Category: Lumina Learning

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The Journey Continues

Five months have passed since my last blog. I won’t record all the usual platitudes related to time passing too quickly; time has simply passed. the time needed to wonder and wander, to reflect and explore, to experience sadness and grief as well as curiosity and exhilaration. This is the great duality of any journey forward, of the inevitable changes that life offers us.

In my ‘weekly courage’ message this morning, was the following: Spirit has little regard for human comfort. The spiritual path is one of relentless change and letting go until you are stripped of all that is no longer working for you.

That pretty much sums it up. My experience of the last few months has been one of re-evaluating what occupies me. To the notion of what I refer to as ‘Space Management’, I am exploring what takes up space in my life and asking is it important, does it make a difference to me and others, is it something I want to continue to do and more. It is a challenge for as I examine each question I have begun to realize that many of my ‘doings’ stem from a sense of obligation, of duty, which I have to say surprises me. I had thought that my choices were predicated on what is truly important and engaging. Not always so!

What now, I ask. Back to the origins of this blog: learning to release what no longer serves me, relaxing in the space I am creating, allowing highest good opportunities to show themselves to me. OMG this sounds so easy and OMG it is not. I find myself in judgment, and occasionally worry. What if my new life is not as engaging as the life I am leaving behind? Yes this is silliness I know and yet, I am sure you will agree if you are on the journey with me, that it is real.

Here is the other side. I have released several aspects of business and with each release I do feel lighter. I am enjoying the freedom afforded me as the result of fewer clients and projects on the books. I enjoyed the opportunities the lengthy fall provided and hours spent in the garden.I recently qualified in a new psychometric evaluation called Lumina Emotion which I look forward to offering others. I have more time to paint and write, if I chose.

Here is my observation – it is easy to get bogged down in what you are giving up and lose sight of what is opening up. It is challenging to trust your intentions and let them unfold when the time is right. It is equally challenging to be patient with the process and forgiving of yourself when you have an emotional reaction to the changes in your life. All this to say, this is the journey, this is the experience of being stripped down and letting go.

So to all of you out there who are, like me, walking in your Third Act, I have simply this advice to offer you today. Love yourself and love the journey. Embrace what you feel, cry if you must. Allow yourself the opportunity of stripping away the stuff that fills your space but no longer fuels your spirit. It is your time; it is my time. We do get to choose and I for one plan to choose well. And I get it, now may not be the time for choosing as I am still releasing. The space needs some more de-cluttering and organization before I begin redecorating.

infusing-the-grid

Infusing the GRID,
Peace, love, courage, grace streaming
into the seams of  life.

This painting, Infusing the GRID with its companion Haiku,  is an apt metaphor for the experience of this journey. As you infuse your grid, chose that which fuels your spirit and helps you create the Third Act which is distinctly yours.

Until next time…..

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Adding Value

Four weeks ago while browsing through Facebook I came upon a TEDx talk by fellow Canadian Drew Dudley entitled This Game has No Winners. The fifteen minute presentation not only had an impact on me, it validated my personal beliefs and the work we have been doing with organizations.

In his talk, which I invite you to watch (see link below), Drew talks about the education system we have been raised in and how we have been cultured to not challenge the ‘truths’ we are taught, nor the rules or perspectives that are downloaded to us. These so called truths and rules form what I refer to as the IBSC (better known as the Itty Bitty Sh—- Committee), that choir of critical voices that sings in our ear and tells us how we are expected to play in the world. We teach our children that life and work is a game, that there are winners and losers, the great competition and the fight for resources. It is a scarcity rather than an abundance model.

The symptoms of this game are all the things we complain about in today’s world: greed, jealousy, bullying, empire building, spiritual dis-ease, lack of meaning, and more.

Many of us believe that there is another way. The what if is, what if we chose not to play this game? What if collaboration, understanding, and yes, LOVE, were the more powerful and potent tools. What if rather than beating the other guy down we endeavored to simply Add Value! What if we lived our lives through our compelling ‘WHY’, our sense of purpose and how we chose to serve the world? Same or different?

As Drew stated in his talk, there really is only one goal to strive for in life:

I will add aim to add tremendous value in every single interpersonal interaction in which I am a part of.

I will strive to give someone something they didn’t even know they needed or wanted.

…this is a matter of no longer asking what we need to do, rather asking who we need to be

(and to choose) to be the type of person who allows the people around me to shine brighter.

Drew Dudley

 

(To view this TEDX Talk go to http://youtu.be/d02UlBC3knw )

In the last two years we have focused our work on Conscious Communication, developing your communication intelligence. This has two fronts, one internal and one external.

The internal front addresses those conversations you have with yourself and asks if these conversations are uplifting or diminishing. It requires listening in on the IBSC to assess the messages that are running in your head and what you are feeding yourself. Are you telling yourself the truth? Are your messages driven by ‘them’, all the voices which told you the rules and expectations? Is your internal conversation intelligent? If it does not lift you up, it isn’t!

The external front addresses your relationship with the world, friends and family and work colleagues. It begins with self-knowing and acceptance which then allows you to see others and how they are similar or different. Communication Intelligence or CQ teaches that life is about understanding and working with diversity, learning about, celebrating and embracing your personal strengths as well as the strengths of others. It teaches that the approaches others take in their communication to us are not about us, they are about the individual speaking. Hence it teaches how not to take things personally. Of course the ultimate vision is collaboration and adding value.

I invite you to examine both your CQ as well as the value you add to every conversation and interaction. This might just be the new start you need….

For more information regarding Conscious Communication go to www.roadsigns.ca.

 

Until next time,

 

Betty

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Average is Over!

Average is Over Over a period of three days, January 20th through 22nd, I had the great experience of attending the Cannexus National Career Development Conference in Ottawa. Although not specifically in the career development field myself, I felt this was an opportunity to learn what was going on and how our work with creating strength-based conversations might overlap. The opening keynote by Rich Feller on a Life Re-Imagined was a great start. A number of his comments resonated with me:

  • Average is over
  • There is a world of opportunity out there if you know how to engage it
  • Our ability to be excellent is reliant on our ability to be high in imagination
  • If we are uncommitted to learning we will struggle
  • It’s a great time to be an entrepreneur, and more.

It was his comment that there are two types of work cultures: HIE’s (High Imagination Enabling) and LIE’s (Low Imagination Enabling). This led me to thinking about the factors that would contribute to developing HIE work cultures and how this is related to the work we are developing around Creating Strength-Based Work Cultures. I asked myself, how can a work culture be high in imagination if it does not understand what it already has in terms of resources. Imagination is stifled in many work cultures as people, managers and employees get stuck. They are accustomed to operating in a certain way and have lost or ignored their ability to re-frame situations and opportunities and move forward.

This short video is a humorous and poignant example: http://search.tb.ask.com/search/video.jhtml?searchfor=stuck+on+the+escalator+film+clip&cb=HJ&pg=GGmain&p2=%5EHJ%5Exdm005%5EYYA%5Eca&n=77fd7b74&qid=79b22bcbe11c4f1d8b1891a8eee288a3&pn=1&ss=sub&st=hp&ptb=573BA7D8-CF70-407E-BE32-FF3A869C9375&tpr=sbt&si=CMqjsbbJiroCFYZaMgoddmEAYQ&vid=VrSUe_m19FY

One of our favorite questions to ask ourselves and others is simple, ‘what else is possible?’ I have learned that this question makes people nervous as it forces them to take off their goal oriented blinders and to check their peripheral vision. While most people know that if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got, they hesitate to change it up. That said, how will they survive? If average is over, what steps will people and organizations have to take as success in the future is re-defined. Careers, as we know, are no longer a linear path. Dr. Feller suggested they are more like a ‘slinky’, flexible, energy moving in both directions, easing your way through career transition.

 Slinky

Again, as I examined career transition, and how each individual approaches this, I considered the benefits of self-knowledge and knowing what makes you ‘tick’. Looking through the lens of my own experience, and I was not a typical baby boomer as I transitioned careers several times, I recognize that my approach was less than informed. I simply jumped from one job to another succeeding in having 14 positions in my first 17 years of work. Not ideal. What if I had worked with a professional who could help me assess my future choices? What if I could have seen myself through the lens of my strengths in addition to what engaged me? Would I have made different choices? Recognizing these trends, that average is over, and that imagination is key, how does one approach life and work? In his book Being a Star at Work, Robert Kelley suggests the following:

  • Bring added value to your job every day and go beyond the job description
  • Tap into ‘guru networks’ – know what you don’t know and where to find it
  • Have organizational savvy – promote cooperation and move from conflict to getting things done.

Needless to say, a key to thriving in the work of the future will be internal motivation. The era of finding a job for a lifetime and expecting your employer to provide all the perks and opportunities are disappearing. Related to this is the knowledge of what you are good at, what your strengths are, where your interests and passion lies, and how you want to make a contribution. Daniel Pink summarizes by stating that better performance will hinge on:

  1. Autonomy: an urge to self-direct one’s career
  2. Mastery: a desire to get better and  a commitment to lifelong learning
  3. Purpose: a yearning for something greater than what is

All of this leads me to believe that the idea of self-knowledge, of assessing, naming and knowing your qualities/strengths is an essential ingredient. I see strengths as a foundation upon which to build your ‘what’s next’, choosing the direction in which to go, understanding the learning that supports your strengths and engaging the best of who you are in your inner sense of meaning.

WOW! Thanks to Dr. Rich Feller for his enlightening presentation and for light me up!

For more information regarding assessing your preferred qualities/strengths, go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/products/lumina-portraits-2/

Until next time….

Betty

Join us for Living from your Strengths, http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/coaching-circles-retreat/,   a one-day retreat designed to help your assess your preferred qualities/strengths, to be held Saturday, February 15th, 2014. Follow the link for details.