Author: Road Signs

I was invited to speak to a group of about thirty adult students at Tri-County Literacy in Cornwall this past Tuesday. As we were discussing the idea of stepping into our own power, and the things that prevented us from doing this, one of the participants asked me about ‘bullies’. I thought this to be an interesting question, so I probed a bit more, asking if she was referring to bullies in schools or bullying in general.

The story we hear most often is about bullying in elementary and secondary school environments, rarely realizing that adults bully one another as well. This happens in marriages and families as well as in the workforce. The person who asked the question responded with, “I mean bullying in general. We all have them in our lives!”

I loved the question as truly we all do have a bully in our life. I call him or her the self-critic, the person who sits on your shoulder, screaming in one of your ears, and reminding you how imperfect you are. My self-described bully, named Beatrice, has often been unleashed in my head.

As I shared my journey with my critic with the audience, the heads began to nod. I shared this as bullies will appear in our life if we are bullying ourselves with negative self-talk and criticism. I asked the audience to consider this question, “Where in your life are you bullying you?”

The initial response was to say, “I don’t” until I asked each person to consider the kinds of feedback they typically give to themselves on a day today basis. Participants quickly realized that they were treating themselves in a very deprecating way.

So here was the big roadSIGN – you will attract bullies to your life, if you have a bullying relationship with yourself. Like attracts like.

If you can begin to monitor the voice of your self-critic, listen to what he/she is telling you and decide that this is way less than perfect for you, you have taken the first critical step. If next you begin to re-record those messages, replacing your bully with your Heart Voice, a voice that is respectful and builds you up, that is the next step. Not always easy, yet necessary. If we want others to treat us well, the journey begins by treating ourselves well.

So who is the REAL bully in your life? Start with ME FIRST.

Until next time….

Betty

I was invited to speak to a group of about thirty adult students at Tri-County Literacy in Cornwall this past Tuesday. As we were discussing the idea of stepping into our own power, and the things that prevented us from doing this, one of the participants asked me about ‘bullies’. I thought this to be an interesting question, so I probed a bit more, asking if she was referring to bullies in schools or bullying in general.

The story we hear most often is about bullying in elementary and secondary school environments, rarely realizing that adults bully one another as well. This happens in marriages and families as well as in the workforce. The person who asked the question responded with, “I mean bullying in general. We all have them in our lives!”

I loved the question as truly we all do have a bully in our life. I call him or her the self-critic, the person who sits on your shoulder, screaming in one of your ears, and reminding you how imperfect you are. My self-described bully, named Beatrice, has often been unleashed in my head.

As I shared my journey with my critic with the audience, the heads began to nod. I shared this as bullies will appear in our life if we are bullying ourselves with negative self-talk and criticism. I asked the audience to consider this question, “Where in your life are you bullying you?”

The initial response was to say, “I don’t” until I asked each person to consider the kinds of feedback they typically give to themselves on a day today basis. Participants quickly realized that they were treating themselves in a very deprecating way.

So here was the big roadSIGN – you will attract bullies to your life, if you have a bullying relationship with yourself. Like attracts like.

If you can begin to monitor the voice of your self-critic, listen to what he/she is telling you and decide that this is way less than perfect for you, you have taken the first critical step. If next you begin to re-record those messages, replacing your bully with your Heart Voice, a voice that is respectful and builds you up, that is the next step. Not always easy, yet necessary. If we want others to treat us well, the journey begins by treating ourselves well.

So who is the REAL bully in your life? Start with ME FIRST.

Until next time….

Betty

Although the weather continues to be grey, I am really energized this morning. This past week has been an amazing adventure of business building, networking events and two speaking engagements.

It feels like my world has suddenly sped up and I have truly been ‘joyfully engaged’. SIGNS have been appearing everywhere. I have been practicing mindfulness and intention daily as the ME FIRST journey continues to unfold.

It is interesting – I have been writing now for over 8 years. With two previous books under my wings, I did not expect the response to ME FIRST – If I Should Wake Before I Die to be so significant, even though this has been my intention since I first felt inspired to write the book.

Writing this book was in and of itself an adventure and at times a rather tortuous path. Readers always ask me two questions: “Did you always know you were a writer?” and “How long did it take to write this book?”

“Did you always know you were a writer?”
NO! It never really occurred to me. As an avid reader of both fiction and spirit elevating books, I knew only what I enjoyed and that I had an appreciation for good writing. Then a number of my coaching colleagues began speaking about writing ‘their’ book and I thought why not? Many of my clients had asked for a book which would support their self-discovery work and be consistent with the conversations we were having. So what did I do? In 2001 I began writing a monthly e-letter, which continues today. This dove tailed into my first two books, roadSIGNS – Travel Tips for Authentic Living and roadSIGNS – Travel Tips to Higher Ground.

But that was then and this is now, writing ME FIRST has been a very different experience.

“How long did it take to write this book?”
The easy answer is three years. The truth is a lifetime. My two previous books were a compilation of the monthly e-letters. ME FIRST was the first book to be written totally from scratch so to speak, like baking a very rich, lip smacking carrot cake and adding loving intention along with every ingredient in the recipe.

I mentioned the tortuous path – the book was written twice. The first version, which was 80% complete, was shelved when I realized I was writing the wrong book. I was pushing it out, and like a mother in labor, if you push too hard, complications arise. I stopped writing for several months and set an intention to hear the book, to listen deeply to my life and the lives of others, and to receive the book.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but for me it changed everything. My life, my experiences, my memories began to reappear and demanded to be woven into the fabric of the text. ME FIRST represent my roots and my awakening!

So is this book just about me or is valuable to others? The subtitle, If I Should Wake Before I Die, is stunningly attractive. That is what I am learning. Most of you will recognize that this line comes from the third line of a familiar child’s prayer, Now I lay me down to sleep…., and reconfigures the words, If I should die before I wake. Okay – I am wondering who in their right mind thought is was a good idea to teach this to children! Hence ‘waking up’!

So why am I energized on this rainy morning? I attended one networking event this week, one which I had not previously attended. After introducing myself and the book, people lined up to buy a copy. First SIGN.

I also spoke at two different venues where the audiences were not only receptive but totally engaged. One attendee said, “This is exactly what I need right now. Thank You!” Second SIGN. This was music to my ears.

My intention to reach out to others and to be of service to them is happening and that in a nut shell is what this entire ME FIRST Journey is about. And as Christine at Café Connectionz so aptly said, “The books are selling like pancakes!”

I don’t mean this to sound ego centric. I am simply delighted that something that I created, something I poured my heart into over the last 3 years, is not only attractive to others, but helping them. It is my intention to send out a tidal wave of ME FIRST energy across the world, offering humankind the tools to make peace with themselves and to step into their own power. The time is now – no more hesitating!

Until next time….

Your roadSIGNS Coach and ME FIRST Champion,

Betty

Although the weather continues to be grey, I am really energized this morning. This past week has been an amazing adventure of business building, networking events and two speaking engagements.

It feels like my world has suddenly sped up and I have truly been ‘joyfully engaged’. SIGNS have been appearing everywhere. I have been practicing mindfulness and intention daily as the ME FIRST journey continues to unfold.

It is interesting – I have been writing now for over 8 years. With two previous books under my wings, I did not expect the response to ME FIRST – If I Should Wake Before I Die to be so significant, even though this has been my intention since I first felt inspired to write the book.

Writing this book was in and of itself an adventure and at times a rather tortuous path. Readers always ask me two questions: “Did you always know you were a writer?” and “How long did it take to write this book?”

“Did you always know you were a writer?”
NO! It never really occurred to me. As an avid reader of both fiction and spirit elevating books, I knew only what I enjoyed and that I had an appreciation for good writing. Then a number of my coaching colleagues began speaking about writing ‘their’ book and I thought why not? Many of my clients had asked for a book which would support their self-discovery work and be consistent with the conversations we were having. So what did I do? In 2001 I began writing a monthly e-letter, which continues today. This dove tailed into my first two books, roadSIGNS – Travel Tips for Authentic Living and roadSIGNS – Travel Tips to Higher Ground.

But that was then and this is now, writing ME FIRST has been a very different experience.

“How long did it take to write this book?”
The easy answer is three years. The truth is a lifetime. My two previous books were a compilation of the monthly e-letters. ME FIRST was the first book to be written totally from scratch so to speak, like baking a very rich, lip smacking carrot cake and adding loving intention along with every ingredient in the recipe.

I mentioned the tortuous path – the book was written twice. The first version, which was 80% complete, was shelved when I realized I was writing the wrong book. I was pushing it out, and like a mother in labor, if you push too hard, complications arise. I stopped writing for several months and set an intention to hear the book, to listen deeply to my life and the lives of others, and to receive the book.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but for me it changed everything. My life, my experiences, my memories began to reappear and demanded to be woven into the fabric of the text. ME FIRST represent my roots and my awakening!

So is this book just about me or is valuable to others? The subtitle, If I Should Wake Before I Die, is stunningly attractive. That is what I am learning. Most of you will recognize that this line comes from the third line of a familiar child’s prayer, Now I lay me down to sleep…., and reconfigures the words, If I should die before I wake. Okay – I am wondering who in their right mind thought is was a good idea to teach this to children! Hence ‘waking up’!

So why am I energized on this rainy morning? I attended one networking event this week, one which I had not previously attended. After introducing myself and the book, people lined up to buy a copy. First SIGN.

I also spoke at two different venues where the audiences were not only receptive but totally engaged. One attendee said, “This is exactly what I need right now. Thank You!” Second SIGN. This was music to my ears.

My intention to reach out to others and to be of service to them is happening and that in a nut shell is what this entire ME FIRST Journey is about. And as Christine at Café Connectionz so aptly said, “The books are selling like pancakes!”

I don’t mean this to sound ego centric. I am simply delighted that something that I created, something I poured my heart into over the last 3 years, is not only attractive to others, but helping them. It is my intention to send out a tidal wave of ME FIRST energy across the world, offering humankind the tools to make peace with themselves and to step into their own power. The time is now – no more hesitating!

Until next time….

Your roadSIGNS Coach and ME FIRST Champion,

Betty