I have always prided myself on being planful – it’s simply the way to get things done. There are long range plans for the next five years and short range plans for the next 2 weeks. It’s makes life so easy when life is planned – you are in control.
CONTROL – am I really in control? Does planning really eliminate worry and make life a smooth running road? NO. Control therefor may simply be an illusion. I am considering this.
And all this planning … perhaps this needs to be re-examined. In one of our coaching programs recently, one of the participants noted that she was spending so much time planning, she was not living. Who’s the coach? I heard the comment and it dove deeply right to the core. I was left with the questions, “Am I living?” Am I so concerned about having control and planning my life that I have forgotten to simply BE in the moment?
The thing about planning is that it also limits choice. Take a look at it for yourself. You have your life planned and your eye on the ball. You know where it is and you are heading in the direction you have chosen for YOU. It’s all perfect and the ducks are lined up a in a row. BORING! (Yes, I have said this to myself as well!)
When you are overly planful, it’s a bit like walking through life with blinders on. You are so focused on the goals you have set for yourself; you cannot see what is in your peripheral vision. You eliminate unnecessary ‘distractions’, you don’t see the SIGNS crossing your path and in many ways, you are cheating yourself of some rich, playful and interesting experiences. Life is happening around you and you are simply not in life.
Control freak or control free? What would be the benefits of less planning and more being? I have pondered this question since the moment the questions was posed. Did I mention that the person asking the question was only 17? Darn, don’t you hate it when the young are so wise, when they see the obvious and end up teaching you life’s most important lessons!
Here is the lesson for me and I am thinking for anyone reading this column. We all need to:
- Lighten up and be a little more in the flow of life
- Live more and plan less
- Be aware of what is happening on the side lines, in our peripheral vision
- Become more present in today and less concerned about tomorrow
- Pay attention to the SIGNS crossing our path and be curious about what they mean
- Relax, breathe and wonder what life might be like if we were control free.
I am sure that like me, you have heard the phrase living in the moment. I totally agree. So why is it I find it so difficult to simply be present, in this moment and feeling what I feel rather than planning the rest of today, tomorrow and all the days after that?
Here is my new morning ritual – setting my intentions for today. They are not plans; they are more akin to how I want to feel and the experience I am attracting during the day. I know the ‘plans’ are in my agenda and I am giving myself permission to relax and breathe into them. This feels different and I am beginning to encounter the shift from control freak to control free.
Here’s the other notice – life is flow. Control is an illusion (oops – who knew!). Back to flow – there’s lots of things to take a look at and enjoy when everything is not pre-planned. And for some reason everything in the plans still gets done. It is amazing how this works.
Back to you – control freak or control free – it’s a choice!
Until next time,
Betty
When things aren’t ducks in a row, I always think that people are waiting for more important things to see or do or even worse waiting for more interesting people to talk to or do stuff with. When the day is disrupted because someone needs you and wants you or something else has to be taken care of for a hundred different reasons there is that time in the evening where I look at what happened or was completed or started and sigh. What is the good or luck even at being a planner when the world subcribes to bedlum. We may look like ants from afar getting the tasks done but really we are not on any trail, what we don’t get most of the time is that we are on a journey with unknown distination or outcome. This could be fun and full of laughter and joy, sense of adventure. I think my intention for everyday to come is a sense of adventure with no parameters, there in lies the possibility for open heart and belly laughting.