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Sunsets, Butterflies and Snake Skins

As I drove home from Montreal last evening, it was hard not to be in awe. A crest of a new moon loomed on the horizon, so large that I felt if I simply reached for it I would be able to touch it. The sky to the west shifted from yellow to orange to pink and purple over the span of just a few minutes. As I drove over the Isle Eaux Tourtes, Lake of Two Mountains caught on fire with the reflected colours of the setting sun. I found myself thinking, “How could I forget how beautiful this all is?” It was breath taking and breath giving all in one moment.

It is easy to get caught up in the everyday activities of living. I am guilty of this, occupied with the daily tasks of running a business or simply caught up in life. When I am called back to what is right in front of me, when I allow myself to take in the beauty that surrounds me, I find myself diving into amazing gratitude for the abundance surrounding me. I remember how lucky I am to live where I live, in the country I live in, a country free of the turmoil that occupies the psyches of most of the countries in the world.

It seems like there’s no balance, at least in the way the world is presented to us by the powers at be. Faced with a choice of being in the beauty of this amazing evening or drawn into the busy-ness of life. In this moment I decided to choose beauty. It was simply a SIGN to fuel my soul with something more meaningful than the everyday.

It has been a season of SIGNS. Have you noticed the butterflies? Often mistaken for monarchs, the butterflies descending upon us this year are red admirals who arrived in huge numbers due to the early spring and ongoing summer conditions. From Windsor Ontario to the Nova Scotia border, clouds of them have settled into country meadows. In 12 years of country living I have never experienced such an abundance of winged beauty. Butterfly brings with it the message of metamorphosis, change. Given the predictions for this year 2012 and the ‘spiritual revolution’ underway, I have to wonder if this extraordinary explosion of butterflies is a significant SIGN.

And what about snake skins? We found a skin in one of our trees the other morning as we walked the labyrinth. Evidently the tree branches aided the snake in shedding the old layer and left the remnants of his old life behind. Snake crossing your path is about death and re-birth, the shedding of old skins and releasing what no longer serves you. I am wondering about my new skin and what I am about to step into.

Sunsets, butterflies and snake skins – all SIGNS? It would seem so. You could say it’s just what I noticed along the way, and this would be true. And isn’t that what SIGNS are anyway – messages, hidden meanings, or little pokes in the side asking if you are paying attention to your life. You can certainly choose to think that they are just random happenings and yet, when they catch your attention, you are left to ponder the meaning.

Reality – you can make something out of nothing and I choose too. I believe life is full of messages, some subtle, some screaming in your ear. Likewise I believe SIGNS are easy to ignore as it is so easy to pass that by But what if….

 

Set an Intention – Pay Attention – Be in No Tension

It may be time for all of us to be more alert. In our coaching we always teach that after setting an INTENTION, pay ATTENTION as there may be a SIGN in the wings letting you know that what you desire is happening. It’s time to be curious and to be present with what life is offering us. I hope to see you out there SIGN Spotting along with me!

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Control Freak or Control Free

I have always prided myself on being planful – it’s simply the way to get things done. There are long range plans for the next five years and short range plans for the next 2 weeks. It’s makes life so easy when life is planned – you are in control.

CONTROL – am I really in control? Does planning really eliminate worry and make life a smooth running road? NO. Control therefor may simply be an illusion. I am considering this.

And all this planning … perhaps this needs to be re-examined. In one of our coaching programs recently, one of the participants noted that she was spending so much time planning, she was not living. Who’s the coach? I heard the comment and it dove deeply right to the core. I was left with the questions, “Am I living?” Am I so concerned about having control and planning my life that I have forgotten to simply BE in the moment?

The thing about planning is that it also limits choice. Take a look at it for yourself. You have your life planned and your eye on the ball. You know where it is and you are heading in the direction you have chosen for YOU. It’s all perfect and the ducks are lined up a in a row. BORING! (Yes, I have said this to myself as well!)

When you are overly planful, it’s a bit like walking through life with blinders on. You are so focused on the goals you have set for yourself; you cannot see what is in your peripheral vision. You eliminate unnecessary ‘distractions’, you don’t see the SIGNS crossing your path and in many ways, you are cheating yourself of some rich, playful and interesting experiences.  Life is happening around you and you are simply not in life.

Control freak or control free? What would be the benefits of less planning and more being? I have pondered this question since the moment the questions was posed. Did I mention that the person asking the question was only 17? Darn, don’t you hate it when the young are so wise, when they see the obvious and end up teaching you life’s most important lessons!

Here is the lesson for me and I am thinking for anyone reading this column. We all need to:

  1. Lighten up and be a little more in the flow of life
  2. Live more and plan less
  3. Be aware of what is happening on the side lines, in our peripheral vision
  4. Become more present in today and less concerned about tomorrow
  5. Pay attention to the SIGNS crossing our path and be curious about what they mean
  6. Relax, breathe and wonder what life might be like if we were control free.

I am sure that like me, you have heard the phrase living in the moment. I totally agree. So why is it I find it so difficult to simply be present, in this moment and feeling what I feel rather than planning the rest of today, tomorrow and all the days after that?

Here is my new morning ritual – setting my intentions for today. They are not plans; they are more akin to how I want to feel and the experience I am attracting during the day. I know the ‘plans’ are in my agenda and I am giving myself permission to relax and breathe into them. This feels different and I am beginning to encounter the shift from control freak to control free.

Here’s the other notice – life is flow. Control is an illusion (oops – who knew!). Back to flow – there’s lots of things to take a look at and enjoy when everything is not pre-planned. And for some reason everything in the plans still gets done. It is amazing how this works.

Back to you – control freak or control free – it’s a choice!

 

Until next time,

 

Betty

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Stay the Course

This morning I took time to watch the end of the Canadian Women’s Soccer teams’ bid for an Olympic Bronze medal. After a disappointing loss to the US team three days ago, and threats of sanctions against the team when the complained about the officiating, I was more than a proud Canadian when they scored the winning goal.

 

The Winning Team
Canada Ladies Soccer Team Wins Bronze Medal at the Olympics

This team of athletes set out for the Olympics with one goal in mind – to be on the podium. Following the loss to the US team and the extraordinary disappointment I am sure they felt, it would have been easy to lose sight of this goal and to simply give up. They did not. They rallied. What an example they have set for all of us.

As I reflect back on my own life and career, I wonder how many times I have given up when I was disappointed or when I felt I had lost the game.

Staying the course takes fortitude and, perhaps more importantly, courage. When you choose to stay with something you risk being disappointed again or losing again. It is so easy to justify giving up. I have watched myself do it and can remember the excuses: “This wasn’t the best course for me” or “It wasn’t perfect timing for me.” Sound familiar?

Let’s stop doing that and understand that each time you work at something, you learn regardless of the result. If you always do your best and pursue the goals that are important to you, it is the journey rather than the result that really matters. Of course there will be challenges and disappointments along the way. That’s what makes achieving your goal in the long run so sweet!

I have been running our business for fifteen years. I cannot tell you how many times I have thought about quitting. Those days when it just seemed too hard to continue, when there was little or no new business on the books, when the future was uncertain and when I had lost sight of what I am here to do and who I am here to be.

This morning’s triumph is a significant roadSIGN for me. This band of committed women encourages me to stay the course, to never give up. And so I take a deep breath and begin again. I reach for courage and remind myself of why I have made the decisions I have made and what it is I want to offer to the world. I step into my authenticity and remember what I consider to be my raison d’etre, to facilitate the journey of self-discovery for those whom I serve. I dive into love and remember that I began this journey because I love what I do, why I do it and who I do it with and for. And finally I re-visit grace, reminding myself to stop pushing my way forward and to allow today and the future to simply unfold, to be conscious and fully present.

I think at times we give up too easily and as I reflect back, the greater disappointments in life were those where I fell from the path. I am left wondering about the great ‘what if…’ What if I hadn’t given up, what if I had tried something different, what if it had worked.

Here’s the good news – you get to choose again. You can re-visit and remember all those things that are really important to you and you can put them back on your agenda.

 

Until next time…

Betty

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Postive News

One of the things I admire about the Local Seeker,   and one of the reasons I write for the paper is that the focus is on Positive News. It has long been a dream of mine that one day there would be a newspaper, TV or radio station where all you can find is the things that are right with the world. You will notice that this is not the focus of most media as finding the negative and then digging until whatever the wound is bleeds, is the preferred approach to the news. Honestly – YUCH!

Is it truth? Hardly! It is perception and in case you have forgotten, perception is not reality – it is simply the reality of whoever is reporting on the situation. We all have a ‘different take’ on how events unfold. And yet, for some indescribable reason we believe what we read. It’s not to suggest that what is reported is wrong, it is simply wise for each of us to read and watch with a level of discernment and understanding that all is not exactly as it is portrayed to be.

Back to celebrating positive news, the same principle applies to your life. At the end of the day, you tend to remember the things that went wrong in a day rather than enumerating all the things that went right. If you actually begin form the moment you arose and recorded all the good things, then all the ‘bad’, you would probably discover that the good far outweighs the bad. As Rick Hansen in his book Buddha’s Brain wrote, negative thoughts tend to stick to us like Velcro whereas positive ones are like Teflon, they simply side on by.

It takes focus to bring the positive into your life and consciousness to make it stick. The world is not inherently a bad place and I am completely convinced that on any given day in the world, the bad things that happen are like a small black dot on a white sheet of paper. All the white space is filled with the many acts of kindness, good deeds and amazing acts of humanity that go, for the most part, unnoticed and under reported.

As human beings we need to be inspired and fed a diet of positive news. Otherwise we become pessimists, our glasses held empty. You get to choose what you fill your days with, who you spend your time with, what you read and what you view on TV or the internet. Consider a media diet! Set an intention that you will attract only stories that inspire you and begin to turn away from anything that makes you feel less than joyful. How would that influence your days, impact your happiness and perhaps even influence your relationships? When you feel better your energy field shifts and others around you have a different experience of who you are.

Speaking of positive news, we invite you, our readers to join us either Tuesday, August 28th or Wednesday, August 29th for a day of positivity and well-being. On these days we will be filming the roadSIGNS TV Show at the Church on Sydney. This is the third season of the program filmed by TV Cogeco and we will be featuring a number of guests speaking on topics including the Body-Mind-Spirit connection as well as themes from Positive Psychology – understanding what helps people flourish. The Seeker Chicks are part of the program! We have 25 spots available for audience members so if you are interested and want to join in for a day that will feed your soul, let us know. You do need to reserve a spot so e-mail us at info@roadSIGNS.ca or phone at 613-874-9934.

Life is a series of choices you get to make every day. Take a little inventory and ask yourself, what is in your life today that feeds your soul and spirit in a positive way? What relationships do you have that build you up? What choices do you make regarding the media in your life?

I encourage you to reach for those things that make you feel good about yourself, about life and about the world you live in. Remember that what you focus on expands. Imagine that if we all, you and I, focused on what is right in the world, what might happen.

Yee-Haw! I can see it now!

Abundantly Yours,

Betty

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Act-Think Feel

There is a saying which goes, “Fake it until you make it”. It is not one of my favorites and I have often been tempted to dispute it. It’s the ‘fake it’ part that bothers me as it seems inauthentic.

This past weekend I attended the inaugural conference for the Canadian Positive Phycology Association in Toronto. There were a number of impressive presentations all leaving me with a desire for more learning and immense sense of curiosity. One of my favorites was the opening keynote address by Dr. Greg Wells a neurophysiologist from the Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, skyped in from the Olympic Village in London. (Watch for him as part of the CTV broadcast team). He covered a number of topics within the context of his presentation. One of the pieces that stuck with me was ‘act-think-feel’ – you guessed right, fake it until you make it.

In his work with athletes and the mind-body connection, research has demonstrated that what you show on the outside is replicated on the inside. The two key variables which have been researched are smiling and posture.

You have all heard the other phrase, ‘smile and the world smiles with you.” While that theory has not been examined scientifically, the reality is that when you smile, outwardly, your inner world begins to smile. You lighten up and your attitude shifts. When you act – smile, you begin to think and feel differently. Your smile activates a physiological response that makes you feel better.

Remember your mother saying, “Johnny or Jane, stand up straight!” It really annoyed you because you were a teenager and slouching was simply cool. Well it turns out that slouching is not only bad for your posture, it’s bad for your attitude and your health.

The second part of the act-think-feel equation is that standing tall, stretching your height upward and elongating your torso, makes you feel better about you. It is almost impossible to think positively about yourself and feel the resulting emotions if you slouch and slink. Stretching upward enhances your esteem and boosts your confidence.

Step outside yourself for a moment and begin to notice others. Imagine for a moment the person who is frowning, slouching and slinking. What is your response to them? Do they appear positive or confident? No they don’t. You are probably judging them and wondering why such an attractive person wouldn’t stand tall and occasionally smile.

Here’s your choice point – start acting different yourself. Decide each morning to begin the day with a smile, even if it does feel fake. Just plaster it on and then notice:

  1. How you feel about yourself as the day goes on
  2. How others respond to you

Next, begin to check your posture. You don’t want to stand military style; you simply want to stand tall, as if there was a pulley attached to the crown of your head stretching you upward. As you elongate your posture, your shoulders naturally pull back a bit, you can breathe more easily, your chest opens up, you are more receptive, and others will notice.

As a former physiotherapist, there are numerous other advantages to improved posture, including preventing long term back issues and, for women as they age, that ‘dowager’s hump’. Remember, checking in with your posture and standing tall, supports what you think and feel and positively affects how your brain functions.

As you tune into the Olympics this summer, watch the athletes as they prepare for their event. You will see intense concentration; you will see them correct their posture and stand tall, and if you are lucky you may catch a smile or two.

Most importantly, check in with yourself and begin today to smile more and to stand tall. Do your own research project – begin every day with a smile and by stretching your head to the sky. Do both regularly each day and notice what changes or shifts in your energy, confidence and esteem. I guarantee you will feel better and your thoughts will be more positive. Notice how others respond to you and when that friend says to you, ‘what are you smiling about?’ simply say, smiling is changing my world inside and out – want to join me?

It’s really up to you.

Until next time,

Betty

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In Spirit

This has been a ‘spirit guided’ journey, one which began in 2000 just prior to our move to South Glengarry. In June of that year Jim and I attended a retreat called “Take Your Soul to Work”, a gift we gave to one another in celebration of our 27th anniversary. During one of several meditations we experienced, Jim received a message that he was to build a labyrinth. This was very exciting except that, he did not know what a labyrinth was and had little understanding of its purpose or its history.

The journey continued. Jim researched the topic. He learned that a labyrinth is a ‘unicursal’ maze, meaning there is only one way in and one way out. Labyrinths date back to the beginnings of humankind and can be found in almost all cultures around the world. The ancient Greeks wrote about them in their myths. Some of the great cathedrals of the world have them imprinted in the floor, for example the Chartres Cathedral in France. Aboriginal peoples such as the Hopi used them for ceremony.

Today, labyrinths are experiencing resurgence around the world, as a symbol of peace, for walking meditation, to build community and more. The ancient has found its way back to the present.

Prayer Flags in the Fairy Garden

Returning to Jim’s vision, once he learned more about what he was being asked to create, the next step was to identify a labyrinth pattern. There are many traditional patterns and the first winter at TighShee (the name of our home and property) we built the complicated Chartres pattern in the snow. It was clear that this was not perfect and far too intricate for us.

The following summer, as the exploration continued, a labyrinth pattern came to me in a meditation (this meditation stuff is powerful!). I drew it out and offered it to Jim. It was clearly atypical, totally unlike any labyrinth pattern Jim had seen in his research. The following winter, we tried again, this time building the new pattern in the snow. Intuitively we knew this was perfect. On June 8th 2002 building began and over the next week the labyrinth was built.

What emerged after that has been an intuitive experience in which the surrounding gardens took form. As novices, we had a lot to learn about plants and creating gardens. Most of the design was left to Jim and as he tapped into the earth energies, a series of gardens emerged around the labyrinth and the many trees that are found on the property. The effect is rather magical as there are no corners, only curves. Plant choice was left to me and there have been a few plant mistakes along the way – all part of understanding light and shade, soil composition and simply said, energy.

Irises

On the event of the 10th anniversary, 40 people joined us to walk. There have been many magical moments here at TighShee (House of Peace) and clearly this was one of them. With friends we have known for 20 years or more and friends who we met for the first time that day, we felt blessed. The blank canvas we were gifted when we purchased the property 12 years ago has come alive, not only with the gardens and the labyrinth, but with the community that is emerging as a result.

Dreams do come true. When dreams are founded on intention, the desire to be of service and create a space where visitors realize that they are allowed to simply be who they are, the result is community. In the last ten years, we have hosted twenty or more labyrinth walks. Each one is unique. Sometimes there are five people and sometimes forty. We always know that whoever attends are the perfect people to be there and we never question what happens.

This last event however, was undoubtedly the most special of the events, with drummers and singers and plenty of celebration. It was one of those moments when folks come together and connect ‘in spirit’,  and this, in my experience, is the most powerful connection of all.

Abundantly Yours,

Betty

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Create a NEW STORY

Since returning to the Cornwall Region in 2000, I have had the good fortune to coach and work with many of Cornwall’s local artists. It is work I truly love as it gives me the opportunity to play with those extraordinary creative souls who bring beauty to places and spaces. What and who would we be without the influence of art in our lives?

Kirsty’s Flowers – Part of the Downtown mural created by Cornwall artists

One of the reasons that I choose to coach in this arena is that artists, while creative, often do not see the value they bring to society. As a result they tend to underplay their gifts. While there is no doubt that being an artist, and more importantly making a living at being an artist, can be trying, it is essential that the artist believes in him or herself first.

Too often I have heard the following flowing from and artist’s lips – “I am just a poor starving artist”. I recoil at the words and wonder why one would even put that out into the world. Step back for a moment and listen again to the words – I am a poor starving artist. While the phrase may simply be meant as a statement of affairs, or perhaps to garner sympathy for one’s plight as an artist, I am compelled to ask, “Really?”

Yes, really. Now artists are not the only group guilty of this ‘sin’, that of undermining their worth. I have heard the same words uttered from the many folks I know who work with energy and healing therapies. For whatever reason, there seems to be a belief within both communities that the gifts they have to offer are either not valued or not worth being paid for. And this is a LIMITING BELIEF!

Limiting beliefs are those things you tell yourself that have no basis in fact. They do come from the collective, that is ‘they’, whomever they are, have been saying this over and over to everyone they know until it simply becomes an accepted fact that you can’t make money being an artist or a healer. It moves into your psyche and whenever you approach financial success the little voice in your head rears its head and repeats the mantra, “I am a poor starving artist”.

It’s a vicious cycle!

As I stated above however, we all have our story, that is, our own set of limiting beliefs which usually go something like, “you can’t do that—– because….. You can fill in the blank. If you listen in, you will hear the story and even though you may not believe it anymore, it still pops up. You recognize that when it does it steals your breath. You see your mother’s finger pointing at you or an old teacher scolding you. The old stories you see come from your choir, the team of critics who have lined up over the years to keep YOU in your place. Guess what? They are out of date and it is time to write a new story.

What will your story be? Last week, I spent 2 hours with one of my coaches, a remarkable man named John Heney. He uses a very interesting technique for getting us out of our old story and into a new one. This is how it goes –

Ladies and Gentlemen,
on behalf of all starving artists and healers in the world,
watch me ROCK!
Watch me walk the path of success and financial abundance!

This action is done full throttle, arms flung wide open, face turned skyward, as you embrace what it is YOU really want. The truth is YOU don’t want to be a starving artist or whatever you old story is, you want something different, larger, beneficial to you and your future. You are tired of living small and the way your choir instructed you. You want to live large, and to live the life where you really are a true expression of who you are. Don’t YOU?

Here is the reality – YOU get to choose your story. You can live the one you were given or you can write a new script. Of course to write that new script, you must know what YOU want and what YOU want to attract to your life. Then you must step into it, as if it is already happening and be in the belief that your new story has arrived. When the Old Story creeps back into your space, and it will, smile and simply say, ‘you are out of date’.

Begin today – write your New Story! No more hesitating – time’s a wastin’!

Abundantly Yours,

Betty

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The Big Rocks

I have found myself dipping into an exercise from my past recently, an exercise called the Big Rocks. Here is how it goes. Take a large gallon sized jar and place it on your kitchen counter. Beside this place a number of fist sized rocks. Carefully place all of these rocks in the jar, to the point where you cannot place any additional rocks in the jar.

You will notice that the jar is full – or is it?

Next, take two or more cups of gravel and pour this into the jar. As you gently shake the jar, the gravel settles down around the larger rocks. Once again the jar appears full, but is it?

Now take two to three cups of sand and pour that into your container. You will notice that the sand filters down around the large rocks and the gravel filling in all the crevices. Again the jar appears full – is it?

Finally add a large jug of water to all the other ingredients. You may be surprised just how much water you can add. Now the jar is full.

What if you had reversed the order, filling the jar with water, sand or gravel first, would you have had space for the big rocks? The answer of course is NO.

And so it is with life. We forget to look at our priorities or what we consciously want to fill our life with and the space gets filled anyway, with the gravel of demands made on our time, with the sand of taking on things that don’t belong to us, and with the water of “should’s, have to’s and must do’s”. When your days come to an end you realize that everything that is truly important simply has no space.

What are your big rocks? At a ‘being’ level they represent your intentions and your clarity regarding what you want to attract in your life. At a ‘doing’ level your big rocks represent your priorities, the things you really want to get done to forward the action on your life or your business. They would be the first items you would put into your daily agenda and they would be the items that are non-negotiable.

Here’s what happens however. Your priorities get pushed aside because you have not learned how to say NO to the demands of others or you get caught in the trap that something else looks more appealing at the moment. Now I don’t want to suggest that knowing your big rocks make you inflexible, in fact I suggest it is just the opposite. You simply want to become conscious regarding your emotional, spiritual, and physical big rocks and where they belong in your life. Once you know this, everything else, the gravel, sand and water can be placed around and you have whatever flexibility you need with that.

Knowing your big rocks is an antidote for what I refer to as spinning, being in action without being clear on why you are doing what you are doing. It is simple to plan for. In terms of being, the big rocks require simply taking a few minutes at the beginning of your day to be clear and intentional about who you want to be that day, your ripple effect, and what are the main items on your to do list. On a weekly basis, planning you big rocks ahead of time and placing them in your agenda means, this time is for this big rock and this in non-negotiable. If you give up space for one of your big rocks, you cannot get it back.

I encourage you to include scheduled ME FIRST time as one of your Big Rocks. In fact this may be the most important time you spend every day and remember, it takes on 1% of your day, or 15 minutes to begin a ME FIRST practice. Imagine if dedicating simply 15 minutes of your daily schedule was the most important Big Rock of all and imagine if this simple practice changed everything. Wow, that really would shift how the space in your life is filled and, most importantly, you would be living the life you want for you rather than the life others expect of you.

Start today – name and claim your Big Rocks!

Until next time….

Betty

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The Ripple Effect

So few people recognize the influence they actually have, whether that is among friends and family or where they work. You might be thinking to yourself, “Really. It doesn’t feel like that most of the time, in fact, I feel like I have no say what so ever.” And I understand that point of view as it is a view I once held.

My beliefs have however, shifted. The more I have studied the Law of Attraction, the more that I understand that what lives inside of me, my beliefs, my values, and my thoughts, are largely responsible for what I attract and experience in the world. According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. It is magnetic in that sense. Imagine that you are a magnet and that everything going on in your internal environment, your head and your heart, is exactly what you will draw into your life. Like attracts like.

Now you may be concerned about this because you are suddenly aware that what you have been focused on is not exactly positive, in fact it may be downright ugly and spirit depleting. No need to worry. You can change this by shifting your focus.

To begin the process imaging that you are a pebble, a beautiful multi-colored and multi-faceted one filled with vibrant energy. You are now dropped into a smooth glassy surface of water by some great universal force. Are you with me so far? As you envision this, notice what happens the moment you as a pebble strike the surface of the water. The point of contact sends out a series of ripples.

The water represents the water line of life. With you as a pebble, recognize that you get to consciously choose what energy you infuse in that waterline. You can choose to fuel those ripples with kindness, love, respect and joy or, on by contrast, with meanness, fear, judgment and ‘ich’.

Knowledge of this important ‘Ripple Effect’ is critical in shifting your life and using that old phrase ‘turning your life around’. It asks you to become consciously aware, every day, of the influence you want to have in the world. This is where your power gets fueled, for once you decide, you begin to attract a different energy from the outside world as well.

Imagine this: you wake up in the morning. Before jumping into your day, you take a few precious moments to consider the day ahead of you. Review the landscape
– who will you be with?
– what work will you be engaged in?
– what meetings will you be attending?
– what will you be doing?

Once you have a sense of what is before you, decide what your intention is for each situation. How do you want people to experience you? What do you want to add to any interaction at work?

You might decide on something like:
– I make heartfelt connections with everyone who crosses my path.
– I make a positive contribution to any projects I take on.
– I am open to new opportunities that come my way.
– I am a source of inspiration and joy.

Once you have formulated your intentions and offered them to the Universe, begin your day. Watch for the roadSIGNS, the small yet significant clues that your intentions are making a difference. And, most importantly, notice how others respond to you and how the energy around you shifts.

None of YOU are small, in fact you are much larger than you imagine. As soon as you turn your attention to living consciously and intentionally, your life begins to shift and your influence magnifies. Remember, thoughts and beliefs are intentions and if your thoughts and beliefs are tainted with the negative, your life reflects the same energy. You get to choose which field you play in, to be a beneficial influence to the world or a detrimental one. It begins with you and your intentions.

Here is my challenge to you – begin each day with intentions which are positive. You can even use the ones written above – I offer these to you. Practice doing this for 21 days (it takes 21 days to embed a new habit) and see what happens. Why not – you have nothing to lose except to begin to shift your life to a new place. Let me know what happens!

Until next time….

Betty

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Forgiveness

I heard this quote the other day, “Forgiveness does not change the past, it enlarges the future.”  It struck me as a wonderful way to express the importance of forgiveness and how forgiveness is something you really gift to yourself.

International Peace SIGN

How can we have world peace when we do not have inner peace?

Have you not, at some point in your life, heard yourself say, “I will never forgive them!” Forgiveness, or the lack of it, is something that most of us use as a tool to punish someone else. Crazy don’t you think, for the truth is that the only one that gets harmed is you. Consider one of the people on your non-forgiveness list and ask yourself just a few questions such as:

  1. When was the last time you saw them?
  2. Were they aware that you are upset with them?
  3. Do they know they are on your non-forgiveness list?
  4. How is this affecting them?

The last question may be the most important. I have come to realize that most of the friends or family members who make my list usually don’t know about it. Heck, they may no longer be among the living. So when I stop to take a look at forgiveness or the lack thereof, I am the only one who knows. Now that is just crazy because in fact, rather than hurting the other person, which is the usual motive behind non-forgiveness, it is hurting me.

Okay, time to re-assess this whole forgiveness thing. Here it is – if you have someone whom you have not forgiven, you are not hurting them, you are hurting YOU. It is you who continues to carry the anger, the hurt or the grudge, not them. It is you who feels the heart ach or stomach churning, not them. So what do you do about that. Forgive them?

That just doesn’t seem right does it? Or does it? Remember, forgiveness is for you not them.

Years ago I read a wonderful book on forgiveness by Dr. Jerald Jampolsky. One of the things he shared which really helped me is that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you agree with the actions taken by the other person. It’s simply that you forgive them and understand that they, like you, are human and prone to making mistakes. That helped me a lot because I felt that by forgiving I was condoning what they had done. The next thing he suggested was to make a list of all those people whom I had not forgiven. I can remember thinking that my list wouldn’t be very long so I began writing my list on a very small piece of paper. Once I got started, the names came pouring out and as you will have guessed, I needed a lot more paper. It is not that I am an angry person, I just allowed myself to pour it out, all those people I had felt harmed by in my life. Somehow just the act of naming them helped and I felt a huge relief.

The next step was to actually work on the forgiveness piece. This is where I learned about Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian tradition that helps you to clean up past memories and move toward forgiveness. It works like this – after writing down your list, you focus your attention on all these people and say the following:

  • I love you.
  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you

How does this work. By focusing your attention on each person and repeating this ‘mantra’ you replace the mental chatter that was filling your head about them. You allow yourself to release the transgressions you believe they committed against you and create space within you for love, generosity and more.

Oh, and by the way, the person who is often in need of the most forgiving is YOU. Haven’t you noticed how hard you are on yourself and the exacting standards of perfection to which you hold yourself? You may want to start your forgiveness journey by practicing on yourself first.

It is time you know – why would any of us want to waste time on emotions which drain us when we could be filling up with love, joy and abundance.

Until next time….

Betty