Author: Road Signs

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The Seven Habits of Highly Happy People

I have to thank Bob Carscadden for setting this one up as he spoke about this at last week’s Your Stage. It just got me thinking…

The Seven Habits of Highly Happy People:

  1. BE Happy! Too many people chase happiness or believe it is outside of themselves. It isn’t – it is simply a belief that you hold.
  2. Be Intentional – know what it is that you want and stake claim to it. Ask for it. Watch for it. Set yourself up for success and when it arrives celebrate!
  3. Build an attractive community around you. Be clear on the relationships you want in your life and release the ones that no longer lift you up.
  4. Believe in yourself. Be aware of your inner conversations and whether you are pumping yourself up or putting yourself down. Manage your critic’s voice and flip him/her into your coach’s voice.
  5. Approach life with a glass full attitude – be an optimist. See the everyday miracles around you and express gratitude for all that is right in your life.
  6. Perform Random Acts of Kindness. Notice how a simple act light people up – whether this is a smile, opening a door, helping someone cross an icy street. Notice how their response lights you up as well.
  7. Develop your NO-How. Have a clear sense of what perfect for you and what is not. Remember, you are not saying NO to others, you are saying YES to YOU!

Happy Thoughts

Now – Smile, stand tall, take a deep breath, insert happiness file into your computer, move forward.

Have a great day!

 

Betty

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Why?

I was listening to an interview on CBC with Amanda Lang regarding her recent book The Power of Why. While I have yet to read the book, I was intrigued by her comments regarding our Canadian attitude which she labelled as the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ That means, we as Canadians do not like to stand out in a crowd and as a result we shy away from being different. How does that impact us – we are typically 30% less innovative than our American counterparts, we are more hesitant to take risks and when it comes to business much more traditional.

While all of this may be fine on the surface, it leaves us lagging for the long-term. This is where WHY comes in, the curiosity to ask why we do what we do, why we continue travelling down the same path, why we resist change.

Amanda’s suggestions – start thinking like a four-year old – begin asking why!

change perspective

I think it is time to look at things differently. As Wayne Dyer says, ‘when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’.

It’s time to start asking WHY? Am I about to become really annoying?

Betty

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Conscious Communication

ConsciousCommunicationIt’s a new year!

I love this time of the year, a blank slate beckoning me. I grow excited with all the possibilities that are ahead of me. And so, I am taking this opportunity to share with you our new program Conscious Communication.

What is it? Conscious communication is an invitation to become more mindful in all aspects of your life, to forge a deeper connection with yourself and those important others around you.

It begins with your relationship with yourself, becoming consciously aware of your inner dialogue and asking yourself whether your conversations with self are spirit depleting or spirit lifting.

Next, the conversation turns to your relationship with others and assessing how present, aware and available t you are.

I am convinced that Conscious Communication is an important step for each of you to engage in this year as a means of knowing yourself and living from your strengths and as a way of forging meaningful relationships with others in both your personal and professional life.

Conscious Communication is built on a program called LUMINA LEARNING SYSTEMS, an amazing series of psychometric tools which allow you to know yourself ans see yourself through the lens of ‘the best of who your are’.

Lumina LogoFollow us in the upcoming days to learn more!

Until then…

Betty

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2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Create Your New Story

With the approach of 12-21-12 I am feeling a heightened sense of awareness. My nighst have been orchestrated by a dreamscape that has had me travelling around the world. It has been chaotic and occasionally energy depleting.

I cannot seem to make sense of it all either although one dream stuck. I am driving down a very narrow road, a steep rock face off to the right. There are road crews all around, apparently working at widening the road. I can see areas where the rock face is pulling apart, about to give way. As I look closer to examine the surface, the rock face turns into a series of tombstones.

When I awake the dream seems more of a vision and I am left wondering what it meant, what’s the metaphor. I shared the dream with Jim and then my coach Patty, exploring the imagery. Here is what emerged: the tombstones represent all the Old Stories I have travelled with in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.

In my work I have come to understand that Old Stories are frequently riddled with limiting beliefs, the voices of my inner critics, assumptions and judgments, and so much more – a complex web of stuff that simply no longer serves me. And so as I approach the New Age, a time when I pray we find peace on earth, I am tasked with making peace within. And who among us is not travelling the same path?

This is not news to me. The vision simply emphasizes that now, more than ever, a sift within me is important. I want to enter the portal of 12-21-12 with a clean slate, dismantling the clutter of many lifetimes, releasing the stories that no longer serve me and giving myself space to receive all that is in my highest good.

Here is my plan:

1)      Although I have done this many times, I plan to record the contents of my Old Stories and burn them. Ashes to Ashes….

2)      A deep meditation, filling the open space with breath, possibilities, peace, joy and prosperity

3)      A card spread, probably using OSHO Cards, guided by an intentional question to be defined

4)      Integration – a wee bit of journaling

5)      Celebration – a little dancing, chanting, singing, yelping… you get the picture

Here is one big intention for me in the New Year, to lighten up, and live from my heart more. This is my journey and my work at the moment.

My wish for you: Wonder about your Old Stories and begin to create your New Story. Remember that you do create your life – it begins with being clear about what you want. De-clutter – take a look at anything that gets in your way and find a way to send it off with the wind. Be your own best friend and guide.

first Love Yourself

Until next time…

Betty

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The Gift Certificate

The holiday season is one of those happy sad occasions, sad because those who have gone before us are no longer here to celebrate with us. It has been close to forty years since my mother passed away and yet I find myself missing her as Christmas approaches. I also like to remember the gifts that she left me and so in this week’s column I would like to share a story I wrote several years ago called the Gift Certificate.

The Gift Certificate
It came wrapped in a beautiful ribbon, jewel tones of ruby and amber and emerald threads woven into the fabric. The box was beautifully adorned with a tissue paper so delicate that I hesitated to touch it for fear of tearing the translucent skin. A hint of lavender tugged at my nose as I gently examined this beautiful package left for me deep inside my mother’s cedar chest. Someone had taken care and pleasure in wrapping this gift for me.

I pulled at the ribbon, releasing the box from its grip; the ribbons fell gently to the side, cascading around the corners of the box.  Eagerly I scratched at the paper and then, remembering its beauty, slowed myself down. I unfolded the paper carefully so as not to tear it, preserving every special touch that had been taken as it was wrapped.

As I gently peeled back the paper, the treasure held within was revealed. I reached inside and pulled from the wrapping a deep blue velvet box, you know, the type that jeweler’s use for something very fine and precious. I held it with reverence, feeling the texture on the palm of my hand, hesitating for a moment, anticipation rising in my chest. What could this be?

As I pulled back the lid, I closed my eyes, not wanting the moment to end, and then opening them, I gazed with disappointment at the contents held within. The box was empty except for a single piece of paper. Tears welled up in my eyes. I placed the box on the table in front of me and lifted the paper from its velvet nest, examining it more carefully. It was not ordinary paper but an ivory colour and textured. Across the top of the paper, embossed in beautiful gold lettering were the words Gift Certificate. This was followed by a message penned in my mother’s familiar hand.

 

My Darling Daughter;

I have wrapped this gift for you with great care for it is the legacy I leave behind and wish to offer you.

I give to you the Gift of Courage – an invitation to lead your life without fear; an invitation to pursue your dreams and live the life you choose free of the opinions and demands of others. It is an invitation to believe in yourself, never doubting that what you can conceive and believe,  you can achieve. Lastly it is an invitation to grab the brass ring of life and never let it go.

Secondly I give you the Gift of Love – of love you will always have from me even though our journey together in this lifetime has come to an end; of love for yourself – perhaps the most important gift of all; of love for others which I encourage you to give often and freely; and of love for life and all that you touch during your time here on earth.

Daughter, I also give you the Gift of Grace – the joy of living full out, free of the burden of guilt, or blame or shame; an invitation to live your life forgiving yourself of all the sins you believe you have committed against others while also releasing the sins you believe others have committed against you. See and celebrate the abundance in your life and express gratitude for all of life’s magnificence.

And finally my darling daughter, I give you the Gift of YOU – of recognizing your own beauty, your great gifts, and, perhaps most importantly, your flame, the spirit that burns deep within you.  Show this light to the world – this is the Gift of Authenticity.

Betty, will you do one thing for me? (And this is my last request of you). Live this gift as I ask and as you travel through life, give this gift freely to others; for you see my daughter, it is in the living and the giving that the true meaning of life resides.

Love

Mom

I placed the paper, now my most treasured possession, back in the velvet box, gently closed the lid, and hands resting on the top of the case, remembered my mother and the numerous other gifts she had given to me over a lifetime – patience, encouragement, a listening ear, the warmth of her arms around me, conversations over dinner, her laughter and sly sense of humor, and so much more.

These I knew were the important gifts, more important than all the material things, the toys and clothes she had also provided. And I also knew that these were the gifts that I wanted to be remembered for, to be my legacy.

This holiday season, remember the important gifts that have been given to you and consider the gifts you want to leave with others.

Until Next time…

 

Betty

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Resilience

It’s that time of year when expectations seem to mount. The Holiday Season is quickly approaching, family members are voicing their expectations of you, there’s a big sale at Sears you want to take advantage of and you just found out you have three Christmas parties booked the same evening. Match all these ‘extra’ demands with the demands of an already busy life and you may feel like you are out of breath.

So what do you do, how can you keep your sanity with all the additional demands this season seems to impose. It is meant to be a time of celebration and joy and yet as you look around you, you’re not sure there is a whole lot of that going around! Time to shift gears.

A Resilience Check-In
Here’s an opportunity to take your pulse and assess just how you are doing. You can do so by measuring your resilience, your ability to bounce back in response to added responsibility or adversity and not become overwhelmed. Take a look at the following statements and give yourself a score from 1, I strongly disagree to 5, I strongly agree.

I remind   myself every day of the things I have accomplished. 1 2 3 4 5
I am able   to take things in stride and remain calm in most circumstances. 1 2 3 4 5
I have the   ability to handle a number of different things at the same time. 1 2 3 4 5
I have a   strong sense of what my priorities are and put these first. 1 2 3 4 5
I know   when to say ‘NO’ and stick to my guns, even when others may not like my   answer. 1 2 3 4 5
I am able   to laugh at myself and circumstances when things don’t go as planned. 1 2 3 4 5
I have a   strong sense of my core values and purpose, engaging these to guide me   through each day. 1 2 3 4 5
I am   resourceful and can find my way out of most difficult situations. 1 2 3 4 5

Add up your score – you will have a range for 8 to 40. While this is not a scientifically valid questionnaire, you can use your score to understand the degree to which you are handling the demands of your life. A score close to 8 suggests you are approaching overwhelm, perhaps feeling frantic, fatigued or even postponing the things that need to be done. A score close to 40 suggests you are dealing with the day to day easily and effortlessly and coasting into the holiday season. Most of us will most likely score mid-range.

This is not a diagnostic, just a notice, and as you notice where you fall, let me offer you some strategies for managing the approaching holiday season in a way that will assure you that Joy and Celebration care the main theme.

Holiday ‘Sanity’ Tips:

  1. At the end of the day, bring your attention to all the things you accomplished during the day. You may notice that your habit is the opposite, focusing on what you did not get done. Stop that!
  2. Give yourself time during the day to come up for air – that may mean sitting at your desk and taking a few deep breaths, closing your eyes for a short meditation or going for a 10 minute walk.
  3. Be planful. Look at your days and make sure you identify your priorities. These are your big rocks. Once these are achieved, other things fall easily into place.
  4. When you are faced with decisions regarding your time and various commitments during the holiday season and the upcoming weeks, let your intuition guide you. Say NO to what does not serve you. This will make your YES’s much more powerful.
  5.  Learn to laugh at yourself over the innocent mistakes. Little damage is done in most cases and laughing goes a long way to disperse any negative energy.
  6. Take some time to identify your core values. Your values are the guiding principles by which you choose to live. They help you to say NO and to choose the direction in which you want to move.
  7. Simplify – attend fewer events and buy fewer gifts. Focus on the meaning of the season.
Know your NO’s

The holiday season can be challenging or easy – the choice is really yours. Make this your best holiday season ever by making perfect choices for you. Pass this gift along to others.

Until next time,

Betty

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Friends

I am very much a believer that we have some friends for a reason, others for a season, and some for a lifetime. This notion of friendship had been on occasion challenging for me. As a very loyal person, the idea of having friends only for a reason or a season has been a hurdle for me to climb. That said, as I grow older, I recognize the value in all friendships and the many lessons I have learned from those I have attracted to me during this journey.

This past week my dear friend Betty Jones left us. I have known Betty only a few years meeting her for the first time in 2007 when we travelled to Townsend, Tennessee to facilitate to tw-day retreat. She was known to me beforehand, fondly referred to as Colonel Betty. Her sub-title was a bit intimidating and I wondered who I was about to meet.

Sight unseen, Betty invited us into her home. The person who greeted us was not military. Rather we were greeted by large warm, brown eyes, an open, curious face, and southern hospitality that would make even the friendliest Canadian pale. Yes she was retired military, a nurse with an MBA, formerly the head of the nursing corp under the surgeon general of the United States. Impressive, yet this was just a mention for her current focus was working on Obama’s plan to extend health care benefits to all Americans. She was in her own way, a social activist, go-getter, health advocate and all around energetic vortex.

Her own health had had a few challenges including a heart attack and stroke, although neither had the capacity to slow her down. On our last visit to Townsend we were out with her on the trails of the Great Smokey mountains. An experienced hiker knowledgeable about the lesser known trails, we wandered the woods taking in a feast of spring flowers. Although seemingly lost at one point she simply reassured us that she knew exactly where we were and to just follow her. We did. She was a leader in so many ways!

Highly spiritual, a seeker, always curious – this is how I came to know her. Her home looking out over the Great Smokeys below, became our southern respite.

Janice, Denine, Betty Jones, Jim – the Happy Hikers, March 2012

Betty’s daily  intention was to live large, love lots and die fast. After a monthly luncheon with her best friends, Betty felt fatigued and unwell. She left a few hours later.

I am better for knowing you Betty and I celebrate your life. And while I am sad you left us too soon, and that I had hoped our friendship would continue for years, I am grateful our paths crossed.

For all of you who have lost friends or family in the last period of time, I encourage you to acknowledge your sadness while celebrating the gifts the other person gave you. Celebrate their life. This is not the end, in fact it is a new beginning, a continuation of life in another form. As humans, we become so attached to the human form.  We need to remember that the spirit is so much more and lingers with us always.

Until next time…

 

Betty

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Failure is NOT an Option!

None of us wants to admit that we have failed at something and yet, in my view, failure is not an option. It will happen at some point in your life. So perhaps the issue is not whether you fail or not but how you deal with failure when it happens.

Let me propose an alternate thesis to what you can do when you fail versus what you most likely have been doing. Most of you will travel the path of self-recrimination coupled with ample doses of self-criticism. The option – treat failure as a time of celebration.

Before you throw something at me, let me explain the process. Take a moment and turn back the clock of time. Remember the many great lessons you have learned from life. As you do a quick life review, recall the two or three greatest lessons you have learned from your life experience to date. Ask yourself this: ” Did I learn this from a great success or from a significant failure?”

My guess is, that if you are really honest with yourself, failure will be the word that comes up. Here are some of my examples:

–      That time in university where partying and play overtook my desire to study and I almost failed my year. I had never faced the possibility of failure before –it shook me to the core when that ’D’ appeared on my transcript. Suddenly I had a new-found respect for the need to study and my desire to complete my degree.

–      Or that time not so long ago when I accepted a full-time job even when my intuition was telling me not to go there. My intuition was right – the job was not a perfect fit. Giving it up after 9 months felt like failure (I don’t give up!) and I learned some very valuable lessons. I remembered why I had started my own business and that I did not want to work for anyone else any more. I gained some extraordinary business wisdom which I have since applied to my own organization.

–      Or that time where Jim and I drifted too far apart in our relationship and almost lost our way. This may have been my strongest sense of failure ever. I really believe is us and our marriage. Facing this failure down taught me everything I needed to know about re-building our relationship to where we are today.

There have also been numerous business failures – poor investments of money and time, bad decisions regarding training approaches – the list go on.

Failure makes us human. More importantly, other than offering us life’s most important lessons, it also offers contrast.

In ME FIRST vocabulary contrast is what you need to have so you can decide what you really want. Failure represents what it is you don’t want to repeat or to attract on a regular basis. With the experience of failure you can turn things around and define what it is you want to fill your life with. I enjoy looking at my own life through the lens of, “Well that was less than perfect’ and then imagining what it is I would rather have.

Failure is just like that – it shows you what you don’t want. Here’s the good news – you get to choose again!.

That said are you ready now to bless your failures? Okay, maybe that is going too far so let me suggest a slight modification. Here is it: Everything you have experienced in life is perfect.

Still a stretch?

I’ll explain – you are the sum total of all of your life experiences. You are the person you are today because of what you have experienced which includes both successes and failures. If you agree that life’s’ great lessons stem from your failures, then they are perfect events in your life. They taught you what you needed to know. There no longer is any need to feel guilt or remorse over something that happened in the past. Simply chalk it up to experience and be grateful it happened.

Here’s the deal. If you want to learn and grow and expand and reach for more, failure is NOT an option. If you can learn to bless the failures, see them as lessons and laugh at yourself a little more, you are going to be far healthier and happier. The thing is, you get to choose how you respond. Choose well for YOU!

Until next time,

Betty

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Invite in the WIND!

Just as the wind from Sandy blew into our region last evening, catapulting me forward as I drove down the 401, new opportunities have been blowing into my life and business. It is a great time in life, especially when you are open to what is possible rather than planning all the details. Of course I set the scene when Jim and I sat down mid-September and created our Strategic Attraction Plan (SAP) for the upcoming year.

Strategic Attraction
For years clients and colleagues have asked me about running a business and what makes a business successful. I simply say, Strategic Attraction Planning. I know you have all heard of a Strategic Plan, something that is considered an essential ingredient for any successful business. A secret, I’ve never had one ! What I have instead is my SAP. So what’s the difference? Strategic Attraction as the name suggests, is about engaging the Law of Attraction strategically in your business. It has four sections to it:

  1. The qualities and characteristics of your perfect customer/client
  2. What makes you, as  a business person/entrepreneur ‘tick’ – why you do what you do
  3. What you want – we call this clarity, setting your business intentions
  4. Who do you BE –  understanding that everything you want from life begins within you and your energy

That’s different than a regular Strategic Plan!

Intentions and Goals
Intentions and goals are frequently confused. A simple explanation is that an intention is open-ended. It states what you want yet is not fixed on a specific outcome. Example: I am attracting my perfect healthy body. Notice that you have not specified how this will happen or what you specifically mean by that. You are leaving the solution open-ended and as a result, give yourself permission to attract something you may not have considered otherwise.

Goals on the other hand specify an outcome. For example: I plan to lose 10 pounds, begin the new diet and go to the gym 3 nights a week. You have already decided on the solutions and fix your attention to the scales, what you eat and working out. Boring !

In business I have found that intentionality is far more powerful than goals. That’s not to say I don’t have any goals as most of the projects I work on have deadlines and deliverables. At the same time my intentions have opened up possibilities for me I never would have considered. You have to love that.

Who You BE
We all have a slightly skewed view of who we are. I have long been a believer of taking every opportunity to learn more about ME and to understand my strengths and what makes m unique. Knowing these things about yourself helps you to engage those strengths and focus on what you do well. Too often you do the opposite – you focus on improving your weaknesses. Trust me this does not work. Whatever you focus on grows! Don’t you want to grow your strengths?

So where do you start; what can you do. One of the tools I love, and which recently blew into our lives is a learning system called Lumina. It offers you the opportunity to complete a self-assessment questionnaire which then generates a Spark Portrait which is all about you. You learn about the four colour energies and how you play in them, the eight aspects and twenty-four qualities of personality and, most importantly, your strengths. Of course the added benefit is that, the more you learn about you, the more you learn about others.

Invite in the WIND
For me the WIND signifies Welcoming In New Discovery. Investing in yourself, is an investment in your life, your work and if you are like me, your business. With the wind comes new air to breathe, new knowledge of self and of course new life opportunities.

I invite you to stand outside, open your arms, feel yourself fly in the WIND, and imagine where your journey is headed. Who knows where you might land next?

Upcoming opportunities

Celebrate Your Strengths – Lumina Spark on November 13th,  Cornwall, Ontario and Strategic Attraction Planning on December 1st, 2012, Tigh Shee Retreat Center. To find out more contact Betty at betty@roadSIGNS.ca or go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/programs/upcoming-events.html.

If you are interested in completing your Lumina Spark Portrait contact betty@roadSIGNS.ca.

Until Next time;

Betty