Category: Intentions

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Writing for Self Discovery

I never saw myself as a writer nor did I set out to become an author. Pulling my thoughts together in what has now become a total of five books seems more like a happy accident than a specific goal.

Writing really happened when I began to understand that when I wrote things down, I shifted. Journals became a place to ‘dump’ my hurts and vent my anger; a place where emotions which are sometimes difficult to express verbally could be placed and not judged by others. Recording my ideas has allowed me to expand them.

If your brain works at all like mine, ideas appear in rapid succession and unless written down, disappear. As a result I always have a journal with me to simply capture what is in my head, imbed it on the pages and move on. These are the ideas that spawn my work and also feed my own sense of self-discovery.

In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes that “the pages are a pathway to a strong and clear sense of self”. It was her book that started my writer’s journey. One of the exercises within the twelve week program outlined within the book are something called Morning Pages, which Cameron refers to as the primary tool for creative recovery.

What are Morning Pages: three pages of handwritten, stream-of-consciousness writing. Yes I am aware that most of you now write with a computer and I have to share that writing longhand is different. Somehow the physical connection of pen in hand is different than pecking at keys. Stream-of-consciousness means that once you begin writing, you do not stop until all three pages are filled. At first it may be nonsense, like ‘good morning world, I have no idea what I am writing about this morning, blah, blah…’. That’s okay for at a certain point something switches and your hand starts writing things that seemingly come from out of nowhere and now you are in the ‘juicy zone’.

As I began my own writer’s journey, I kept to the habit of morning pages for over a year. Poems emerged, feelings were exposed, truths realized. I came to know me. Because I could record anything, free of the judgment of others, I had a sense of freedom rarely experienced in my outer world. In this type of writing, grammar doesn’t matter nor does punctuation. There is no English teacher staring over your shoulder assessing these things. You write only for yourself.

Morning pages is only one of many writing tools however. I no longer keep my ‘pages’, I am more prone to simply record random thoughts and ideas as they show up in my day. There are no rules in my world although serious journal writers would disagree with me.

Journal B W sketch ORIGINAL SCAN

Writing, if you choose this path, is there to serve you, no one else. Writing for self-discovery is designed to feed your soul, lift your spirit, help you to see yourself through the lens of your inner world rather than through the eyes of others. It is designed for appreciation rather than a place for your self-critic to put you down.

That said, I suggest that if you decide to take up your pen, you begin by recording everything you know about yourself, your gifts, strengths and values. As you place these attributes on the pages of your journal, you create an amazing foundation for moving forward and directing your personal journey.

Thanksgiving Day I picked up a book at a friend’s place and found the following poem by author Dawna Markova, which describes my relationship with writing:

 

Thinking Ourselves Home 

I write to fuse inside with out,

to salve wounds and broken dreams. 

I write to understand the many things no one has told me,

to stroke my moments clean,

to squeeze them into tiny mirror fragments shining with mind light. 

I write to turn my bold to ink, to fertilizer, to sap. 

I write so that my yes can feel, so that my heart can lick,

so that my soul can crawl from its hiding place and

gaze upon a mystery which can be neither solved nor explained.

I write to breathe my spirit live.

 

Final Thoughts

I write to breathe my spirit live. Even though you may not see yourself as a writer, I encourage you to pick up the pen. Do it for YOU, no one else. Do it to serve the journey, not to write a book. Do it to find yourself and to discover who you are today and who you are choosing to become, not to live in the past. Do it to celebrate yourself.

 

Upcoming Events: Living Your Strengths Coaching Circle, Saturday, Novemeber 23rd. For details go to:

http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/coaching-circles-retreat/

 

Until next time…

 

Betty

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Welcome to GratiTuesday!

On the heels of Meatless Monday, I have decided that every Tuesday also requires a specific theme. In considering what this might be, two SIGNS triggered my choice. First was a conversation with one of my clients who decided that October was going to be gratitude month in her organization and coincidentally, October began on a Tuesday. Secondly, October is the month to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving, surely another significant indicator.

So, this is my invitation to all my readers to begin focusing on gratitude and, just in case you don’t make time daily for this, to mark every Tuesday, from this point forward, as the day to acknowledge your gratitudes. From now on think of Tuesday as GratiTuesday (nice play on words, non?)

By the way, introducing gratitude into your life has been shown to have many benefits, not the least of which is to look at life differently and to bring your attention to all the great and good things happening in your life. Having a gratitude practice been shown to increase positivity, improve your sense of well-being and make you more attractive energetically to others. For those of you who are parents, introducing children to a gratitude practice has been shown to improve self-esteem and academic performance. Most importantly, gratitude is FREE!

To help you to get started, I have created an acronym based on GRATITUDE.

G =         Great, finding ways to notice and celebrate all the amazing things happening in your life and around you that you typically fail to notice.

R =          Respect, respecting yourself enough to acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments rather than noticing what you fail to get done; taking opportunities to model respect to others by acknowledging their greatness

A=          Awareness, paying attention to life, seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary, noticing the SIGNS which cross your path every day and which may be passing you by, pausing and wondering what it all means

T=           Truth, telling yourself the truth about who you are, activating your self-coach so as to tune of the inner critic (who does not tell the truth), reminding yourself that you are unique and that every day you make a difference in the life of at least one other person

I=            Intuition, listening to and living from what you know is right for you, embracing your great qualities and strengths and living from that place, allowing your heart to guide your actions while turning down the volume on all of life’s ‘shoulds’

T=           Team/Community, surrounding yourself with your perfect team, those who you love and who love you, those who are your fans and who see you uniqueness and celebrate your contributions

U=          Unconstrained FUN, laughter and joy and sharing this with your family and friends, engaging in activities which light you up!

D=          Daring, engaging in at least one new activity or adventure every month, taking the risk to stretch your pre-conceived notion of who you are and being successful, then celebrating your success.

E=           Environment, taking in random acts of beauty, sunrises and sunsets, the kaleidoscope of fall colors or the pristine whiteness of new snow, a thoughtful letter or complement from a friend or client, noticing that beauty lives in your environment every day.

Gratitude

Putting Gratitude into Practice:
Here’s the plan, if you dare to join me. Each GratiTuesday, post your gratitudes on Facebook, record your gratitudes in a special ‘gratitude journal’ or share your gratitudes with your family just before dinner or while tucking your kids into bed. Make it a weekly practice and have some fun sharing with others. I actually think this is way more exciting than Meatless Monday!

Until next time….

Betty

Upcoming Events:

ME FIRST Retreat: October 19-20th, 2013
Step away from the busyness of your life and re-acquaint yourself with YOU. This two day program is designed to bring you into the present, defining who you are today and who you are choosing to be as you move forward. Details at: http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/

Living Your Strengths: November 23rd, 2013
Using the Lumina Spark Portrait, you will identify your preferred qualities/strengths and learn how to live and leverage your strengths in service of YOU. Details at: http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/

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Lessons from Goddess Camp

For the fifth year in a row, Jim and I hosted Goddess Camp on the weekend of August 17-18th. I always approach this weekend with a sense of excitement and trepidation. Why? Because it changes every year; there is no set plan, it simply arrives. And then there are the quizzical looks I receive from others when we begin advertising the event, that “I say what?” expression followed by “Goddess Camp?” The look grows when I share that the camp is also for men at which point the conversation shifts to “yeah, right!”

All this to say that the idea of Goddess Camp requires some explanation. The concept began with my desire to understand ways in which the world is changing. I hear the experts talking about energy shifts and of course we just experienced the 2012 phenomenon. It’s not like you can nail it down. Like gravity you know that the energy around you is shifting but you cannot see it, touch it or even name it. It simply is.

Part of this current phenomenon is the shift from masculine to feminine energy. This claim triggered my research. Did it mean simply that women are taking over?

As I discovered the shift to feminine energy or to the Divine Feminine as it is called, is an opportunity for women to step into their power and for men to step into their heart. It is not about men versus women, it is simply a learning opportunity for all of us to grow with the changing times. And so Goddess Camp was birthed around the question, how can we facilitate this shift for both men and women.

Each year we listen to what is happening around us, the conversation we hear, the concerns expressed by our coaching clients and retreat participants, and simply what we observe. This past year I was struck by how disembodied people have become. As a former physiotherapist I have a developed an eye for observing people and their relationship with their bodies. I began to notice that in fact, people were not really in their bodies, they seemed to be living in the space around their bodies.

This created the challenge for Goddess Camp. In the world I live in, we speak of the body-mind-spirit connection in almost everything we do. The conundrum posed by our observations was how do people make the body-mind-spirit connection if they are not really in their bodies – there is a missing link.

The idea for this year’s Goddess Camp was birthed. We began to focus on activities in which we could offer our campers grounding and ways in which to be in their bodies differently. With that clarity we set our intentions for the event.

I am always delighted with how life informs us once the intentions are set and then observe who crosses our path. In the months preceding the weekend I found myself attracted to two individuals whom I felt could help us create magic. Enter Sandra, a belly dancer par excellence, who led our participants through a series of moves which led to a full 3 minute choreography by the end of the second day. You could visibly see the shift in energy and how each person had a new sense of their physicality.

GC 2013

Secondly came Rosanne, who led our campers through several meditations/journeys, each one grounding individuals in one of the energy chakras. Again, observing the changes across the two days, I could see the significant shift in energy and body relationship. Mission accomplished!

Final Word
Goddess Camp lessons apply to everyday life, imparting the importance of having a relationship with your body. You grow to understand the need for self-care versus self-neglect,  for acknowledging your body for what it offers you versus complaining about what it doesn’t do and for communicating with your body in a way that allows your body to share what is going on.

Learn to stay grounded through your breath, through frequent ‘body check-in’s’, or by walking barefoot. All of these have been proven to dramatically change your energy and bring you back to your body.

This may seem like an odd lesson to learn. You may be saying, “really, could I possibly be living outside my body?’ The answer is yes, there are times when we all do. The sensation is usually one of feeling disconnected and ungrounded. Begin to grow your awareness and simply check in. Your body needs you!

 

Coming Soon:

Living Your Strengths Coaching Circle begins September 24th. For details go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/wp/our-focus/conscious-communication-for-self-discovery/coaching/coaching-circle/

ME FIRST Retreat: The next program is October 19-20th. You can register at: http://www.roadsigns.ca/wp/our-focus/conscious-communication-for-self-discovery/retreats-programs/me-first/

Until next time…

Betty

 

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Art is the Message

About a year ago, I was sitting at The Grind, in a meeting with one of my colleagues when a new comer to town, Bruce Davis, was introduced to me. My colleague, meaning well I am sure, explained that Bruce had just been given the task of facilitating the development of the new Arts and Culture Council for the region. The conversation expanded, my colleague noting that I had been involved in coaching local artists for many years in business practices, something most artists don’t have naturally. On we went, travelling the landscape until I was asked if I would be interesting in running for the Arts and Culture Board.

Do you ever wonder how you get yourself involved with such things or perhaps more importantly, what is the meaning of it all?

I have been a member of the Your Arts Council (YAC) Board now since its inception. There have been some frustrating moments as we, a group of 13, stormed and normed on our way to becoming a team. Several months later, we have slightly fewer members and we have just completed our ‘Governance Process”. We have learned how to be an effective board and we have reached a point of unity and performance.

Aside for the effort and dedication required in being a board member (and this is true of any board) there have been many additional advantages to my involvement. Personally I have been challenged to once again take a look at my artistic persona or lack thereof. As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago in my column ‘Happy Accidents’, I had abandoned my art 30 years ago. Now I find myself on the YAC Board, representing the interests of artists and the art community and feeling rather alienated as I am not a part of it. This is not an attractive place to be. I realized that if I wanted to see our community filled with artists who are engaged and successful, I needed to re-connect with my artistic soul. I needed to be part of it.

In stepping back into this arena, re-engaging my passion for art and tapping back into my own artistic desires, I have begun to appreciate once again the importance of art. Art is, in my view, a message. Like music and dance, art is an international language, one that is instantly understood by those who experience it. The appreciation of music, dance and art is individual, guided by our own preferences and experiences, our likes and dislikes. The arts communicate to us, convey a message. There is the intention of the creator and there is the experience you have as a result. The interesting thing is the intended message and the received message don’t really matter. What is important is the connection that art, music, dance and other expressive arts create.

With my increased involvement in the arts and culture community, I have begun to realize how much we need art, dance and music in our life. Consider this for yourself – a painting that stole your breath, a dancer who floated across the stage and took you with her, or a piece of music that plays just behind your ears and makes you smile when you hear the chords or words.  I love music, dance and art that makes me think, that pulls me in and perhaps even shakes me up a bit, or that makes me grin and see the humor in life.

Here is what I want you to know. Our world is filled with gifted and talented people, artists, dancers, musicians and much more. They are easy to miss unless you become aware of them. The Seeker has been great at letting us know what is happening, and there is always something: an open-mike night at the Grind, Arts Fest or Apples and Art (coming late September), an exhibit at TAG (The Art Gallery), drumming circles, dance. All you need to do is be curious, become aware and step out.

Final Word

People are always asking you to support the Arts. I suggest you support yourself and take in the arts and experience the message. In a world that is busy and often filled with negative news, choose to shift your energy to a place where you can allow your spirit to soar. Take in a show or take a class.  Re-claim your artistic soul. Oh, and by the way, all of us are artists; artistic expression takes on many forms. Is it time for you to find yours?

Upcoming Coaching Circle
If you are interested in re-discovering your inner artists and/or identifying and living from your strengths, join us for the upcoming Coaching Circle. This is a 7 week program that begins Tuesday, September 17th. for details go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/coaching-circles-retreat/

The Evolutionary Process
Are you experiencing the challenge of living in the higher vibrational energy of 2013? Would you like to have tools and practices designed to help you ‘plug-in’ to this higher vibration, attract greater wellness and live easily in this new reality?

The Evolutionary Process – Galactic Healing is designed to help you heal at every level. Join us September 21-22 for an amazing two-day retreat facilitated by Denine Savage, P.T., I.M.T., C. P.A., C. For more information go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/wp/guest-host-retreats/

Until next time,

Betty

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Three Feet at a Time

I am a Gardener. For some people, that may not seem significant that is unless you look at the size of our gardens. A large amount of summertime energy is dedicated to trimming, planting, weeding, grooming and creating, so much so that we rarely choose to travel in this season. Those who visit our home frequently ask us for the name of our gardeners at which point Jim and I simply share that they are looking at them and no, we don’t want any gardening contracts.

Despite the work involved in this rather large project, the garden is a source of many lessons. The most significant of these lessons is what I call, ‘three feet at a time’. This lesson first appeared in 2002 when Jim and I began construction of the Garden Labyrinth.

A labyrinth, in case you are wondering, is in the ‘maze’ family however, designed to lead you in and out without getting lost. It has been used by different cultures to represent a pilgrimage, for walking meditation and for community building. Our labyrinth is 40 feet in diameter, a gravel path separated by gardens filled with thyme and lavender.

Back to the building process; on day one I walked into the back yard where Jim had marked the pathway in the lawn. As I examined the size and the scope of my work for the week, creating the border garden, I felt myself in a state of overwhelm. A few unmentionable expletives erupted from my lips. Panic set in. Where upon Jim appeared with a yard stick, set it down in front of me and gave me the following instruction, “Place the yard stick down, mark off the first three feet, dig up the grass, till and add fresh soil. Pick up the yard stick, mark off the next three feet, repeat. Do not look up; keep moving forward three feet at a time until you are finished.” Four days later I looked up and realized I had completed my assignment.

Three feet at a time comes up every time we begin a new garden project, this year creating a shady glen at one corner of the property where scrappy grass, weeds, moss and wild violets needed to be cleared first. As I looked at the scope of the project, I reached for the yard stick and marked off the first three feet. It works every time.

I actually use this lesson over and over again in all aspects of life. As someone who tends to see the big picture before the individual parts, I can easily get lost in overwhelm. You may notice yourself in this zone as well. Overwhelm can lead to procrastination, a sense of being stalled or send you off in a tail spin.

The principle of three feet at a time can pull you out of both spinning and stalling every time. The idea of three feet is to break down the whole into chewable chunks, those bits which you know you can take on now and which when added together, lead you to accomplishing the whole. Along the way you get to experience a whole bunch of little successes, points in time where you can derive a sense of satisfaction for accomplishing the first steps of the whole. And this builds your sense of accomplishment and your self-esteem.

Much of my coaching practice is dedicated to helping people break down the overwhelming into chewable chunks. For some people it comes naturally. Not so for others. Here are a few suggestions for applying the three feet at a time principle:

1)    Name the project and the outcome you wish to achieve. Visualize it and make it as real as you can.

2)   Work backwards and look at what steps you need to accomplish to get there.

3)   Take each step and ask yourself what the first three feet are. Repeat until you have a sense of what needs to be completed.

4)   Take on the first three feet. Don’t look up – keep repeating until the first chewable chunk is completed.

5)   Celebrate and acknowledge yourself for what you have accomplished.

6)   Take on the next chewable chunk and repeat the process.

7)   Always remember to celebrate each step of the way. This builds you up and fuels the fire to continue.

The Glen - a plce for energizing and reflection
The Glen – a place for energizing and reflection

                  Final Word

I have been very grateful for the garden lessons I have learned and how they have leaked into other aspects of my life. I enjoy resting my head on the pillow at night and reviewing the day behind me and feeling grateful for each three-foot section I have accomplished. While three feet at a time may seem simplistic, trust me, it is a valid and powerful strategy. Are you ready to tackle your life three feet at a time?

Until next time…

Betty

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Along the WAY…

On Sunday June 9th, Jim and I celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary. Marriage is an amazing journey. Along the way, I have learned a few lessons about what makes a marriage grow and ripen. The first was that I entered marriage expecting it to last. Perhaps this was because of the failure of my own parents’ relationship. Before jumping in, I took the time to be clear of my expectations of myself, of Jim and what lay before us.

June 9th, 1973
   June 9th, 1973
June 9th, 2013
June 9th, 2013

Were there challenges along the way – of course there were. What forty year journey would be void of a few potholes and speed bumps? As I see it, these are only opportunities to come up for air, check-in and ask, “are we headed in the right direction?”

More often than not individuals within a relationship are headed in different directions which is why the relationship fails. The statistics are clear, one of every two marriages don’t work. There are lots of reasons why they don’t and I have no judgment regarding the ones that fail. I also see that some marriages could be saved. The thing is, a good marriage like anything, takes a little work.

 

What I have learned along the WAY…

Here are a few on the many lessons I have learned that build a relationship and save a marriage:

  1. Don’t make your partner wrong. Notice how you use ‘yes, but’ in your conversations, how you want to ‘win’ an argument or ‘make’ your point. Yes but makes your partner wrong. There is room for two points of view in every conversation. Try using ‘yes and…’
  2. Appreciate the differences. Research has shown that successful relationships are built around differences. In many cases there is more room for argument when you are too much alike. There is truth to ‘opposites attract’ – allow the differences to round you out rather than finding fault with them and trying to convert the other person to your way.
  3. Build your relationship around shared values. This in my view is the centerpiece for a relationship. Differences can exist easily when values are shared. Take the time to define and share them and then engage them within your relationship, with your children and with important others.
  4. After ME FIRST comes WE FIRST. So many couples we work with have put their relationship on the back burner because of their children or their careers. It doesn’t work because one day you will face a stranger. Build in WE FIRST time weekly, whether this is a cup of coffee together after dinner or a weekly date night.
  5. Be interested in one another, whether that is your hobbies or your work. In that shared WE FIRST time, ask questions of one another and learn what is going on behind the scenes, discuss issues, support one another.
  6. Speak up! If there is an issue in your relationship or if you want something to change or shift, state it. Too frequently individuals don’t speak up, believing that the other person ‘should know’. They don’t. You can’t have what you don’t ask for.
  7. Ask differently. Through the years I learned that saying ‘I want this or that’ didn’t feel right to me as it sounded selfish. So I found other ways of stating my viewpoint or asking. My favorite is, “What would be perfect for me is…” or ‘Would you consider this or that…”.
  8. Don’t  hide your anger. It does make you sick. I used to do this as I was taught that is was wrong to show emotion, especially anger. Trust me; it is better expressed at the 8th hour than the 11th hour when it is exploding out of you. Take your partner aside and share with him or her what is going on. A good strategy is the ‘I’ message which goes like this, “when you say this, I feel/think this…”
  9. Learn together. Learn about yourself and learn about your relationship. If anything has kept Jim and I going through the years, it is our desire to raise the bar on our relationship, have some fun and find other ways to know one another.
  10. Be your partner’s best friend. Lustful love and the bells and whistles of new love are temporary. Friendship is much more enduring and feeds the love you have for one another. That does not exclude romance however, which is important. Find ways of keeping it in your relationship as well.

Final Word

Remember, marriage is a journey. It will meander. Two partners will diverge and converge along the way. That’s perfect as long as you stay on each other’s radar and keep connecting. Enjoy the ride.

Until next time…

 

Betty

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The Beginning is Near

In a coaching session recently with one of my clients, we discussed her future. After retiring three years ago and taking time to consider her options for the rest of her life, she was now prepared to look at what’s next. As with many of my clients, when the conversation begins, there is a lot of spinning, considering the endless possibilities. Clarity can be elusive. This is where coaching comes in, the opportunity to narrow the field and to identify what it is that really ‘lights’ you up.

Following our conversation, my client left for another meeting. I reminded her to watch for the SIGNS. Later that day I received an e-mail from her with the following, “I left your place remembering what you said. When I walked I to my next appointment, I saw this sign, “The Beginning is Near”. Now isn’t that a roadSIGN!”

The Begging is Near

I loved it. That is how it works. The Universe is always on your side, feeding you information constantly. The question is, are you paying attention.

My client that day was on high alert, swimming in the conversation of what she wants to attract and create in her life. The message The Beginning is Near seemed so appropriate.

SIGN Spotting
SIGNS for me have always represented those Significant Insightful Gold Nuggets informing my Spirit. SIGNS may not be actual signs as my client experienced; they show up in many forms from an interview on the radio, a morning horoscope, a message from a friend, a posting of Facebook, something or someone crossing your path. Life is full of meaning; we are unfortunately, for the most part, oblivious to what is there.

SIGN spotting requires living consciously, getting away from living life on autopilot which most of us do, and becoming more mindful and aware of what is going on around us. This is a challenge in the fast paced world we live is so yes, it does mean slowing down a bit, noticing more, asking more questions, reflection  and sometimes, simply breathing.

Look at it this way. Your life and manifesting what it is you want, is the most significant project you will ever take on. As with any project, it needs to be planned. You need to determine what it is that you desire as you look down the road. We call these intentions, naming what you want. Again, as with any project, you require data. This is where SIGNS come in – the angel whispers offered to you by Source, or the Universe, whatever you call you higher power, telling you whether or not you are on the right path, giving you support and encouragement, confirming the path you have chosen, and occasionally challenging you to change directions.

Heavenly Faxes
My friend Larry Snow in Colorado calls his SIGNS heavenly faxes and because Colorado has a lot of personalized license plates, cars are his typical SIGN spotting opportunity. After divorcing his wife of seventeen years, and then through therapy giving himself time to heal, Larry found himself attracted to another woman. He was however, reticent to get involved even though he knew that Margie was special and potentially the one.

As he considered the past, he found himself behind a green mustang with the license plate LET GO. As Larry said, this caused him to chuckle. A few days later as he was considering his next steps with Margie, he pulls up behind a Nebraska car with the plate 1 TO GO 4.

There was no turning back, the SIGNS in his life were definitely feeding him data. The final SIGN happened a few weeks later, when Larry again hesitated. In his words, “As I looked left before merging into the morning rush-hour traffic, I noticed a blue Volvo cresting the hill on South Wadsworth Boulevard — beneath the snowcapped mountain backdrop its green vanity plate stated simply and succinctly: MARGIE.”

Final Word
Whether you call them SIGNS, angel whispers, or heavenly faxes, you have access to more information than you can possibly imagine.

It’s a simple choice: wake up to your life and become aware of what is going on around you. The beginning is near!

Betty Healey

Join us for our next Retreat May 22-23rdth – ME FIRST, a two day retreat that focuses on Clarity + Action.
You can sign up at http://www.roadsigns.ca/upcoming-retreats-events/me-first-retreat/.

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It’s the Journey not the Destination

Last Wednesday I attended a networking event in Montreal. As I venture out to new networking events I carry two burning questions: will I meet someone and make a heartfelt connection and will I walk away with some new learning or piece of information. Like anything else in life, I believe that networking needs to be intentional.

I was not disappointed. The guest speaker was Bhaskar Goswami of Bodhi Yoga Center in Montreal ( www.bodhiprinciple.com) who delivered an entertaining speech  on a trek he and three cousins completed in the Himalayas. It was not particularly new information to me just a simple reminder of things I know but fail to practice consistently.

As Bhaskar shared his experience I was reminded that I have a tendency, when beginning any journey, to focus on where I am going, the destination. In doing so I often forget about the experience, that is the journey itself.

While this focus serves my need for being purposeful, it is a bit like wearing blinders, prohibiting me from checking my peripheral vision and actually experiencing what is going on in the moment. And so, if you are like me, I suggest that we all pause to smell the roses and to begin being more present with our journey, whether that is simply life, a big project we are managing or an actual trek up a mountainside.

“Perhaps the turtle knows the road better than the hare.”

Take the First Step

Have you ever noticed that when you focus on the destination, the entire picture, that you get a wee bit overwhelmed. Eleven years ago I learned a vital lesson in living the journey when Jim and I built our garden labyrinth. On the morning of June 2nd I stepped into the back yard to survey the project we were about to begin. Three weeks earlier Jim had cut the design for the labyrinth out of the grass. It was 40 feet in diameter and while I understood it was going to be no small feat, I had not fully comprehended the full breadth of the project. My task was to lift the remaining grass in the design, dig up the soil and prepare the area as a garden.

My first response was a few expletives which cannot be shared in this article! You can use your imagination here. Then Jim appeared carrying a yard stick. He set it down in front of me and gave me the following instructions:  Place the stick down, mark off the first three feet, move the stick away, dig up the grass, till the soil. REPEAT. Do not lift your head, simply be in the experience until you have finished. Respond to your task and enjoy each 3 foot segment.

I did as he suggested and despite being tempted I did not look up. I stayed in the moment learning that it was very meditative to do so. Four days later the labyrinth was done and honestly, I could not have completed the task without following Jim’s instructions.

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The lesson, three feet at a time, has stayed with me since. Each time I begin a new project or embark on a new journey, I bring myself into the experience and consider the first three feet. Using this strategy will allow you to be more present and mindful of your surroundings, taking in information that is readily available to you but which can be so easily missed if you keep your focus only on the destination. It also enriches the experience.

I so often meet individuals who are in overwhelm. It is my belief that they have lost a sense of the journey and why they are on the journey. Responding to overwhelm has two possible options: spinning, which is just continuing on the same course and forgetting to get grounded in the moment or pausing, which as described here brings you into the moment and allows you to be clear on your choices and decide on the first three feet.

I can assure you, at least from my own experience, that carving out the first three feet, works wonders. And so I invite you to do the same: be present, mark off the first three feet, and enjoy the journey. You will reach your destination and along the way, enjoy the experience more.

Until Next Time,

Betty

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Spring Clean Your Life

With the sounds, sights and smells of spring appearing all around me, the urge to purge has also arrived. It’s that time of year for spring cleaning. This year I am also resting with the question, what would it be like to spring clean my life, not just the house or the garden?

With some contemplation on this theme, the following spring cleaning tips have emerged.

  1. The Great D & C: I am not referring to a surgical procedure here, rather the desire to simply dust and clean. Doesn’t it feel like there are a few dust bunnies in the corners of your mind and a few dirty floors where you allowed yourself to be a bit of a doormat?

Time to change that and get out the scrubbers and the dust mop. Your Strategy – consciously dust out the corners and release any conversations, left over arguments, less than perfect interactions with others, worry and self-criticism and sweep them into the dustbin. Remember it is only stuff, dust. The beautiful you lies underneath and you want to shine yourself up and prepare for all the amazing things you are about to attract and manifest.

  1. The Great Purge: You can start this process physically by visiting the closets and cupboards in your house. As you  survey the contents, ask yourself what you no longer need or require. When it comes to your clothes, release anything that has not been worn for the last year, anything which does not have the WOW! Factor, anything torn, used or abused.

Now apply the same principles to your closet of thoughts. Release any thoughts, usually sourced from your inner critic, that no longer serve you, which are worn and torn, don’t fit anymore and are seriously out of date. By the way, most of your inner critic’s messages are out of date, born of some voice from the past who certainly does not deserve any air time. Finally, any thought that does not have the WOW! Factor, that does not lift you up or support you, is destined for the garbage bin.

  1. The Great Forgiving: I have through the years made a number of clothing purchases which were outrageous to say the least. Once home and in my closet, I have asked myself, “What were you thinking?” Okay I wasn’t! It is in these moments that I have learned to forgive my momentary lapse in judgment.

The same rule applies to other life choices, whether this has been a decision about work, friendship, family or whatever. Forgiveness always  starts with self-first, to those places where you have set the standard for yourself so high that you could not possibly meet it, to the places where you have disappointed yourself and possibly others, to those      occasions where you have been angry and judgmental of yourself.

Let it go! Live by the rule that you are perfect just as you are and that you have done your best. The ’best’ is a moving target, one that gets better every day with the many life lessons you experience and the accrued wisdom that accompanies these lessons. Learn to look to the present moment, what is happening and who you are being today. Consider who you are becoming. Create the space for yourself to continue to grow and learn by forgiving yourself of all the sins you think you have committed. And when you forgive yourself, forgiving others is a lot easier.

  1. Manage Space: Once you have purged, dusted and cleaned, there will be more space in your life. You have released all that no longer serves you. The next step, and perhaps
    just as critical as releasing, is replacing. Once space is created, do not leave it vacant as that allows backwash, a return of all that you are choosing to let go of.

Replacing means becoming very clear regarding what you are choosing for your life. For example, and easy, effortless and unconditional loving relationship with yourself, replacing the messages from your inner critic. Or an openness to receive all that is in your highest good, whether this is in terms of relationships, your work, or opportunities to grow and expand. I call this Clarity, being clear about what      you want in your life and making the choices that lift you up.

Spring has arrived providing you with an opportunity to clean up anything that is currently less than perfect. Do not fall prey to the belief that this is not possible. It’s all about choice, you choosing what is perfect for YOU. Invite your friends to join you and create a spring cleaning extravaganza.

I look forward to seeing you on the other side, all shiny and sparkly and fueled by all the possibilities that show up when you give them the space that they need!

Betty Healey

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Resilience

In recent years much has been said about our ability to work under less than perfect conditions. There are a variety of things that happen within the modern day workplace which continually attract attention these days, issues such as the ‘toxic boss or colleague’, bullying (yes! It’s not just an issue for kids!), feeling underemployed or underappreciated, and simply spinning from the many demands placed upon you.

So how do you protect yourself? How do you remain resilient?

During the closing session of our most recent Coaching Circle in Cornwall, we all put our heads together and came up with the following strategies:

  • Practice Gratitude – In the day to day working of life and living, we humans have the habit of focusing on the negative events and happenings of life. When you switch gears and re-focus on those aspects for which you are grateful, it lifts your spirits. Having a gratitude practice where you do this on a daily basis, creates resilience.
  • Don’t Take It Personally – Create space between yourself and the negative nellies in your life. Their stuff is their stuff and always remember not to take what they have to say      personally. It has nothing to do with you.
  • Speak UP – Learn to speak up for yourself and to speak from your authentic self. You cannot expect others to know what you want or what you are thinking.
  • Stay Positive – Appreciate that everything that happens in life is perfect; it is there for a reason and a lesson. Learn from mistakes or hiccups, laugh at yourself, and move on with this new lesson tucked under your arm.
  • Flip-It! – whenever you find yourself focusing on what you don’t want; flip it to what you do want. Remember you attract what you focus on.

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  • Go Downstream – If you find yourself in a battle with yourself, your work or someone else, change directions. Recognize that you are swimming upstream and ask yourself what it would take to change directions to downstream.
  • Be clear on your ‘I AM” – Your I AM statement represents who you are choosing to be in any situation. It is your source of inner power and clarity. It begins by saying to yourself I AM —-, breathing it in, feeling it and radiating it.
  • Attract your  Perfect Tribe – Be clear on who you want to surround yourself with. Make sure these are people who lift you up and love you unconditionally.
  • Have ME FIRST time – Commit to a minimum of 15 minutes/day of ME FIRST time. This is time just for you, not to be shared, for breathing, meditation, setting your ‘I  AM’ statements or for gratitude.
  • Space Management – It’s not really about time management, it’s about space management . Be  clear about your ‘have to’s’ versus your ‘can do’s’. You can all do lots  of things, the question is do you want to, is it necessary or does it  belong to you or someone else.
  • Develop your NO-How      – Be clear on your boundaries. Know what your priorities and t your responsibilities are. Develop your ability to say NO to what is not yours to own or take care of.
  • Single Task – Much attention has been given to our ability to multi-task. The thing is it doesn’t  really work. You find yourself with many balls in the air yet nothing ever  really gets completed. Learn to set your priorities and take on one task  at a time. When you bring tasks to completion, you will grow your  self-esteem and confidence.
  • Affirm Yourself –Check in and make sure you are not diminishing yourself with negative inner talk. You are in charge of this. Become consciously aware of what you are saying to yourself and change the message to something uplifting.
  • Self-Acknowledgement – When you receive complements form others, accept them graciously and simply say ‘Thank-You’.  Take it in like a sponge and acknowledge yourself for the complement you just received.
  • Choose Inspiring Messaging – Monitor what you choose to read or watch and choose that which inspires you. A highly recommend two sources of daily messages: www.tut.com and www.pattidigh.com.
  • Listen to Your Body – When you feel unwell or something hurts, turn inward and have a  conversation with your body. Ask “what are you trying to communicate to me?” then listen. It’s better than anything a doctor can give you.
  • Laugh a Lot – Find a friend to have fun with or watch some comedy, whatever it takes to bring laughter into your world. Laughter is a great healer.
  • Go with the Flow – Notice where the big rocks or obstacles in your life are and move around them versus pushing against them. As one member of our group shared, “It’s easier to ride the horse in the  direction the horse is going!”

You will recognize that these suggestions really are just common sense and yet, common sense is not common! I encourage you to take this list and pin it up in a place where it is fully  visible and then practice 1, 2 or more of these suggestions daily.

Until next time…

 

Betty