Category: Intentions

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Forgiveness

I heard this quote the other day, “Forgiveness does not change the past, it enlarges the future.”  It struck me as a wonderful way to express the importance of forgiveness and how forgiveness is something you really gift to yourself.

International Peace SIGN

How can we have world peace when we do not have inner peace?

Have you not, at some point in your life, heard yourself say, “I will never forgive them!” Forgiveness, or the lack of it, is something that most of us use as a tool to punish someone else. Crazy don’t you think, for the truth is that the only one that gets harmed is you. Consider one of the people on your non-forgiveness list and ask yourself just a few questions such as:

  1. When was the last time you saw them?
  2. Were they aware that you are upset with them?
  3. Do they know they are on your non-forgiveness list?
  4. How is this affecting them?

The last question may be the most important. I have come to realize that most of the friends or family members who make my list usually don’t know about it. Heck, they may no longer be among the living. So when I stop to take a look at forgiveness or the lack thereof, I am the only one who knows. Now that is just crazy because in fact, rather than hurting the other person, which is the usual motive behind non-forgiveness, it is hurting me.

Okay, time to re-assess this whole forgiveness thing. Here it is – if you have someone whom you have not forgiven, you are not hurting them, you are hurting YOU. It is you who continues to carry the anger, the hurt or the grudge, not them. It is you who feels the heart ach or stomach churning, not them. So what do you do about that. Forgive them?

That just doesn’t seem right does it? Or does it? Remember, forgiveness is for you not them.

Years ago I read a wonderful book on forgiveness by Dr. Jerald Jampolsky. One of the things he shared which really helped me is that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you agree with the actions taken by the other person. It’s simply that you forgive them and understand that they, like you, are human and prone to making mistakes. That helped me a lot because I felt that by forgiving I was condoning what they had done. The next thing he suggested was to make a list of all those people whom I had not forgiven. I can remember thinking that my list wouldn’t be very long so I began writing my list on a very small piece of paper. Once I got started, the names came pouring out and as you will have guessed, I needed a lot more paper. It is not that I am an angry person, I just allowed myself to pour it out, all those people I had felt harmed by in my life. Somehow just the act of naming them helped and I felt a huge relief.

The next step was to actually work on the forgiveness piece. This is where I learned about Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian tradition that helps you to clean up past memories and move toward forgiveness. It works like this – after writing down your list, you focus your attention on all these people and say the following:

  • I love you.
  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you

How does this work. By focusing your attention on each person and repeating this ‘mantra’ you replace the mental chatter that was filling your head about them. You allow yourself to release the transgressions you believe they committed against you and create space within you for love, generosity and more.

Oh, and by the way, the person who is often in need of the most forgiving is YOU. Haven’t you noticed how hard you are on yourself and the exacting standards of perfection to which you hold yourself? You may want to start your forgiveness journey by practicing on yourself first.

It is time you know – why would any of us want to waste time on emotions which drain us when we could be filling up with love, joy and abundance.

Until next time….

Betty

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When Spirit Speaks

I am sitting in my friend Betty Jones’ house, propped up in bed. As I glance out the window to my right the Great Smokey mountains fall away in layers, shades of grey with the early morning fog lingering in the valleys, the fog that gives this sacred place its name. We have been here for two days visiting friends. Each time I return here I feel a deeper connection. There is a sacredness here, an ancient history, a sense that spirit and spirits reside here, a place to clear your head and be open to receive. Yesterday, as we trekked into the mountains following Betty’s lead, we traced through mountain meadows lined with flowers, took in water falls, smelled the forest floor, and imagined how the landscape will change which each new season and each new bloom.

Along the path, when you allow it, spirit speaks to you. The events of the world are not evident here. All sound reflects nature and nature only; it speaks of peace and beauty and perhaps most importantly, it speaks of what is truly important – the earth. I am reminded how important it is to be in places such of this, away from the frenetic pace each of us gets caught up in and the illusion of what seems to be important. Very little of it is and I believe that if I could convince each person to simply stop, breathe, and really communicate with Mother Earth, we would remember why we came here in the first place.

At then end of our day, back home, the rains came followed by the late afternoon light and that magical event – a rainbow. This for me is the ultimate SIGN for hope, and peace, and love, and yes the gold that lies at the end. Let us mine this gold and remember, today and everyday, the important of what is right before us. Let us remember what we are here to do and who we are called to be. Let us listen to the media and what the pundants tell us with great scepticism for this is not the truth of the world.

From my philosophical space of spirit this morning, I send you this invitation and ask you to be more conscious of what surrounds you and to create space to communicate with spirit, as you know it, every day. Let this be your guide. We have entered an important era in the evolution of humanity, birthing a new way for each of us to BE in the world.

Until next time,

Betty

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Upstream- Downstream

After a busy weekend of couples coaching followed by an equally busy Monday, Jim and I arrived in our office to find that our internet system had died. Living rurally, access to internet is not what you might imagine when you live in the city. Our reality is that there are places much more remote than us who have better internet access than we do. That said, running a business from your home means, especially in 2012, staying connected with your clients. We were not happy campers.

Of course I was oblivious to the situation initially as I was engaged in other aspects of what we do every day. It was only when I saw Jim’s dismay that I became fully aware. His aura, shall we say, was rather dark, his demeanor abrupt, and his patience non-existent. He was going UPSTREAM and for all the right reasons. It’s just that going upstream does not serve you at all, even when things are frustrating and apparently not going your way.

Jim and I have this agreement that when either of us is going upstream we ask what will it take to go downstream? I know you are wondering what the heck I am talking about so let me explain. When you go upstream you are going against the current which means of course that you consume much more energy and effort. To turn downstream is to go with the flow and to allow yourself to be carried along easily and effortlessly. Upstream also means you are in resistance and when in that state you are focused on what you DO NOT want. And guess what, you just keep getting more of the same. To go downstream is to relax, become conscious of what you want and ask for it, and let the Universe take care of the rest.

As you can imagine, Jim wasn’t immediately open to my downstream suggestion, yet he heard me. I suggested we set some intentions. “Such as?” he quipped.

Here is what I came up with:

~ we are attracting the perfect internet system to support our expanding business
~the installation of the new service will be easy and effortless
~ the new system will be easily maintained and supported by incredible technical assistance.

At this point Jim placed a call to our current provider where upon he learned that they no longer had any technical support available to us and confirmed that indeed our system was no longer operating. Great! Actually this confirmed what we already knew. We could have been angry or simply accept this as an invitation to move on.

The second call was made to a new provider who had informed us several months ago that they would soon have service available in our area. This call proved productive – exactly 6 days earlier the new system had become available and in fact they were just about to contact us as we had been on their waiting list. Two days later their technician arrived and within three hours we were up and running once again – yes, easy and effortless. Finally they have a package specifically for business owners assuring us that they will be here to provide service within 24 hours of a problem. Cool!

DOWNSTREAM!!!!!

What can I tell you – it works. So the next time you feel like you are fighting an uphill battle against someone or something, STOP! It doesn’t work. You need to come up for air, breathe, and change directions. Take a moment to clear the space in your head and replace resistance with what it is you really want. Then simply allow it to unfold and relax, go with the flow, watch what shows up. Jim and I are still learning and the Internet Incident is proof! Ah, an opportunity to practice what we teach. You have to love that!

Paddling downstream….

 

Betty

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Spring Cleaning

I just read an article in the March issue of O magazine called De-clutter Your Life. Specifically the article described Adam Glassman’s challenges in de-cluttering the closets of Gayle King, editor at large for ‘O’. Despite resistance on her part, he helped her purge, (you better sit down for this one) 152 dresses, 77 sweaters, 17 skirts, 12 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of pants, 13 belts, 62 pairs of shoes, and 67 handbags. I found the sheer number of purged items unimaginable as I am pretty sure that I have not owned that number of dresses, etc. over an entire lifetime. De-clutter indeed – and I am left wondering how much still remains in her closets and how much space was created.

In a recent roadSIGNS TV Show, one of our audience members confided that she could not seem to de-clutter her desk because if she did, she feared that her life would no longer have a purpose. The papers, journals, and books piled on her desk and jamming walls of bookcases represented the accumulation of her wisdom and knowledge over a lifetime. Ah! the real issues emerge. You begin to understand that to accumulate ‘stuff’ is more than jamming your physical space full of cloths, boxes, furniture and more, it is about the emotional attachment associated with them and the fear of letting these go. It is as if each item becomes a part of you, and if purged, is like amputating a limb.

Clutter occurs in all domains: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. To de-clutter implies releasing what no longer serves you, that is, what no longer fits, is out of date or is fear based. In releasing you have the opportunity to open space around you filling it with all that is in your highest good. You may not know the specifics of what you want to fill the space with right now. Just be clear that you do not want any backwash from what you have let go of and fill it with what is perfect for you.

Imagine for a moment your spiritual-emotional space and a desire to de-clutter. You might examine the following: the 13 old hurts, 23 resentments, 14 unforgivens (including yourself), 5 fears and the 72 voices that make up the choir – your self-critic’s voice. Man that is a lot to release and were you to decide to work on this de-cluttering initiative, where would you start? At the beginning!

If you can see yourself in this article and you are thinking that perhaps it is time to de-clutter, it may be time for ‘a “Radical Spring Cleaning Fest”. You begin by making a list: Name the old hurts, resentments and unforgivens. Chances are they are intertwined in some way. Imagine how much space they are occupying right now in your emotional-spiritual field. Wow! No wonder life never changes; there is no room for new things to come in as the closet is too full.

I encourage you to consider the following: as much as you want your life to change, very little can shift until you release and de-clutter your emotional-spiritual field. Just as in de-cluttering a closet, it takes time and patience and a strong will to let go. As you do this however, realize that you are creating new space for you to grow and expand, to attract a life which is much more perfect for you.

Once you reach this realization and make the commitment to de-clutter, begin with chewable chunks. Create a ritual. Take two or three of those hurts, resentments and unforgivens and shake hands with them. Bless them as they have offered you important opportunities to learn. Understand that hanging on to them harms no one but you and that you are ready to move forward. Attach them to a helium balloon and lovingly release them to the Universe. See yourself replacing these hurts with beauty, light and healing.

Notice how good this feels. Repeat this process again and again until all those hurts, resentments and unforgivens have been released. Note that some hurts are bigger than others and may need to be released more than once. That’s okay!

Are you ready? Radical Spring Cleaning it is! Watch out for the dust bunnies.

Until next time…

Betty

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Are YOU saying YES to YOU

I have noticed that there are things I really want to attract in life that simply don’t happen and I find myself wondering why? As I pondered this question the other day, a roadSIGN appeared in the form of a question. The question: Am I saying YES to me?

I had to take a step back as I considered my answer. Here I am a coach for others, reminding my clients to be clear on their boundaries, both personal and professional and the importance of saying NO when NO is the right answer. I often use my favorite Jack Canfield quote to facilitate this, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me.” There it is, saying YES to me, but am I ?.

Here is what I have noticed. I don’t give myself permission to do lots of things, partly because I am a bit of a ‘doing’ addict and I like to keep busy and partly because, like everyone else, I still get caught up in what needs to be done. I also have an extraordinary sense of urgency meaning that things generally need to be done NOW. I get in my own way and my desire to go to the new Yoga classes, or to make time for a daily workout, or to simply go to the meditation room to relax or read, often goes by the way. I have not learned to say YES to the ‘being’ side of me nor have I learned to say NO to the ‘doing’ me. What a complicated paradox this poses!

I know I am not alone in this situation, that those of you who are reading this are probably nodding your heads as you share my conundrum. After considerable reflection, I have decided that this is what we need to learn. Not only do we need to be clear on our boundaries with others we need to also set some boundaries with ourselves. You can’t have work-life balance, which seems to be the catch phrase recently, without reigning ourselves in. Only then can we understand what we want to say YES to and then creating space for those important YES’s to actually happen.

For me this means stepping away from the office by 5:30 p.m. at the latest so I can head to my workout area or putting those Yoga classes right in my schedule so that the time is reserved. It means saying YES to the trips I want to make or dedicating time to the other items on my ‘bucket list’, knowing that without the YES it surely won’t happen. It means that when I simply want to sit down, catch my breath and read for a few minutes, I simply allow myself to do so.

Here was my other wake-up call and roadSIGN – a good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ALS. This is a progressive illness commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which slowly and insidiously steals your life from you. I am thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. I received an e-mail from her the other day as she and her husband have decided to travel for the next three months before the time comes when she will not be able to do so. I asked myself, “what am I waiting for?”

What are you waiting for? What is it you really want? Are you ready to say YES to yourself and give yourself permission to do and be the things you most want in your life? If not now, when? Only YOU can make it happen. It is your life and whether you believe it or not, you are the boss of you.

Okay, I hear you, I am also guilty. Here is my pledge: I intend to start today by honoring my need for ME FIRST time. I am putting at least 2 yoga classes in my schedule for next week. I am reviewing my ‘bucket list’ this weekend and determining which of the items are my first priority. I am putting my trip to Baffin Island into the calendar. And I am dedicating at least fifteen minutes everyday to read. It may not be everything I want to say YES to and it is the first chewable chunk.

What are you saying YES to? Times a wastin’ as we say – no more hesitating.

Until next time…

 

Betty

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I have noticed that there are things I really want to attract in life that simply don’t happen and I find myself wondering why? As I pondered this question the other day, a roadSIGN appeared in the form of a question. The question: Am I saying YES to me?

I had to take a step back as I considered my answer. Here I am a coach for others, reminding my clients to be clear on their boundaries, both personal and professional and the importance of saying NO when NO is the right answer. I often use my favorite Jack Canfield quote to facilitate this, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me.” There it is, saying YES to me, but am I ?

Here is what I have noticed. I don’t give myself permission to do lots of things, partly because I am a bit of a ‘doing’ addict and I like to keep busy and partly because, like everyone else, I still get caught up in what needs to be done. I also have an extraordinary sense of urgency meaning that things generally need to be done NOW. I get in my own way and my desire to go to the new Yoga classes, or to make time for a daily workout, or to simply go to the meditation room to relax or read, often goes by the way. I have not learned to say YES to the ‘being’ side of me nor have I learned to say NO to the ‘doing’ me. What a complicated paradox this poses!

I know I am not alone in this situation, that those of you who are reading this are probably nodding your heads as you share my conundrum. After considerable reflection, I have decided that this is what we need to learn. Not only do we need to be clear on our boundaries with others we need to also set some boundaries with ourselves. You can’t have work-life balance, which seems to be the catch phrase recently, without reigning ourselves in. Only then can we understand what we want to say YES to and then creating space for those important YES’s to actually happen.

For me this means stepping away from the office by 5:30 p.m. at the latest so I can head to my workout area or putting those Yoga classes right in my schedule so that the time is reserved. It means saying YES to the trips I want to make or dedicating time to the other items on my ‘bucket list’, knowing that without the YES it surely won’t happen. It means that when I simply want to sit down, catch my breath and read for a few minutes, I simply allow myself to do so.

Here was my other wake-up call and roadSIGN – a good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ALS. This is a progressive illness commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which slowly and insidiously steals your life from you. I am thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. I received an e-mail from her the other day as she and her husband have decided to travel for the next three months before the time comes when she will not be able to do so. I asked myself, “what am I waiting for?”

What are you waiting for? What is it you really want? Are you ready to say YES to yourself and give yourself permission to do and be the things you most want in your life? If not now, when? Only YOU can make it happen. It is your life and whether you believe it or not, you are the boss of you.

Okay, I hear you, I am also guilty. Here is my pledge: I intend to start today by honoring my need for ME FIRST time. I am putting at least 2 yoga classes in my schedule for next week. I am reviewing my ‘bucket list’ this weekend and determining which of the items are my first priority. I am putting my trip to Baffin Island into the calendar. And I am dedicating at least fifteen minutes everyday to read. It may not be everything I want to say YES to and it is the first chewable chunk.

What are you saying YES to? Times a wastin’ as we say – no more hesitating.

Until Next time…

Betty

 

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Creative Destruction

I received an e-mail just the other day from a former coaching client where she shared that she was engaged in creative destruction. This conjured up all sorts of images for me as I imagined what creative destruction might actually mean. And there was a part of me that said, YES, I get it! I have been in the process of moving from floor to floor in our house, ripping things apart, purging the accumulated stuff of years gone by, de-cluttering everything I can in preparation for a move to our new office. I unleashed my inner dragon – just ask my poor husband who for the most part simply stayed out of my way. This is not the first time he has witnessed my creative destruction as this has occurred with every significant move we have had.

In the notion of space management (December roadSIGNS column), I have learned that despite my best efforts, paper, books, files, binders, office materials, you name it, simply accumulate. And, I have learned that once I begin the process in one part of my house, a domino effect occurs. Example: Move old office, furniture and contents to new office. Re-paint and clean old office and move coaching/meditation room to that location. Clean old coaching/meditation room and convert to third bedroom. Build ‘murphy bed’ in new coaching room to allow for conversion into forth bedroom. Whew! Now bear in mind that at each step of the way the creative destruction part involves assessing just how much you are going to move and what needs to be purged first. All in all I have released seven large recycle bins of paper and eight boxes of books. This plus all the things that were simply thrown away has created a much lighter household.

Now all I have to do is apply these same lessons to the rest of my life. Care to join me? If you do here are the questions I have been asking myself:

1. What are you prepared to discard that really doesn’t fit with your current picture of you? Consider any limiting beliefs you have about yourself, any fears that are old and dusty, any messages from parents, teachers or others which are out of date and simply need to be purged.

2. What stories have you filed away that feels like a ball and chain around your ankle? Consider people and /or situations you have not forgiven and where forgiveness is long overdue or situations which you feel you did not handle well and need to forgive yourself.

3. What relationships need to be ended? Consider those people in your life who criticize you or do not support you or people you simply don’t connect with as they have different values than you have. Let them go.

4. What is it you want to engage in that really fuels your passion? Whether this is work or play, begin to assess how and where you spend your time and decide whether this is time well spent. Consider how the activity makes you feel. If it doesn’t light you up, find something that does. Be curious and experiment.

I can see that in examining these questions I have a few critical decisions to make myself, and with the beginning of another new year – what perfect timing. Here we are in 2012 where the spiritual gurus are predicting the end of the world as we know it (a pretty heavy thought I admit). Without understanding fully what that means, I have decided, like my client, that a little creative destruction will do the trick and force me to simply be more conscious of the choices I am making today and in my tomorrows. I invite each of you to do the same and to wonder what is up for you to change or shift in your life, to release anything that no longer serves you and to make space for all that is in your highest good.

Watch out world, here we come!

Until next  time

Betty

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New Beginnings

It seems to me that each new year is a new beginning. I don’t know why I continue to fall for this as, in reality, everyday is a new beginning. Yet as we all celebrate another new year and the arrival of 2012, I feel a sense of urgency. Another year has passed. It is 2012 – OMG with all the predictions of the end of the world as we know it! I don’t want to get caught up in it.  I will be, according to the calendar, 62 later this year and time is a wastin’.

I just watched an amazing video on Ted talks by Jane Fonda, http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_fonda_life_s_third_act.html#.Twhl05gv3UA.email. I am listening to her speak about the third act which begins at age 60 and again, had another reality check. How is it possible I am in my third act when in so many ways it feels like the first act. I think sometimes we need to live life backwards, that we miss that life really begins in so many ways at 60. Yes that is what Fonda was saying as well, that the third act is that time when we get to really understand the many lessons of this lifetime and perhaps finally apply the wisdom we have gained. And I am there.

I would not repeat my younger years for anything and I cannot think of a time in my life when I had more curiosity and energy for what is yet to come. Over the last few months Jim and I have even built a new and amazing office giving us the space to create, to dream, to expand and to live full-out. This is what we want to bring into out lives and our work.

Back to 2012, I have with discipline sat down and recorded my intentions for the year although I allowed myself the flexibility of receiving them versus forcing them this year. Over the last 10 days or so I have entered them into my journal, usually after a morning conversation with spirit or following a call with my coach, the Divine Miss Patty Walters. Intentions are truly the center of my being and my life at this point. They give me direction, keep me grounded,  and relieve any worry I have about what’s to come.

And this is the state of affairs in my neighbourhood at the moment. This year my intention is to share my writing with greater numbers of people, the blog and of course our books. And so it is,

Until next time

Betty

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Space Management

Throughout the fall Jim and I have been in the process of renovating the space above our garage to serve as a new office  for roadSIGNS. The process has been a relatively painless one as we have had amazing builders and the project was not directly in the house. Everything was running smoothly until we actually began moving furniture, books and files. After almost 15 years in business there was a lot of stuff in our space.

I like to use the term space management instead of time management. Space management is about assessing what takes up the space in your life. This can be in your physical field, such as those cluttered closets, basements and garages that are difficult to navigate and in which you can be buried if you are not careful. Likewise, we need to assess our emotional – spiritual space and relationship space. Now what would these refer to?

Emotional – Spiritual Space:
This is where I ask you to consider the movie that is playing in your head and/or the music playing in your ear. Without realizing it you may be filling your space with a spiritually depleting message about who you are. The script and the movie portrays you as less than perfect, in fact flawed, undeserving, unworthy – you get the picture. With a new year approaching, I am suggesting that this movie needs re-writing. It is time for you to de-clutter those unwanted messages from your self-critic and begin shaking hands with your coach. The script, in my view, should rave about who you are, your uniqueness and what amazing things you have achieved. The script lifts you, makes you feel good and brings you into a joyful relationship with you.

Relationship Space:
Just in time for the holiday season, it is time to ask yourself what relationships take up the space in your life? Oh those! Yep, who is it you truly love to spend time with?

I know, the holiday season is all about obligation and spending time with Uncle Joe and Aunt Molly who you really wish you weren’t related to. What do you do with those less than perfect relationships that push their way into your space?

This is where the tough decisions lie and where your ‘no-how’ comes in. First, decide who you really want to play with in this lifetime. Take the time to record the qualities and characteristics of your perfect friend/relative/colleague. Learn to say NO to those less than perfect people in your life or at least decide to put limitations on how much space they occupy. Believe it or not, you have the choice. And yes, you may offend a few folks along the way, and that is their stuff not yours. The thing is, wouldn’t you rather fill your relationship space with your favorite people?

As I was de-cluttering my physical space in preparation for the big move, I threw out boxes of paper, all of them meaningful at one point in my life and yet not important now. As humans we do tend to hold on too tightly at times. I find myself wondering about that and why that is so.

As you approach the holiday season, ask yourself what you want your holiday space filled with. My suggestions:
– spend the time with the people you really love and who love you
– spend less money on gifts and convert this into quality time with others
– assess how much stuff is already in your space and wonder if you really need more
– be generous with yourself and fill your emotional-spiritual space with your dreams, your visions, and the celebration for who you are.
– this is a perfect time to de-clutter your physical space and share forward extra food, clothes, bedding, furniture, toys or books to those in need. Agape or Baldwin House would welcome your contributions.

Happy Holidays!

Until next time…

 

Betty

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Make Procrastination Work for YOU

We all have those moments in our lives where we procrastinate. Chances are that, when this happens, you find yourself being very critical of your ability to put things off. I want to offer you another strategy for dealing with procrastination; one which I believe can help you to make your procrastination habits work for you.

Understand it First:

Before you jump into criticizing yourself, take a step back and understand what is behind your procrastination. Here are some of the common reasons I have uncovered with my coaching clients and some proposed solutions.

1. You don’t understand the goal or desired outcome of the activity you are involved in. This may happen because you are not clear yourself or because the person assigning you the task has not been clear in delegating to you. In this case, slow down and ask yourself what it is you really want, get clear on your specific outcome and what you want as a result. If the task has been delegated to you, sit with the other person and clarify the expectations.

2. You are a perfectionist. When you are playing the perfectionist game you end up stalling. Perfectionism requires that everything is perfect before you begin, all your ducks need to be lined up! Because you also want a perfect outcome, you throw yourself into overwhelm. The cycle is a vicious one! To deal with perfectionism, break your goal or task down into ‘chewable chunks’ and deal with that bite-size piece first. This helps to manage the overwhelm and minimize the planning required. Once you experience success with the first bite, you will have the confidence to move forward.

3. You lack confidence or the no-how to perform the task at hand. This is not uncommon especially when starting something new. A great strategy here is to remind yourself that you already have a great deal of knowledge; you are just applying it in a different way. Take what you know and apply this to the new activity. Bite off that first chewable chunk and start one step at a time.

4. You feel like a fraud. You hesitate to continue or start something new for fear that someone else will think you do not have the necessary education or expertise. Again, using the previous strategy, remember your experience and your accomplishments and remind yourself that you are simply building on this. Feeling like a fraud is usually your ‘stuff’; your sense of what others think is generally not valid.

5. You have previously had a negative experience with something similar. The memory of that ‘failure’ is haunting you and you just can’t get started. This is where you manage your fear and shift it into setting an intention for success. For example, I have all the competence and skill I require to be a success in this project. This is a positive growth experience for me. The last experience taught me all I need to know.

6. What you have been asked to do places you out of integrity with yourself. It is not unusual that other people ask you to do something that is contrary to your core values. If you are sensing a growing uneasiness with a request, it is time to exercise your NO-How and simply refuse to take it on. This is where hesitation works in your favor – you are exercising your judgment.

7. There is fear somewhere down the line and it is not immediately obvious. Fear is a common thing and it can be fear of failure, success, or the unknown. If this is behind your procrastination, take the time to examine what your fear is. Ask yourself this important question, “what is the worst thing that can happen as a result?” When you name the worst case scenario it usually minimizes the risk as you realize the ‘worst’ is not really that bad (and generally doesn’t even happen).

Facing procrastination and staring it down is one of the best things you can do for your life and your business. It helps you to understand what is behind it and take the time to strategize just how to approach it. You do not have to stay in the procrastination zone when you take this approach as, understanding it, helps you conquer it and indeed, make it work for YOU.

As Ottawa psychologist and business consultant Nancy Morris teaches, learn to use procrastination to solve the issues you are currently facing and understand why it is happening. Procrastination is an opportunity. From this point forward you do not have to complain about it or criticize yourself for it. Simply take the time to analyze it and when you understand it, create a strategy for moving forward.

Until next time…

Betty