. So I found other ways of stating my viewpoint or asking. My favorite is, “What would be perfect for me is…” or ‘Would you consider this or that…”.
Don’t hide your anger. It does make you sick. I used to do this as I was taught that is was wrong to show emotion, especially anger. Trust me; it is better expressed at the 8^th hour than the 11^th hour when it is exploding out of you. Take your partner aside and share with him or her what is going on. A good strategy is the ‘I’ message which goes like this, “when you say this, I feel/think this…”
Learn together. Learn about yourself and learn about your relationship. If anything has kept Jim and I going through the years, it is our desire to raise the bar on our relationship, have some fun and find other ways to know one another.
Be your partner’s best friend. Lustful love and the bells and whistles of new love are temporary. Friendship is much more enduring and feeds the love you have for one another. That does not exclude romance however, which is important. Find ways of keeping it in your relationship as well.

Final Word

Remember, marriage is a journey. It will meander. Two partners will diverge and converge along the way. That’s perfect as long as you stay on each other’s radar and keep connecting. Enjoy the ride.

Until next time…

Betty

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

The Beginning is Near

In a coaching session recently with one of my clients, we discussed her future. After retiring three years ago and taking time to consider her options for the rest of her life, she was now prepared to look at what’s next. As with many of my clients, when the conversation begins, there is a lot of spinning, considering the endless possibilities. Clarity can be elusive. This is where coaching comes in, the opportunity to narrow the field and to identify what it is that really ‘lights’ you up.

Following our conversation, my client left for another meeting. I reminded her to watch for the SIGNS. Later that day I received an e-mail from her with the following, “I left your place remembering what you said. When I walked I to my next appointment, I saw this sign, “The Beginning is Near”. Now isn’t that a roadSIGN!”

I loved it. That is how it works. The Universe is always on your side, feeding you information constantly. The question is, are you paying attention.

My client that day was on high alert, swimming in the conversation of what she wants to attract and create in her life. The message The Beginning is Near seemed so appropriate.

SIGN Spotting
SIGNS for me have always represented those Significant Insightful Gold Nuggets informing my Spirit. SIGNS may not be actual signs as my client experienced; they show up in many forms from an interview on the radio, a morning horoscope, a message from a friend, a posting of Facebook, something or someone crossing your path. Life is full of meaning; we are unfortunately, for the most part, oblivious to what is there.

SIGN spotting requires living consciously, getting away from living life on autopilot which most of us do, and becoming more mindful and aware of what is going on around us. This is a challenge in the fast paced world we live is so yes, it does mean slowing down a bit, noticing more, asking more questions, reflection and sometimes, simply breathing.

Look at it this way. Your life and manifesting what it is you want, is the most significant project you will ever take on. As with any project, it needs to be planned. You need to determine what it is that you desire as you look down the road. We call these intentions, naming what you want. Again, as with any project, you require data. This is where SIGNS come in – the angel whispers offered to you by Source, or the Universe, whatever you call you higher power, telling you whether or not you are on the right path, giving you support and encouragement, confirming the path you have chosen, and occasionally challenging you to change directions.

Heavenly Faxes
My friend Larry Snow in Colorado calls his SIGNS heavenly faxes and because Colorado has a lot of personalized license plates, cars are his typical SIGN spotting opportunity. After divorcing his wife of seventeen years, and then through therapy giving himself time to heal, Larry found himself attracted to another woman. He was however, reticent to get involved even though he knew that Margie was special and potentially the one.

As he considered the past, he found himself behind a green mustang with the license plate LET GO. As Larry said, this caused him to chuckle. A few days later as he was considering his next steps with Margie, he pulls up behind a Nebraska car with the plate 1 TO GO 4.

There was no turning back, the SIGNS in his life were definitely feeding him data. The final SIGN happened a few weeks later, when Larry again hesitated. In his words, “As I looked left before merging into the morning rush-hour traffic, I noticed a blue Volvo cresting the hill on South Wadsworth Boulevard — beneath the snowcapped mountain backdrop its green vanity plate stated simply and succinctly: MARGIE.”

Final Word
Whether you call them SIGNS, angel whispers, or heavenly faxes, you have access to more information than you can possibly imagine.

It’s a simple choice: wake up to your life and become aware of what is going on around you. The beginning is near!

Betty Healey

Join us for our next Retreat May 22-23rd^th – ME FIRST, a two day retreat that focuses on Clarity + Action.
You can sign up at http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/me-first-retreat/.

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

It’s the Journey not the Destination

Last Wednesday I attended a networking event in Montreal. As I venture out to new networking events I carry two burning questions: will I meet someone and make a heartfelt connection and will I walk away with some new learning or piece of information. Like anything else in life, I believe that networking needs to be intentional.

I was not disappointed. The guest speaker was Bhaskar Goswami of Bodhi Yoga Center in Montreal ( www.bodhiprinciple.com) who delivered an entertaining speech on a trek he and three cousins completed in the Himalayas. It was not particularly new information to me just a simple reminder of things I know but fail to practice consistently.

As Bhaskar shared his experience I was reminded that I have a tendency, when beginning any journey, to focus on where I am going, the destination. In doing so I often forget about the experience, that is the journey itself.

While this focus serves my need for being purposeful, it is a bit like wearing blinders, prohibiting me from checking my peripheral vision and actually experiencing what is going on in the moment. And so, if you are like me, I suggest that we all pause to smell the roses and to begin being more present with our journey, whether that is simply life, a big project we are managing or an actual trek up a mountainside.

“Perhaps the turtle knows the road better than the hare.”

Take the First Step

Have you ever noticed that when you focus on the destination, the entire picture, that you get a wee bit overwhelmed. Eleven years ago I learned a vital lesson in living the journey when Jim and I built our garden labyrinth. On the morning of June 2^nd I stepped into the back yard to survey the project we were about to begin. Three weeks earlier Jim had cut the design for the labyrinth out of the grass. It was 40 feet in diameter and while I understood it was going to be no small feat, I had not fully comprehended the full breadth of the project. My task was to lift the remaining grass in the design, dig up the soil and prepare the area as a garden.

My first response was a few expletives which cannot be shared in this article! You can use your imagination here. Then Jim appeared carrying a yard stick. He set it down in front of me and gave me the following instructions: Place the stick down, mark off the first three feet, move the stick away, dig up the grass, till the soil. REPEAT. Do not lift your head, simply be in the experience until you have finished. Respond to your task and enjoy each 3 foot segment.

I did as he suggested and despite being tempted I did not look up. I stayed in the moment learning that it was very meditative to do so. Four days later the labyrinth was done and honestly, I could not have completed the task without following Jim’s instructions.

The lesson, three feet at a time, has stayed with me since. Each time I begin a new project or embark on a new journey, I bring myself into the experience and consider the first three feet. Using this strategy will allow you to be more present and mindful of your surroundings, taking in information that is readily available to you but which can be so easily missed if you keep your focus only on the destination. It also enriches the experience.

I so often meet individuals who are in overwhelm. It is my belief that they have lost a sense of the journey and why they are on the journey. Responding to overwhelm has two possible options: spinning, which is just continuing on the same course and forgetting to get grounded in the moment or pausing, which as described here brings you into the moment and allows you to be clear on your choices and decide on the first three feet.

I can assure you, at least from my own experience, that carving out the first three feet, works wonders. And so I invite you to do the same: be present, mark off the first three feet, and enjoy the journey. You will reach your destination and along the way, enjoy the experience more.

Until Next Time,

Betty

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Road Signs — 2 Comments

Finish the Race

In the wake of the devastating attack on one of the most prestigious races in North America, the Boston Marathon, I am choosing to focus on an inspiring lessons rather than the devastation.

If you have watched the images of the explosions you will have noticed that one of the runners fell down from the impact of the explosion, just before reaching the finish line. The runner’s name is Bill Iffrig, a 78 year old gentleman from Washington state who was completing his 3^rd Boston marathon.

In his own words Bill described the impact of the blast, a shockwave which turned his legs into noodles. Although dazed, he recovered, and once back on his feet was determined to finish the race. Imagine, despite the devastation around him and being literally knocked off his feet, he decided to finish the race.

This is an inspiration for me – I hope it is for you as well. Never mind that Bill is 78, never mind that he was dazed and pummeled by the blast, he still had the drive and the focus to finish the race. That takes courage and purpose, a lesson which I believe all of us can learn from.

In watching CNN today (yes I admit I tuned in), much of the focus was on the fear such an incident creates and how people go on. The truth – you choose to finish the race.

There are so many things that get in the way, that can keep you from fulfilling your dreams or living your life as you choose it to be. As a life coach and ME FIRST facilitator, I see the casualties every day, the symptoms of a ‘life unlived’.

Fear is the biggest foe, whether it is the fear created by an incident such as that experienced in Boston yesterday, or a fear that is much more subtle and simply whittles away at your self-confidence.

In her book I Will not Die an Unlived Life, author Dawna Markova describes fear as passion without breath. Fear, she suggests, takes our breath away and for all the wrong reasons. Markova goes on to say that to be fully alive, the only choice you have is to move closer to what it is you fear rather than veering away from it. When you veer away, you can’t finish the race.

Each of you have a race you want to win, whether this is a project that beckons to be finished, a desire that remains unfulfilled, a relationship that needs healing, or a journey that keeps calling to you. Stop and consider your life for a moment and ask the question, ‘What is left undone for me to finish?”

In sitting with one of my coaching clients this morning, the complaint that was voiced was what to DO and who to BE next. There is a common malaise that I am witnessing which related to too many projects on the go, too few ever brought to completion. The race is never finished.

Completion is important. It leads to a sense of fulfillment; you experience a sense of success. Success breeds self-esteem which in turn builds self-confidence.

When you have too many balls in the air, too many incomplete projects, your fall into overwhelm. Overwhelm is a state where your energies are scattered, where priorities are unclear and where there is no strategy or direction for moving forward. The only way to shift or change this is to simply stop, choose one project, put everything else in the ‘parking lot’, move forward with that one project and bring it to completion. Finish the race. Once completed, you can celebrate your accomplishment and move on to the next project.

I call this breaking life into chewable chunks. I am certainly guilty of occasionally biting off more than I can chew, and I easily fall into overwhelm. The only strategy is to simplify, to understand that I don’t have to give up anything but that I do need to put some things in the parking lot for another time. And like you, I do love the feeling that comes with completing something. I like to finish the race.

Thank you Bill Iffrig for the lesson. As we all send our blessings for healing to those who suffered loss and injury in yesterday’s race, we can also be grateful to the unsung heroes like Bill who teach us valuable lessons for our own life.

Whatever your race may be, I invite you to commit to finishing the race. Make your life count for something. Do it for yourself first and remember that when you make this choice, you are also serving others.

And live by these words from Dawna Markova:

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I chose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

Until Next time

Betty Healey

Posted on March 14, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

Resilience

In recent years much has been said about our ability to work under less than perfect conditions. There are a variety of things that happen within the modern day workplace which continually attract attention these days, issues such as the ‘toxic boss or colleague’, bullying (yes! It’s not just an issue for kids!), feeling underemployed or underappreciated, and simply spinning from the many demands placed upon you.

So how do you protect yourself? How do you remain resilient?

During the closing session of our most recent Coaching Circle in Cornwall, we all put our heads together and came up with the following strategies:

Practice Gratitude – In the day to day working of life and living, we humans have the habit of focusing on the negative events and happenings of life. When you switch gears and re-focus on those aspects for which you are grateful, it lifts your spirits. Having a gratitude practice where you do this on a daily basis, creates resilience.
Don’t Take It Personally – Create space between yourself and the negative nellies in your life. Their stuff is their stuff and always remember not to take what they have to say personally. It has nothing to do with you.
Speak UP – Learn to speak up for yourself and to speak from your authentic self. You cannot expect others to know what you want or what you are thinking.
Stay Positive – Appreciate that everything that happens in life is perfect; it is there for a reason and a lesson. Learn from mistakes or hiccups, laugh at yourself, and move on with this new lesson tucked under your arm.
Flip-It! – whenever you find yourself focusing on what you don’t want; flip it to what you do want. Remember you attract what you focus on.

Go Downstream – If you find yourself in a battle with yourself, your work or someone else, change directions. Recognize that you are swimming upstream and ask yourself what it would take to change directions to downstream.
Be clear on your ‘I AM” – Your I AM statement represents who you are choosing to be in any situation. It is your source of inner power and clarity. It begins by saying to yourself I AM —-, breathing it in, feeling it and radiating it.
Attract your Perfect Tribe – Be clear on who you want to surround yourself with. Make sure these are people who lift you up and love you unconditionally.
Have ME FIRST time – Commit to a minimum of 15 minutes/day of ME FIRST time. This is time just for you, not to be shared, for breathing, meditation, setting your ‘I AM’ statements or for gratitude.
Space Management – It’s not really about time management, it’s about space management . Be clear about your ‘have to’s’ versus your ‘can do’s’. You can all do lots of things, the question is do you want to, is it necessary or does it belong to you or someone else.
Develop your NO-How – Be clear on your boundaries. Know what your priorities and t your responsibilities are. Develop your ability to say NO to what is not yours to own or take care of.
Single Task – Much attention has been given to our ability to multi-task. The thing is it doesn’t really work. You find yourself with many balls in the air yet nothing ever really gets completed. Learn to set your priorities and take on one task at a time. When you bring tasks to completion, you will grow your self-esteem and confidence.
Affirm Yourself –Check in and make sure you are not diminishing yourself with negative inner talk. You are in charge of this. Become consciously aware of what you are saying to yourself and change the message to something uplifting.
Self-Acknowledgement – When you receive complements form others, accept them graciously and simply say ‘Thank-You’. Take it in like a sponge and acknowledge yourself for the complement you just received.
Choose Inspiring Messaging – Monitor what you choose to read or watch and choose that which inspires you. A highly recommend two sources of daily messages: www.tut.com and www.pattidigh.com.
Listen to Your Body – When you feel unwell or something hurts, turn inward and have a conversation with your body. Ask “what are you trying to communicate to me?” then listen. It’s better than anything a doctor can give you.
Laugh a Lot – Find a friend to have fun with or watch some comedy, whatever it takes to bring laughter into your world. Laughter is a great healer.
Go with the Flow – Notice where the big rocks or obstacles in your life are and move around them versus pushing against them. As one member of our group shared, “It’s easier to ride the horse in the direction the horse is going!”

You will recognize that these suggestions really are just common sense and yet, common sense is not common! I encourage you to take this list and pin it up in a place where it is fully visible and then practice 1, 2 or more of these suggestions daily.

Until next time…

Betty

Posted on March 6, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

What’s Your Symphony?

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common–this is my symphony.”

William Henry Channing

This quote arrived the morning after a powerful Coaching Circle where participants were asked to present their dreams to one another and explore what it would mean to stretch their wings. The result was an interesting discussion on how we are so very capable of subtly yet insidiously capable of sabotaging ourselves.

FEAR
Without recognizing it consciously, most of us fear sharing our dreams. Sharing makes it real, gives the dream fuel and heightens the chance that the dream will come true. And this is the conflict, we have dreams yet we dare not dream.

As Marianne Williamson writes in her famous poem, “Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”. It is our power and the realization that we are powerful, that holds us back. We have been trained to live and be small. Sharing our dreams enlarges them, adds fuel to them, makes them real and occasionally, makes us shrink. Is it time to stop shrinking?

Conditions
Part of our shrinking is our belief that although we want the dream we may not be ready. Here is a little known law, The Law of Right Timing. Many of us have come to understand and practice the Law of Attraction. What we have forgotten is that the Universe always works on our behalf and has our highest good in mind, That means that what we are asking for, our dream, will arrive at the perfect time for us. That may be instantly, tomorrow or three years from now.

If we can move beyond our fears and into our dreams while releasing the how and the timing to the hands of the Universe, perhaps we will finally begin manifesting that which we truly desire.

It’s Rarely Material
Although much of the Law of Attractions early messaging, through vehicles such as The Secret (Movie and book) focused on manifesting financial abundance, my experience is that dreams are rarely attached to the material. Dreams are more about how we choose to live in the world, what we want to accomplish and how we chose to serve. This was best articulated by one of our circle participants who shared, “I don’t need a lot. It’s not material things I want to own. I want enough financial abundance to cover my costs, go shopping for a new dress occasionally and enjoy a dinner out from time to time. My dream is so much more than this.”

What is Your Symphony?
Have I convinced YOU – have I convinced myself?

Dare I dream?

Dare I share them?

Dare I allow them?

Dare I embrace them?

I dream of playing on the world stage as a speaker and facilitator,
reaching out to people around the world with what I know to be true –
that when each of us makes peace with ourselves and steps into our power and our dream,
we change the world.

I invite you to hold my dream, my symphony!

Will you share yours with me?

Until next time….

Betty

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

Finding Your Tribe

In the months since we began facilitating coaching circles, one of the unanticipated outcomes of the circles has been the building of community. I’m not sure why, but it had not occurred to me just how alone people have been feeling. Certainly I have noticed it myself. I just assumed that because I choose to live rurally now, that being alone was my new way of life.

With the start of each coaching circle, we ask participants to share with us their intentions for what they want to gain from the experience. Inevitably several of the participants mention that they are looking for community. Specifically they want to connect to like-minded individuals who, like themselves, are choosing to step on the path of self-discovery and shape their life differently.

As facilitators we have learned that the coaching circle is a transformative experience, partly due to the coaching and largely due to the sharing of experience of the individual participants. Participants relate to the feelings, thoughts and experiences of others. Suddenly they realize that they are not alone in those sometimes dark places and that their struggles to live their life differently are shared by others.

In a recent blog posting from colleague Lianne Bridges, www.shiftvillage.com, Lianne shared her experience of attending the Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco, “To be in the presence of conscious individuals is awe-inspiring….What was so amazing about this conference were the sixteen-hundred people from all walks of life and four corners of the world who shared one main perspective – the strong desire to use their expertise and gifts to better the world.”

Lianne also refers to community as one’s tribe. By her definition, tribe does not necessarily refer only to people who are bound to you by familial, geographic, political, cultural or even racial ties, but also includes people who share your closely held beliefs or world views.

Finding our tribe, our community, may be one of the healthiest and most essential gifts we can give ourselves. People do feel alone. The isolation people are experiencing is a secondary effect of our technological prowess. We have grown attached to the I-phones, Blackberries and other gadgets that give us the illusion of being connected. It is however superficial – words with no depth, no real meaning, no eye to eye contact.

We have also lost many of the social structures that once connected us – the church communities, the service clubs, the back yard BBQ’s. Is it that life has simply become too busy?

Whatever the reason, the loss of these social systems has left people searching for ways to connect.

Developing community, or finding your tribe as Lianne has suggested, has become important. It is part of feeling whole and consciously connected to a shared meaning and an opportunity to learn more about you through the eyes of others.

So where do you start; how do you find your tribe?

It begins with reaching out to others whom you sense have a similar desire or who may want to rally around a shared cause.
It begins with your desire to understand yourself and to share the experience of personal discovery with others.
It begins by being clear about who you actually want to ‘BE’ with and taking the time to describe who would be perfect for you at this time in your life.
It begins by being open-hearted, generous and kind – first with yourself, then with others. You can only attract these kinds of companions when you give it to self-first.
It begins by stepping out of your comfort zone and reaching out to others, or perhaps signing up for a program which you believe will attract others you want to be with.
It begins by trusting your heart more than your head, listening to your intuition when you encounter others and your deep sense of knowing they are a perfect companion.

There is an opportunity to begin to notice the opportunities that may already exist in your community. Who around you shares common values, desires and perhaps stories. Take the first step – put out a call to your friends, colleagues and acquaintances and start a conversation. Create a gathering around a book, a question, a theme.

You may find your tribe!

Until next time…

Betty

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

We have launched!

After weeks of concentrated effort we have launched our new website for roadSIGNS (www.roadsigns.ca) . I have no illusions now that creating a quality website happens easily. This is the first significant overhaul we have completed for several years and one that was badly needed. With the changes in our focus that have occurred through the years, our previous website was not supporting us.

Being Attractive
In the work Jim and I teach regarding Strategic Attraction, we have become clear regarding what we want. Although I am tempted from time to time to interfere, I am learning to leave the ‘HOW” the wants unfold up to the Universe. I am constantly schooling myself in the art of Patience and Trust as a result! An important part of Strategic Attraction however, is being the Lighthouse, helping people find you.; hence the website, with all the proper SEO behind the scenes, and clear attention to the details within the content.

A Labor of Love
While I occasionally forgot, writing the new content was a labor of love. As we launch our new conversation about Conscious Communication, writing helped me to understand what it is and how we want to share this with clients.

What is Conscious Communication
Conscious Communication is the process of learning to be fully present, aware and mindful both with yourself and others. The process is an essential one for understanding yourself, leveraging the best of who you are and ultimately, connecting effectively with others.

It is rare that individuals consider how they are connecting with themselves. They are unaware of the elevator music playing in their ears and the subliminal messages they are feeding themselves. Building on the new research in Positive Psychology, we are learning that these internal conversations must be brought into consciousness if we want to change them. We call this from Critic to Coach, re-programming the messages of your inner critic, the voice that puts you down, into that of your Inner Coach, that which lifts you up.

Once you begin to change your inner conversation, you show up differently in the eyes of others. You are visible and you have the opportunity to engage others differently, whether this is in conversation or simply in who you are being. This is the other side of Conscious Communication – how you are with others and who you are choosing to be from one moment to the next.

What’s in it for YOU?
If you want to feel better about yourself and think more positive thoughts, I invite you into this conversation. Stay tuned for upcoming posts and I invite you to check us out at www.roadsigns.ca.

Until next time…

Betty

Posted on December 19, 2012 by Road Signs — Leave a comment

Create Your New Story

With the approach of 12-21-12 I am feeling a heightened sense of awareness. My nighst have been orchestrated by a dreamscape that has had me travelling around the world. It has been chaotic and occasionally energy depleting.

I cannot seem to make sense of it all either although one dream stuck. I am driving down a very narrow road, a steep rock face off to the right. There are road crews all around, apparently working at widening the road. I can see areas where the rock face is pulling apart, about to give way. As I look closer to examine the surface, the rock face turns into a series of tombstones.

When I awake the dream seems more of a vision and I am left wondering what it meant, what’s the metaphor. I shared the dream with Jim and then my coach Patty, exploring the imagery. Here is what emerged: the tombstones represent all the Old Stories I have travelled with in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.

In my work I have come to understand that Old Stories are frequently riddled with limiting beliefs, the voices of my inner critics, assumptions and judgments, and so much more – a complex web of stuff that simply no longer serves me. And so as I approach the New Age, a time when I pray we find peace on earth, I am tasked with making peace within. And who among us is not travelling the same path?

This is not news to me. The vision simply emphasizes that now, more than ever, a sift within me is important. I want to enter the portal of 12-21-12 with a clean slate, dismantling the clutter of many lifetimes, releasing the stories that no longer serve me and giving myself space to receive all that is in my highest good.

Here is my plan:

1) Although I have done this many times, I plan to record the contents of my Old Stories and burn them. Ashes to Ashes….

2) A deep meditation, filling the open space with breath, possibilities, peace, joy and prosperity

3) A card spread, probably using OSHO Cards, guided by an intentional question to be defined

4) Integration – a wee bit of journaling

5) Celebration – a little dancing, chanting, singing, yelping… you get the picture

Here is one big intention for me in the New Year, to lighten up, and live from my heart more. This is my journey and my work at the moment.

My wish for you: Wonder about your Old Stories and begin to create your New Story. Remember that you do create your life – it begins with being clear about what you want. De-clutter – take a look at anything that gets in your way and find a way to send it off with the wind. Be your own best friend and guide.

Until next time…

Betty