Category: Intentions

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What’s Your Symphony?

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common–this is my symphony.”

William Henry Channing

This quote arrived the morning after a powerful Coaching Circle where participants were asked to present their dreams to one another and explore what it would mean to stretch their wings. The result was an interesting discussion on how we are so very capable of subtly yet insidiously capable of sabotaging ourselves.

FEAR
Without recognizing it consciously, most of us fear sharing our dreams. Sharing makes it real, gives the dream fuel and heightens the chance that the dream will come true. And this is the conflict, we have dreams yet we dare not dream.

As Marianne Williamson writes in her famous poem, “Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”. It is our power and the realization that we are powerful, that holds us back. We have been trained to live and be small. Sharing our dreams enlarges them, adds fuel to them, makes them real and occasionally, makes us shrink. Is it time to stop shrinking?

Conditions
Part of our shrinking is our belief that although we want the dream we may not be ready. Here is a little known law, The Law of Right Timing. Many of us have come to understand and practice the Law of Attraction. What we have forgotten is that the Universe always works on our behalf and has our highest good in mind, That means that what we are asking for, our dream, will arrive at the perfect time for us. That may be instantly, tomorrow or three years from now.

If we can move beyond our fears and into our dreams while releasing the how and the timing to the hands of the Universe, perhaps we will finally begin manifesting that which we truly desire.

It’s Rarely Material
Although much of the Law of Attractions early messaging, through vehicles such as The Secret (Movie and book) focused on manifesting financial abundance, my experience is that dreams are rarely attached to the material. Dreams are more about how we choose to live in the world, what we want to accomplish and how we chose to serve. This was best articulated by one of our circle participants who shared, “I don’t need a lot. It’s not material things I want to own. I want enough financial abundance to cover my costs, go shopping for a new dress occasionally and enjoy a dinner out from time to time. My dream is so much more than this.”

What is Your Symphony?
Have I convinced YOU – have I convinced myself?

Dare I dream?

Dare I share them?

Dare I allow them?

Dare I embrace them?

peace John Lennon

I dream of playing on the world stage as a speaker and facilitator,
 reaching out to people around the world with what I know to be true –
that when each of us makes peace with ourselves and steps into our power and our dream,
we change the world.

I invite you to hold my dream, my symphony!

Will you share yours with me?

Until next time….

Betty

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Finding Your Tribe

In the months since we began facilitating coaching circles, one of the unanticipated outcomes of the circles has been the building of community. I’m not sure why, but it had not occurred to me just how alone people have been feeling. Certainly I have noticed it myself. I just assumed that because I choose to live rurally now, that being alone was my new way of life.

With the start of each coaching circle, we ask participants to share with us their intentions for what they want to gain from the experience. Inevitably several of the participants mention that they are looking for community. Specifically they want to connect to like-minded individuals who, like themselves, are choosing to step on the path of self-discovery and shape their life differently.

As facilitators we have learned that the coaching circle is a transformative experience, partly due to the coaching and largely due to the sharing of experience of the individual participants. Participants relate to the feelings, thoughts and experiences of others. Suddenly they realize that they are not alone in those sometimes dark places and that their struggles to live their life differently are shared by others.

In a recent blog posting from colleague Lianne Bridges, www.shiftvillage.com, Lianne shared her experience of attending the Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco, “To be in the presence of conscious individuals is awe-inspiring….What was so amazing about this conference were the sixteen-hundred people from all walks of life and four corners of the world who shared one main perspective – the strong desire to use their expertise and gifts to better the world.”

Lianne also refers to community as one’s tribe. By her definition, tribe does not necessarily refer only to people who are bound to you by familial, geographic, political, cultural or even racial ties, but also includes people who share your closely held beliefs or world views.

Finding our tribe, our community, may be one of the healthiest and most essential gifts we can give ourselves. People do feel alone. The isolation people are experiencing is a secondary effect of our technological prowess. We have grown attached to the I-phones, Blackberries and other gadgets that give us the illusion of being connected. It is however superficial – words with no depth, no real meaning, no eye to eye contact.

We have also lost many of the social structures that once connected us – the church communities, the service clubs, the back yard BBQ’s. Is it that life has simply become too busy?

Whatever the reason, the loss of these social systems has left people searching for ways to connect.

Developing community, or finding your tribe as Lianne has suggested, has become important. It is part of feeling whole and consciously connected to a shared meaning and an opportunity to learn more about you through the eyes of others.

So where do you start; how do you find your tribe?

  • It begins with reaching out to others whom you sense have a similar desire or who may want to rally around a shared cause.
  • It begins with your desire to understand yourself and to share the experience of personal discovery with others.
  • It begins by being clear about who you actually want to ‘BE’ with and taking the time to describe who would be perfect for you at this time in your life.
  • It begins by being open-hearted, generous and kind – first with yourself, then with others.  You can only attract these kinds of companions when you give it to self-first.
  • It begins by stepping out of your comfort zone and reaching out to others, or perhaps signing up for a program which you believe will attract others you want to be with.
  • It begins by trusting your  heart more than your head, listening to your intuition when you encounter  others and your deep sense of knowing they are a perfect companion.

friends

There is an opportunity to begin to notice the opportunities that may already exist in your community. Who around you shares common values, desires and perhaps stories. Take the first step – put out a call to your friends, colleagues and acquaintances and start a conversation. Create a gathering around a book, a question, a theme.

You may find your tribe!

Until next time…

Betty

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WORK or J.O.B.

I was inspired this morning after listening to an interview with a favorite author of mine, Simon Sinek, who wrote the book ‘Start with WHY’. In the interview he began by saying that when you do something that you love, it’s called passion. When you work at something you don’t love however, it’s called stress.

This for me defines the difference between your WORK versus your J.O.B. Your work is connected to your ‘WHY’, your sense of purpose or mission, or what you want to stand for in this lifetime. It is rooted in your early years, something that you are deeply connected with and something that you felt would make a difference in the world.

As I think back, my earliest memories are linked to playing in my back yard, lining up my dolls and teaching them what I then knew to be the important lessons of life. Even at the early age of ten I knew that I wanted to influence the world in a way that allowed others to believe in themselves and to see the beauty and power of who they are.

Isn’t it interesting that you can know that so young and somewhere along the way lose track of it. Why does that happen? You learn more, life becomes more complicated and you lose sight of that simple truth, your all important work. Then you find a J.O.B. – a Justifiable Occupation or Business, which pays you a good salary but, (and here is the rub) does not light you up. It is simply a job. It is not connected with your passion and you lose sight of who you really are.

Can Your J.O.B. be your WORK?
Yes. Skeptically you may look at what you are currently doing and think that there can never be a connection between what you are currently doing and your passion. Frankly you don’t really know, at least not until you take the time to search back to your roots and consider what is really important to you. In our roadSIGNS work we call this your Personal Guidance System which is formed by your core values, the guiding principle by which you choose to live, and your ‘WHY’, what you really stand for and who, as a result, you choose to be.

Only in remembering your ‘WHY’ can you understand whether or not this is connected to your J.O.B. Those workplaces which truly value their employees will understand that any time an employee can connect their ‘WHY’ to the ‘WHY’ of the organization, passion and performance are unleashed.

WHY, How and what
In his book Sinek describes the Golden Circle. Like a bull’s eye with WHY in the center, the next circle is your how and the third circle your what. You will notice that most of you focus on what you do and how you do it, both in your work and other aspects of your life. Ask yourself if this is where you currently play? What would change or be different if you took the time to re-connect with your ‘WHY’, your sense of true purpose.

Living Authentically
Living authentically requires consciousness and courage. First it requires that you actually slow yourself down and step off the treadmill which has become your life. Secondly you must ask yourself what is really important to you, what contribution are you here to make to the world around you. Everyone wants to make a difference and reflecting on this allows you to claim your unique desire to change or shift the world in some way.

Next is courage. It is one thing to become aware of what lights you up, your ‘WHY’, and it is another to live it. There are plenty of naysayers out there who will put you down once you stand up and start living your ‘WHY’. I refer to them as crabs. Crab fishermen know that you never have to put a lid on a crab bucket because as soon as one crab tries to escape, the others pull him back in. It takes courage to live from your ‘WHY’ and ignore the crabs.

Crabs and Other Creatures

Take the time to step back and discover your work by remembering your ‘WHY’. This has the capacity to release your passion and we sure could use more of that in the world!

Until next time…

Betty Healey

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We have launched!

After weeks of concentrated effort we have launched our new website for roadSIGNS (www.roadsigns.ca) . I have no illusions now that creating a quality website happens easily. This is the first significant overhaul we have completed for several years and one that was badly needed. With the changes in our focus that have occurred through the years, our previous website was not supporting us.

Being Attractive
In the work Jim and I teach regarding Strategic Attraction, we have become clear regarding what we want. Although I am tempted from time to time to interfere, I am learning to leave the ‘HOW” the wants unfold up to the Universe. I am constantly schooling myself in the art of Patience and Trust as a result! An important part of Strategic Attraction however, is being the Lighthouse, helping people find you.; hence the website, with all the proper SEO behind the scenes, and clear attention to the details within the content.

A Labor of Love
While I occasionally forgot, writing the new content was a labor of love. As we launch our new conversation about Conscious Communication, writing helped me to understand what it is and how we want to share this with clients.

What is Conscious Communication
Conscious Communication is the process of learning to be fully present, aware and mindful both with yourself and others. The process is an essential one for understanding yourself, leveraging the best of who you are and ultimately, connecting effectively with others.

It is rare that individuals consider how they are connecting with themselves. They are unaware of the elevator music playing in their ears and the subliminal messages they are feeding themselves. Building on the new research in Positive Psychology, we are learning that these internal conversations must be brought into consciousness if we want to change them. We call this from Critic to Coach, re-programming the messages of your inner critic, the voice that puts you down, into that of your Inner Coach, that which lifts you up.

Once you begin to change your inner conversation, you show up differently in the eyes of others. You are visible and you have the opportunity to engage others differently, whether this is in conversation or simply in who you are being. This is the other side of Conscious Communication – how you are with others and who you are choosing to be from one moment to the next.

What’s in it for YOU?
If you want to feel better about yourself and think more positive thoughts, I invite you into this conversation.   Stay tuned for upcoming posts and I invite you to check us out at www.roadsigns.ca.

roadSIGNSUntil next time…

Betty

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Create Your New Story

With the approach of 12-21-12 I am feeling a heightened sense of awareness. My nighst have been orchestrated by a dreamscape that has had me travelling around the world. It has been chaotic and occasionally energy depleting.

I cannot seem to make sense of it all either although one dream stuck. I am driving down a very narrow road, a steep rock face off to the right. There are road crews all around, apparently working at widening the road. I can see areas where the rock face is pulling apart, about to give way. As I look closer to examine the surface, the rock face turns into a series of tombstones.

When I awake the dream seems more of a vision and I am left wondering what it meant, what’s the metaphor. I shared the dream with Jim and then my coach Patty, exploring the imagery. Here is what emerged: the tombstones represent all the Old Stories I have travelled with in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.

In my work I have come to understand that Old Stories are frequently riddled with limiting beliefs, the voices of my inner critics, assumptions and judgments, and so much more – a complex web of stuff that simply no longer serves me. And so as I approach the New Age, a time when I pray we find peace on earth, I am tasked with making peace within. And who among us is not travelling the same path?

This is not news to me. The vision simply emphasizes that now, more than ever, a sift within me is important. I want to enter the portal of 12-21-12 with a clean slate, dismantling the clutter of many lifetimes, releasing the stories that no longer serve me and giving myself space to receive all that is in my highest good.

Here is my plan:

1)      Although I have done this many times, I plan to record the contents of my Old Stories and burn them. Ashes to Ashes….

2)      A deep meditation, filling the open space with breath, possibilities, peace, joy and prosperity

3)      A card spread, probably using OSHO Cards, guided by an intentional question to be defined

4)      Integration – a wee bit of journaling

5)      Celebration – a little dancing, chanting, singing, yelping… you get the picture

Here is one big intention for me in the New Year, to lighten up, and live from my heart more. This is my journey and my work at the moment.

My wish for you: Wonder about your Old Stories and begin to create your New Story. Remember that you do create your life – it begins with being clear about what you want. De-clutter – take a look at anything that gets in your way and find a way to send it off with the wind. Be your own best friend and guide.

first Love Yourself

Until next time…

Betty

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Failure is NOT an Option!

None of us wants to admit that we have failed at something and yet, in my view, failure is not an option. It will happen at some point in your life. So perhaps the issue is not whether you fail or not but how you deal with failure when it happens.

Let me propose an alternate thesis to what you can do when you fail versus what you most likely have been doing. Most of you will travel the path of self-recrimination coupled with ample doses of self-criticism. The option – treat failure as a time of celebration.

Before you throw something at me, let me explain the process. Take a moment and turn back the clock of time. Remember the many great lessons you have learned from life. As you do a quick life review, recall the two or three greatest lessons you have learned from your life experience to date. Ask yourself this: ” Did I learn this from a great success or from a significant failure?”

My guess is, that if you are really honest with yourself, failure will be the word that comes up. Here are some of my examples:

–      That time in university where partying and play overtook my desire to study and I almost failed my year. I had never faced the possibility of failure before –it shook me to the core when that ’D’ appeared on my transcript. Suddenly I had a new-found respect for the need to study and my desire to complete my degree.

–      Or that time not so long ago when I accepted a full-time job even when my intuition was telling me not to go there. My intuition was right – the job was not a perfect fit. Giving it up after 9 months felt like failure (I don’t give up!) and I learned some very valuable lessons. I remembered why I had started my own business and that I did not want to work for anyone else any more. I gained some extraordinary business wisdom which I have since applied to my own organization.

–      Or that time where Jim and I drifted too far apart in our relationship and almost lost our way. This may have been my strongest sense of failure ever. I really believe is us and our marriage. Facing this failure down taught me everything I needed to know about re-building our relationship to where we are today.

There have also been numerous business failures – poor investments of money and time, bad decisions regarding training approaches – the list go on.

Failure makes us human. More importantly, other than offering us life’s most important lessons, it also offers contrast.

In ME FIRST vocabulary contrast is what you need to have so you can decide what you really want. Failure represents what it is you don’t want to repeat or to attract on a regular basis. With the experience of failure you can turn things around and define what it is you want to fill your life with. I enjoy looking at my own life through the lens of, “Well that was less than perfect’ and then imagining what it is I would rather have.

Failure is just like that – it shows you what you don’t want. Here’s the good news – you get to choose again!.

That said are you ready now to bless your failures? Okay, maybe that is going too far so let me suggest a slight modification. Here is it: Everything you have experienced in life is perfect.

Still a stretch?

I’ll explain – you are the sum total of all of your life experiences. You are the person you are today because of what you have experienced which includes both successes and failures. If you agree that life’s’ great lessons stem from your failures, then they are perfect events in your life. They taught you what you needed to know. There no longer is any need to feel guilt or remorse over something that happened in the past. Simply chalk it up to experience and be grateful it happened.

Here’s the deal. If you want to learn and grow and expand and reach for more, failure is NOT an option. If you can learn to bless the failures, see them as lessons and laugh at yourself a little more, you are going to be far healthier and happier. The thing is, you get to choose how you respond. Choose well for YOU!

Until next time,

Betty

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I Love My Work

Just coming off a ME FIRST Retreat and feeling the great sense of satisfaction that I derive from facilitating these events. On this occasion Jim and I also had friends, Carol and Wayne present as they prepare to eventually facilitate their own ME FIRST events. This is an intention come true for us – only weeks ago we completed our Strategic Attraction Plan for the upcoming year. Part of our intentionality is attracting perfect partners for collaboration and perfect ME FIRST facilitators. The plan is working.

Despite my experience with setting intentions, I am always surprised when what I ask for shows up. I love it and Jim and I have this little ditty we chant when the SIGNS appear that simply goes ‘it’s working!’

We have learned that to set intentions is one thing and paying attention and seeing the SIGNS another. Certainly paying attention is equally important as what would the point be in setting intentions if you don’t actually follow them. Of course there is the third phase of ‘No Tension’ – gotta love this step. It happens when what you have asked for shows up in a form that surprises you and you look at it and mutter, “I don’t think so!” Guess what – that’s the wrong response.

This is where I have forced myself to be curious and darn if the Universe doesn’t know better than I do what is in my highest good. I just don’t always like it and yet, in the end it is always perfect. I think that perhaps there is a great cosmic joke in there somewhere.

We are vibrational energy

 

In this weekend’s retreat I believe we did some of our best work in teaching ME FIRST, especially that part that says that everything you want to change or shift outside yourself begins with ME FIRST. This part of the retreat program allows each participant to see the effects that their inner dialogue has, the choice of living with one’s inner critic versus one’s inner coach.

Consider this – you do not have to say anything or do anything, all you need to do is be the vibration you wish to be. Remember Gandhi’s quote, ‘Be the change you wish to see’. Note the emphasis on ‘BE’.

Imagine for yourself walking into any situation you have to face and simply being love, peace, joy at the core of your being. Through a variety of techniques we are able to demonstrate to ME FIRST Participants the impact this has on your environment and those around you. You can’t see it – you experience it. It is a vibrational energy that emits from the core of who you are and it is powerful.

Oh, I do go on – it just gives me chills to remember the effect this has when we teach this part of the program. And it is why I love my work.

 Good old Dr. Suess – who knew that he taught ME FIRST principles. So much of what we are teaching is that you get to choose your life. So few people realize this it seems. Once you appreciate that your life is a sum of the choices you have made, and that you can change the course of your life with different choices, you settle into a position of personal power. Oh, and by the way, this is something I have to remind myself of everyday – the choice is mine.

Enough rambling for now. Looking forward to the next ME FIRST Retreat in Ottawa which will be co-facilitated by Wayne and Carol. I am handing over the reigns (and that may take discipline on my part!).

To all of you, you get to choose your thoughts, words and feelings – choose well!

 

Until next time…

Betty

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On Living

Every two weeks Jim and I are leading a Coaching Circle. We began this program during the summer as a way of reaching more clients and offering them a coaching experience. It is different from a one-on-one coaching experience as circle participants also hear the stories others share and learn through the shared experience. It has been a miracle in my view, as we see the transformation of the group and each individual member – the shining faces, the energy shift, the realization that none of us are alone and that life is a shared experience.

In our discussions last evening, several members shared that they have recently lost friends, have friends recently diagnosed with serious life threatening illness or are living with illness themself. The notice was that often people don’t start really living until there is a threat of dying. Illness may not be the only trigger, it could be an accident, aging, or a significant life event.Whatever the root cause, it seems to be a common issue for we humans – we need to be awakened.

So I am wondering what it is about the human experience that encourages us to be complacent and to take so much for granted; why we need those wake-up calls to really start living. Certainly most of our circle participants have experienced a wake-up call in one form or another and still we slip back into that complacent place. What can we do to prevent this slip/slide – what is it we can do to stay awake – to live?

We have been introducing our clients to what we call Conscious Communication. Understanding that communication resides at all levels, that is communication with self, your higher power and then others, conscious communication means communication from an awakened state. It implies being alive and present, being intentional and clear, being tuned in to self and others; it means raising the bar significantly on how we have been living with ourself and others for most of our life.

Am I there yet? NO. And it is where I want to be. My fear is that with increasing separation, because of social media and the lack of face to face interactions these days, that we will grow not just complacent but unskilled in the basics of communication never mind conscious communication. So I write this as an invitation to each of you to reach out today to the important others in your life and step away from the computer and into the coffee shop. Create more opportunities for those face to face conversations – they are richer.

Become consciously aware of the conversation you are having with yourself – is your critic’s voice singing loudly in your ear or is your inner coach feeding you these days.

As you sit with another, are you in love or judgment? Turn on the love channel and be clear on how you want to be with others – set intentions for your relationship rather than leaving it up to the great ‘whatever’.

If you are in an intimate relationship, set time aside to really talk. Be compassionate and caring of the other – they are only human. It is easy to take life partners for granted – I know I both live and work with mine 24-7. It is important to ask the great questions and to listen deeply to the answers; to seek to understand the other person before judging or assuming.

All of this in my view is LIVING although there is much more to this conversation.

Again last evening we took time with the group to have them define and claim their core values. From that conscious place, the take away from this activity is to now start being those values and holding yourself to these consciously.

I know there is much more to share and I am curious about your responses and thoughts. Let me know. I leave you with this simple question – Are you living?

Until next time

Betty

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Gratitude

Circle of friends on our back deck

It is the day before Canadian Thanksgiving. I have taken a few moments before preparing supper to consider the day ahead and to enumerate a few of the things for which I have gratitude. It is not difficult – good health, great friends, family, a spirit community, our glorious Tigh Shee now painted with the many hues of fall, amazing work, and of course, three felines who love us unconditionally.

Princess Cleo

I am wondering what it is about the human experience that allows us to forget all these gifts, all these sources of abundance, in the day-to-day. Busy-ness takes its toll, not just in stealing our breath but in creating amnesia regarding the important things in life.

Last evening and again this afternoon I had the privilege of officiating two weddings. I love that moment when the groom is standing next to me in anticipation, the music starts and the guests stand and the wedding party enters. As the bride begins down the aisle and her eyes find her groom, you can feel the magic in the air, the love and the promise of life ahead. At that moment I say a quiet blessing for the couple, wishing for them all I have experienced in marriage, the great and the challenging, and the will to stay the course. Marriage is an abundant experience when you allow it to be. I hate to see it trivialized.

I am meandering and I am thinking that the kitchen is calling me. To all my Canadian friends and family, Happy Thanksgiving. To my American friends, happy Columbus day, and to everyone else simply be happy!

Happiness

 

Until next time…

Betty

 

 

 

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Reflections on Surrendering

It is Sunday morning – the last Sunday of September 2012. As I lay in bed this morning, indulging in a few blissful moments alone, I took an inventory of the abundance that I live in. Gratitude filled my heart as I appreciated Jim (now out playing hockey), Tasha, Cleo and Max, our feline clan, Tigh Shee, our wonderful home and property that we have co-created with Spirit over the last 12 years, and for the work I have been called to do and be. The are the precious moments of life. Basking in gratitude relieves me of any anxiety or stress I feel for what is to come.

Tigh Shee Sign – installed Sept. 22, 2012

 

A few months ago friends of mine did a presentation on FEAR and I was reminded that an apt acronym for FEAR is Forgetting that Everything is All Right. And I do forget. So I have started asking myself these questions in my quest to surrender:

  • Where am I right now?
  • Is everything all right?
  • Is what I am fretting about happening at this moment?
  • What is happening now?

As I walk through these and sometimes some other related questions I realize how perfect things actually are. Worry always lives in the future even though it exists in our thoughts today. And (oh-oh!) worry is also attractive – if we focus on it, it will happen.

In my conversations with self and Spirit this morning, I realized that much of what I have been engaged in is shifting, in transition, and I understood that like everything else that has happened in my life, it must be for a reason. The times are changing. Energy is evolving. I am being called to grow and expand the work I am engaged in.

I have a strong platform to build on with our ME FIRST Programs and it is clear that this is to be protected and yet there are new learnings on the horizon. For example, this ‘surrender‘ thing! It is a call for me to live more from more heart, to step fully into trusting my accrued wisdom and my intuition, to begin learn, then teach, new strategies for being in our physical bodies.

Just the other day a friend asked me what the next book would be. I said I had no idea and then yesterday the pot began to bubble. I am not sure yet and I know it has something to do with building a new relationship with our bodies and finally forging the body-mind-spirit connection. We talk about it but do we live it? I see so many clients who have been disconnected from their bodies and I know intuitively that the road to healing is to reconnect with one’s physical form. All of this is percolating. Rather than Conversations with God is may be Conversations with Your Body.

Blessed are the Curious

Life keeps on giving. My work is to keep on receiving and allowing. To set the course for this, I must release any encumbrances (worry, anxiety, shoulds and have to’s).

These are my reflections for this cloudy, fall day! What are yours?

Until next time…

Betty