Category: ME FIRST

The Upper Hudson Highlands is a lesser known area of New York State. Whenever I mention the region to native New Yorkers, especially those from ‘The City’, a blank stare of ‘where the heck is that’ shadows across their face. Interesting how we can know so little about our own back yard, as the ‘Highlands’ are a short one hour train ride from the Big Apple.

Our friends Lynn and Norm live in Garrison, a train stop located on the Hudson River directly across from West Point. Sail boats cruise by on those leisurely summer days circled by the occasional faster moving craft. The area is known for its steep rolling hills, heavily forested and steeped in history dating back to the days of the 13 colonies. We have visited there now on a half dozen occasions, in all four seasons. 

Part of the attraction is a place which has become a second home to us, a log cabin nestled into a rocky outcropping on Old Albany Post Road, a former stage coach route. This of course is where Lynn and Norm reside. It is hard to believe we met them only 3 short years ago while on an Alaskan Cruise. Have you noticed that when you are older, the people you meet seem familiar to you and that the friendships that form are more authentic? That’s what the four of us share. 

Yesterday, October 17^th was Lynn and Norm’s 11^th wedding anniversary. That is one of the reasons why we are here – to celebrate.

The invitation was initiated by another friend however, one of my coaching colleagues Janet Wise. A few weeks ago, Janet and I had connected, and as so often happens on our coaching conversations, began to discuss what’s next. She shared that she was about to turn 50 and that she had not decided how she wanted to celebrate this occasion. It needed to be special, something unusual. We brainstormed and an idea was born, seeded by our conversation about the launch of ME FIRST. 

“I’ll have a ME FIRST luncheon,” she announced, “and invite those women who have significantly influenced my life. And, I’ll gift them each with a copy of ME FIRST. How cool would that be?” I was both shocked and pleased – what a way to honor your friends and what a gift to me. ‘Will you come she asked?” I think she expected me to say no, after all NYC is a 7 hour drive. But how could I refuse?

Jim and I arrived at Grand Central Station 11 am Saturday morning. The day was damp and cold, rain spitting around us. We stopped for a Starbuck’s fix and while in the coffee shop, shared a few attractionCARDS with other patrons. As a result we met an air line hostess who flew with British Airways and was on a layover.

We entered the Roger Smith Hotel, corner of Lexington and 47^th at noon. Janet was setting up the room. A small army of helpers responded to her directions, placing flowers, candles, and coat racks in key locations. It was a symphony of focused activity.

As 12:30 approached women of all ages began to filter into the room, her mother and aunts, all in the early eighties, colleagues and friends from various phases of Janet’s adult life, high school friends whom she had lost touch with and re-located through Facebook, and a bevy of nieces and of course her daughter – a multi-generational tapestry of amazing women.

I don’t think that the choices Janet had made for celebrating her 50^th birthday really occurred to me until that moment. I had been asked to briefly entertain this group with the ME FIRST message as part of a Janet’s special day. I was filled with gratitude for this opportunity and for Janet. I was humbled by the presence of these women who had influenced her life and continue to do so. I was in admiration of Janet’s clarity regarding what she wanted for her special day; how she chose to put herself first in that moment and offer every other woman in the room the opportunity of considering this message for themselves.

This was an act of selfness, allowing Janet to be clear about what she wanted and to take the actions that would support her desires as well as a most unselfish act, in her decision to give the gift of ME FIRST to her friends.

As I approach a significant landmark birthday in 2010, I want to carry this message with me. Janet has been an amazing role model and teacher for me these last few weeks. And how cool, really cool was the idea of using her birthday celebration in such a unique way – the seed of a new way to be – ME FIRST!

Until next time…

Betty

The Upper Hudson Highlands is a lesser known area of New York State. Whenever I mention the region to native New Yorkers, especially those from ‘The City’, a blank stare of ‘where the heck is that’ shadows across their face. Interesting how we can know so little about our own back yard, as the ‘Highlands’ are a short one hour train ride from the Big Apple.

Our friends Lynn and Norm live in Garrison, a train stop located on the Hudson River directly across from West Point. Sail boats cruise by on those leisurely summer days circled by the occasional faster moving craft. The area is known for its steep rolling hills, heavily forested and steeped in history dating back to the days of the 13 colonies. We have visited there now on a half dozen occasions, in all four seasons. 

Part of the attraction is a place which has become a second home to us, a log cabin nestled into a rocky outcropping on Old Albany Post Road, a former stage coach route. This of course is where Lynn and Norm reside. It is hard to believe we met them only 3 short years ago while on an Alaskan Cruise. Have you noticed that when you are older, the people you meet seem familiar to you and that the friendships that form are more authentic? That’s what the four of us share. 

Yesterday, October 17^th was Lynn and Norm’s 11^th wedding anniversary. That is one of the reasons why we are here – to celebrate.

The invitation was initiated by another friend however, one of my coaching colleagues Janet Wise. A few weeks ago, Janet and I had connected, and as so often happens on our coaching conversations, began to discuss what’s next. She shared that she was about to turn 50 and that she had not decided how she wanted to celebrate this occasion. It needed to be special, something unusual. We brainstormed and an idea was born, seeded by our conversation about the launch of ME FIRST. 

“I’ll have a ME FIRST luncheon,” she announced, “and invite those women who have significantly influenced my life. And, I’ll gift them each with a copy of ME FIRST. How cool would that be?” I was both shocked and pleased – what a way to honor your friends and what a gift to me. ‘Will you come she asked?” I think she expected me to say no, after all NYC is a 7 hour drive. But how could I refuse?

Jim and I arrived at Grand Central Station 11 am Saturday morning. The day was damp and cold, rain spitting around us. We stopped for a Starbuck’s fix and while in the coffee shop, shared a few attractionCARDS with other patrons. As a result we met an air line hostess who flew with British Airways and was on a layover.

We entered the Roger Smith Hotel, corner of Lexington and 47^th at noon. Janet was setting up the room. A small army of helpers responded to her directions, placing flowers, candles, and coat racks in key locations. It was a symphony of focused activity.

As 12:30 approached women of all ages began to filter into the room, her mother and aunts, all in the early eighties, colleagues and friends from various phases of Janet’s adult life, high school friends whom she had lost touch with and re-located through Facebook, and a bevy of nieces and of course her daughter – a multi-generational tapestry of amazing women.

I don’t think that the choices Janet had made for celebrating her 50^th birthday really occurred to me until that moment. I had been asked to briefly entertain this group with the ME FIRST message as part of a Janet’s special day. I was filled with gratitude for this opportunity and for Janet. I was humbled by the presence of these women who had influenced her life and continue to do so. I was in admiration of Janet’s clarity regarding what she wanted for her special day; how she chose to put herself first in that moment and offer every other woman in the room the opportunity of considering this message for themselves.

This was an act of selfness, allowing Janet to be clear about what she wanted and to take the actions that would support her desires as well as a most unselfish act, in her decision to give the gift of ME FIRST to her friends.

As I approach a significant landmark birthday in 2010, I want to carry this message with me. Janet has been an amazing role model and teacher for me these last few weeks. And how cool, really cool was the idea of using her birthday celebration in such a unique way – the seed of a new way to be – ME FIRST!

Until next time…

Betty

I was invited to speak to a group of about thirty adult students at Tri-County Literacy in Cornwall this past Tuesday. As we were discussing the idea of stepping into our own power, and the things that prevented us from doing this, one of the participants asked me about ‘bullies’. I thought this to be an interesting question, so I probed a bit more, asking if she was referring to bullies in schools or bullying in general.

The story we hear most often is about bullying in elementary and secondary school environments, rarely realizing that adults bully one another as well. This happens in marriages and families as well as in the workforce. The person who asked the question responded with, “I mean bullying in general. We all have them in our lives!”

I loved the question as truly we all do have a bully in our life. I call him or her the self-critic, the person who sits on your shoulder, screaming in one of your ears, and reminding you how imperfect you are. My self-described bully, named Beatrice, has often been unleashed in my head.

As I shared my journey with my critic with the audience, the heads began to nod. I shared this as bullies will appear in our life if we are bullying ourselves with negative self-talk and criticism. I asked the audience to consider this question, “Where in your life are you bullying you?”

The initial response was to say, “I don’t” until I asked each person to consider the kinds of feedback they typically give to themselves on a day today basis. Participants quickly realized that they were treating themselves in a very deprecating way.

So here was the big roadSIGN – you will attract bullies to your life, if you have a bullying relationship with yourself. Like attracts like.

If you can begin to monitor the voice of your self-critic, listen to what he/she is telling you and decide that this is way less than perfect for you, you have taken the first critical step. If next you begin to re-record those messages, replacing your bully with your Heart Voice, a voice that is respectful and builds you up, that is the next step. Not always easy, yet necessary. If we want others to treat us well, the journey begins by treating ourselves well.

So who is the REAL bully in your life? Start with ME FIRST.

Until next time….

Betty

I was invited to speak to a group of about thirty adult students at Tri-County Literacy in Cornwall this past Tuesday. As we were discussing the idea of stepping into our own power, and the things that prevented us from doing this, one of the participants asked me about ‘bullies’. I thought this to be an interesting question, so I probed a bit more, asking if she was referring to bullies in schools or bullying in general.

The story we hear most often is about bullying in elementary and secondary school environments, rarely realizing that adults bully one another as well. This happens in marriages and families as well as in the workforce. The person who asked the question responded with, “I mean bullying in general. We all have them in our lives!”

I loved the question as truly we all do have a bully in our life. I call him or her the self-critic, the person who sits on your shoulder, screaming in one of your ears, and reminding you how imperfect you are. My self-described bully, named Beatrice, has often been unleashed in my head.

As I shared my journey with my critic with the audience, the heads began to nod. I shared this as bullies will appear in our life if we are bullying ourselves with negative self-talk and criticism. I asked the audience to consider this question, “Where in your life are you bullying you?”

The initial response was to say, “I don’t” until I asked each person to consider the kinds of feedback they typically give to themselves on a day today basis. Participants quickly realized that they were treating themselves in a very deprecating way.

So here was the big roadSIGN – you will attract bullies to your life, if you have a bullying relationship with yourself. Like attracts like.

If you can begin to monitor the voice of your self-critic, listen to what he/she is telling you and decide that this is way less than perfect for you, you have taken the first critical step. If next you begin to re-record those messages, replacing your bully with your Heart Voice, a voice that is respectful and builds you up, that is the next step. Not always easy, yet necessary. If we want others to treat us well, the journey begins by treating ourselves well.

So who is the REAL bully in your life? Start with ME FIRST.

Until next time….

Betty

Although the weather continues to be grey, I am really energized this morning. This past week has been an amazing adventure of business building, networking events and two speaking engagements.

It feels like my world has suddenly sped up and I have truly been ‘joyfully engaged’. SIGNS have been appearing everywhere. I have been practicing mindfulness and intention daily as the ME FIRST journey continues to unfold.

It is interesting – I have been writing now for over 8 years. With two previous books under my wings, I did not expect the response to ME FIRST – If I Should Wake Before I Die to be so significant, even though this has been my intention since I first felt inspired to write the book.

Writing this book was in and of itself an adventure and at times a rather tortuous path. Readers always ask me two questions: “Did you always know you were a writer?” and “How long did it take to write this book?”

“Did you always know you were a writer?”
NO! It never really occurred to me. As an avid reader of both fiction and spirit elevating books, I knew only what I enjoyed and that I had an appreciation for good writing. Then a number of my coaching colleagues began speaking about writing ‘their’ book and I thought why not? Many of my clients had asked for a book which would support their self-discovery work and be consistent with the conversations we were having. So what did I do? In 2001 I began writing a monthly e-letter, which continues today. This dove tailed into my first two books, roadSIGNS – Travel Tips for Authentic Living and roadSIGNS – Travel Tips to Higher Ground.

But that was then and this is now, writing ME FIRST has been a very different experience.

“How long did it take to write this book?”
The easy answer is three years. The truth is a lifetime. My two previous books were a compilation of the monthly e-letters. ME FIRST was the first book to be written totally from scratch so to speak, like baking a very rich, lip smacking carrot cake and adding loving intention along with every ingredient in the recipe.

I mentioned the tortuous path – the book was written twice. The first version, which was 80% complete, was shelved when I realized I was writing the wrong book. I was pushing it out, and like a mother in labor, if you push too hard, complications arise. I stopped writing for several months and set an intention to hear the book, to listen deeply to my life and the lives of others, and to receive the book.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but for me it changed everything. My life, my experiences, my memories began to reappear and demanded to be woven into the fabric of the text. ME FIRST represent my roots and my awakening!

So is this book just about me or is valuable to others? The subtitle, If I Should Wake Before I Die, is stunningly attractive. That is what I am learning. Most of you will recognize that this line comes from the third line of a familiar child’s prayer, Now I lay me down to sleep…., and reconfigures the words, If I should die before I wake. Okay – I am wondering who in their right mind thought is was a good idea to teach this to children! Hence ‘waking up’!

So why am I energized on this rainy morning? I attended one networking event this week, one which I had not previously attended. After introducing myself and the book, people lined up to buy a copy. First SIGN.

I also spoke at two different venues where the audiences were not only receptive but totally engaged. One attendee said, “This is exactly what I need right now. Thank You!” Second SIGN. This was music to my ears.

My intention to reach out to others and to be of service to them is happening and that in a nut shell is what this entire ME FIRST Journey is about. And as Christine at Café Connectionz so aptly said, “The books are selling like pancakes!”

I don’t mean this to sound ego centric. I am simply delighted that something that I created, something I poured my heart into over the last 3 years, is not only attractive to others, but helping them. It is my intention to send out a tidal wave of ME FIRST energy across the world, offering humankind the tools to make peace with themselves and to step into their own power. The time is now – no more hesitating!

Until next time….

Your roadSIGNS Coach and ME FIRST Champion,

Betty

Although the weather continues to be grey, I am really energized this morning. This past week has been an amazing adventure of business building, networking events and two speaking engagements.

It feels like my world has suddenly sped up and I have truly been ‘joyfully engaged’. SIGNS have been appearing everywhere. I have been practicing mindfulness and intention daily as the ME FIRST journey continues to unfold.

It is interesting – I have been writing now for over 8 years. With two previous books under my wings, I did not expect the response to ME FIRST – If I Should Wake Before I Die to be so significant, even though this has been my intention since I first felt inspired to write the book.

Writing this book was in and of itself an adventure and at times a rather tortuous path. Readers always ask me two questions: “Did you always know you were a writer?” and “How long did it take to write this book?”

“Did you always know you were a writer?”
NO! It never really occurred to me. As an avid reader of both fiction and spirit elevating books, I knew only what I enjoyed and that I had an appreciation for good writing. Then a number of my coaching colleagues began speaking about writing ‘their’ book and I thought why not? Many of my clients had asked for a book which would support their self-discovery work and be consistent with the conversations we were having. So what did I do? In 2001 I began writing a monthly e-letter, which continues today. This dove tailed into my first two books, roadSIGNS – Travel Tips for Authentic Living and roadSIGNS – Travel Tips to Higher Ground.

But that was then and this is now, writing ME FIRST has been a very different experience.

“How long did it take to write this book?”
The easy answer is three years. The truth is a lifetime. My two previous books were a compilation of the monthly e-letters. ME FIRST was the first book to be written totally from scratch so to speak, like baking a very rich, lip smacking carrot cake and adding loving intention along with every ingredient in the recipe.

I mentioned the tortuous path – the book was written twice. The first version, which was 80% complete, was shelved when I realized I was writing the wrong book. I was pushing it out, and like a mother in labor, if you push too hard, complications arise. I stopped writing for several months and set an intention to hear the book, to listen deeply to my life and the lives of others, and to receive the book.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but for me it changed everything. My life, my experiences, my memories began to reappear and demanded to be woven into the fabric of the text. ME FIRST represent my roots and my awakening!

So is this book just about me or is valuable to others? The subtitle, If I Should Wake Before I Die, is stunningly attractive. That is what I am learning. Most of you will recognize that this line comes from the third line of a familiar child’s prayer, Now I lay me down to sleep…., and reconfigures the words, If I should die before I wake. Okay – I am wondering who in their right mind thought is was a good idea to teach this to children! Hence ‘waking up’!

So why am I energized on this rainy morning? I attended one networking event this week, one which I had not previously attended. After introducing myself and the book, people lined up to buy a copy. First SIGN.

I also spoke at two different venues where the audiences were not only receptive but totally engaged. One attendee said, “This is exactly what I need right now. Thank You!” Second SIGN. This was music to my ears.

My intention to reach out to others and to be of service to them is happening and that in a nut shell is what this entire ME FIRST Journey is about. And as Christine at Café Connectionz so aptly said, “The books are selling like pancakes!”

I don’t mean this to sound ego centric. I am simply delighted that something that I created, something I poured my heart into over the last 3 years, is not only attractive to others, but helping them. It is my intention to send out a tidal wave of ME FIRST energy across the world, offering humankind the tools to make peace with themselves and to step into their own power. The time is now – no more hesitating!

Until next time….

Your roadSIGNS Coach and ME FIRST Champion,

Betty