Year: 2021

Posted on by — 1 Comment

Word of the Year

2022 is approaching and as with the arrival of any new year, most of us open the doors of this new year with hope and anticipation. And given the past two years, I believe most of us also have a dream for an end to this global pandemic and a return to a more normal existence, albeit a new ‘normal’. And finally, it is a time to check in with ourselves to understand what it is we want to attract to us, create in our lives, begin or end, achieve, explore and more.

While I no longer believe in setting New Year’s Resolutions or goals, I do appreciate time to take inventory, consider what is next and mindfully engage the energy that I want for myself, my loved ones and the planet. This year, in an effort to change it up somewhat, I have a new strategy: identifying my Word for the Year.

The concept is not new to me. I have been asked many times in the past, by colleagues, what my word is. Honestly, I had never given it any consideration. This past year a colleague of mine, Dimple Mukherjee, wrote a book Word of the Year- True Stories about Intentional Living Using the Power of a Single Word. While this remains on my reading list, I do understand what she means. Choosing a word, and endeavoring to live it daily, holding it in your consciousness, is the same as setting and living an intention. This I know to be powerful from my own experience.

Great! So how do I choose one word to live by? As intention would have it, I attracted an exercise which would help me choose and now, I offer this to you. Here we go….

Step One: reflect on the last year and ask yourself, what could I use more or less of in my life? What would be a game changer for me?

Okay, WOW! What a year it has been. I attracted amazing new work with women, learned more about self-compassion and divine feminine energy, built new relationships (on ZOOM), settled fully into my new life in Cornwall. I feel excited, engaged, lit up, inspired, compassionate and so much more. What was missing: travel, adventure, face to face time with family and friends, freedom, exploring new places. What would be a game changer for me? I am reflecting on this.

Step Two: Visualize how you want to feel at work, throughout the day and when you go to bed. Meditate or sit in silence and ask yourself, what do I want to focus on in 2022?

What immediately comes up for me is an intention I set for my “retirement” – I want to feel excited, lit-up, inspired and engaged. I want to feel that my actions make a difference for others and the planet. I want to exercise my creative juices and my curiosity. I do not see any of these things changing in the months and years to come. I also want to feel increasingly curious, have opportunities to exercise my learning and accrued wisdom, and open up to new possibilities.

Step Three: Create a List of words that come to mind. Let them flow, do not edit or stop yourself. Do not doubt that you can have anything you want, now write….

Here is my short list: beauty, adventure, inspiration, joy, compassion, love, freedom, courage, grace, abundance, gratitude, community, opportunity, travel, meaning, engagement, divine, wisdom, hope, bounty, being, caring, fortitude, health, wholeness, spirit, connection,….

Step Four: Review and refine your list and narrow it down to your three favorite words. How do you decide? What words jump out at you? Make you feel happy, sad, excited? Go…

My three: adventure, joy, gratitude

How do you decide? First read the list and highlight what pops out, triggers a feeling, engages you. Next ask what precedes others, for example joy, love and compassion…If am joyful does love and compassion naturally follow? Have fun. And guess what, there are no poor choices.

Step Five: Ask yourself, “which word can you say you are 100% committed to? Now choose.

My word of the year: Adventure

I have to admit this choice leaves me a little breathless as it feels like it opens new doors that I have yet to explore. At the same time, it feels like a natural progression to being engaged and inspired.

Step Six: Live your WORD.

Suffice it to say, this may be the most difficult step as it really does require calling in the word every day, seeing it, feeling it, intending it.

A few intentional examples:
My life is an adventure.
My work is revealing new adventures and opportunities.
I am attracting adventure in the many aspects of my life.
I am mindfully noticing the adventure in my life and expressing gratitude for those moments.
I see adventure easily and effortlessly.
Adventure fuels my other life experiences.

As with any intention, you will need to pay attention to how your WORD shows up, changes your life, invited you to change or respond. And when life offers you, opportunities related to your WORD, you will also need to be curious and explore the possibilities.

Thanks to Rashita Jones and her SKETCHNOTE for Finding your Word of the Year. I hope you have some fun with this, play, imagine and then live you ‘word intention’.

Blessings for a fulfilling 2022.

Betty Healey, MEd. CAPP

Posted on by — 1 Comment

Healing

Are you finding these times we are currently in challenging? I am. When the COVID Pandemic began in March 2020 I felt a global shift, a re-unification of the people around the world as we turned our eyes toward a common enemy. As restrictions began, it felt like a time out, an opportunity to push the refresh button, a chance to pause, reflect, re-appraise and re-think the choices we were making.

It is true that none of us could have imagined what would follow – a second, third and now forth wave. And with each wave the energy experienced at the beginning shifted and re-shaped itself into something less loving, less compassionate and certainly less unifying.

Today, despite more optimism and fewer restrictions, it seems like anger and judgment linger. All of us are guilty as society divided into the ‘pro’ and ‘anti’ camps.  And here we linger. Can we stop? Can we heal? Can we once again come together?

This past Friday evening I attended a concert. Susan Algukark, a Canadian Inuit singer, performed, someone I have followed since she first became known to me in the 1990’s. Her music and lyrics move me. Like many of our indigenous people, she has embarked on a journey of healing and her song lyrics reflect this. One that she shared during the concert is O Siem, the lyrics of which are particularly relevant today:

O Siem, we are all family
O Siem, we’re all the same
O Siem, the fires of freedom
Dance in the burning flame

Siem o siyeya, all people rich and poor
Siem o siyeya, those who do and do not know
Siem o siyeya, take the hand of one close by
Siem o siyeya, of those who know because they try
And watch the walls come tumbling down

Siem o siyeya, all people of the world
Siem o siyeya, it’s time to make the turn
Siem o siyeya, a chance to share your heart
Siem o siyeya, to make a brand new start
And watch the walls come tumbling down

“A chance to share you heart, to make a brand new start and watch the walls come tumbling down”. Susan is a gift, an amazing troubadour of healing, a messenger for all of us. Healing and reconciliation, the energy all of us need to embrace to heal ancient wounds with our indigenous people and, if I may suggest, with one another. We need to heal, we need to forgive, we need to once again believe in community and country and the greater good for all. Most importantly we all need to wake up, turn off the news and look across the table at our neighbours and once again have civil, compassionate and loving dialogue.

I understand this may not be easy. I don’t agree with the actions some of my friends and colleagues have taken during the past months. And yes, I judge some of these actions as careless, thoughtless, uninformed and….. All these feelings have absolutely thrown me for a loop. These are emotions that are contrary to my nature and have fueled my own anger and resentment. And I want to stop. Don’t you?

Where do we begin the healing process?

It happens that I am currently involved in teaching a program on self-compassion. Yes, life always provides opportunity to learn what you need to learn, especially when you are the teacher. And as it turns out self-compassion is the first step on the healing journey. It allows me to look at that side of me that I dislike, bless her, forgive her, and move into action differently. I am not denying anything, I am accepting myself warts and all, learning and choosing a new path.

Self-compassion seeds compassion and kindness for others. One of the aspects of the self-compassion model, developed by Kristin Neff, is common humanity. In other words, we are not alone. Most of us have been struggling with the same inner demons and reacting in ways we had not expected during these somewhat challenging times. Everyone is affected, albeit differently. As a result, we need to grow our tolerance for the differences and begin to forgive one another.

Let’s also be clear. Forgiveness does not mean we suddenly agree with what others say and do. It is, as Ken Blanchard said in the One-Minute Manager, judge the act not the person. Forgiveness is also a gift we offer to ourselves, perhaps even more than for others. When we forgive, we lift the weight we have been carrying on our shoulders and, in our hearts, we cultivate kindness and understanding, we may disagree but we stop judging, we begin to build bridges.

Care to join me?

Until Next time,

Betty Healey, MEd., CAPP

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Pandemic Pandemonium

I admit, the most recent lock-down sent me spiraling to places I prefer not to mention and thinking in language not suited for this column. I am human after all. Wisely my husband, who is a ‘live in the moment’ kinda guy, reminded me that my planning instincts and thinking about all my tomorrows are not really serving me well. The future is a complete unknown at this point and when I consider it, my nose dive into the wilderness of uncertainty creates a lot of inner chaos. I know living in the moment, considering today and what it has to offer, is my best option. Now to train my mind.

Of course, outside all of this pandemonium, there has been plenty of time to read, reflect, observe the signs or Sacred Synchronicities, and of course learn, so here are a few of the gems that have appeared on the screen of my life over the last month.

Bouncing Back or Forward
One of my favorite people to catch up with during these times is my friend and fellow coach Aileen. Hailing from Aberdeen Scotland, I admit I am also attracted to her Scottish Brogue and the way she expresses herself. In a recent conversation we were discussing resilience, the importance of self-care, gratitude and bounce. Okay, self-care and gratitude are well known to me I thought, but bounce? Aileen went on to share that she is curious about the question “what is your bounce?’ Typically we think about bouncing back, meaning that we are able to recover from difficult challenges easily and hopefully, effortlessly. She explained that make we don’t want to ‘bounce back’, we might want to ‘bounce forward’.

I admit, this got me thinking. When all is said and done and we consider all the lessons learned form these COVID times, do we really want to bounce back? It implies that we are returning to the way things were rather than moving forward. And let’s face it, things are simply not the same. The times have changed, society has changed and we have changed. Maybe we do want to bounce forward and, given that we have the opportunity now to reflect on what this might look like, perhaps we can begin to consider how we want to be in the world from this point forward. Hummmmm!

Questions from Tina
Can I just say that I have met amazing people from around the globe through the years. Tina,a Chicagoan,  now living in San Francisco, shared in a recent Facebook post the following questions:
– What is my truth now?
– How can I show up for myself more?
– What am I ready to allow myself to ….?
– On what do I want to invest my energy? Attention?
– What are my intentions for this season?

Rilke wrote the following about questions:  Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. I love the idea of living my way into questions rather than demanding an answer. This is what I have been doing with Tina’s questions – reading them, savouring them, considering them and knowing that as I do so, answers are appearing. I offer them to you with the same intent.

Personal Infrastructure
I am a self-avowed fan of Huff Post and Adrianna Huffington. Two Sundays ago, in her weekly column, she described an idea which again, ding-ding, felt like an Ah-Ha moment, upgrading our personal infrastructure. I say what?

Okay, we all hear about infrastructure, you know the roads, bridges, sewer systems, electrical grids and more that are aging at an exponential rate and how government needs to dedicate time and resources to upgrading them or society will disintegrate. Phew, but how does that apply to us?

Again, she asked a few questions (I know, stop with the questions already!):
– Is your infrastructure in need of repair?
– How solid is your foundation of well-being?
– Does the architecture of your day and your space allow you regeneration time?
– Do the walls between your work and the rest of your life need shoring up or rebuilding?
– Is technology ruling your life?

I thought these to be really important questions to consider given the circumstances many people find themselves in – working from home, blurred boundaries between home and work life, technology invading every corner of life with the addition of Zoom and similar platforms, flexible schedules and where are you in the schedule, and more.

I am somewhat fortunate as I have had a home office for the last 24 years and had the luxury of learning boundaries early on before technology took over. Never the less screen time occupies a portion of everyday from social media to meetings to family conferences to friend time replacing the many face to face encounters of the past. It can and is overwhelming. So it is time to consider my infrastructure, whether my foundation needs repair or shoring up, and what my boundaries are. This is an important exercise for each of us to examine and address as who knows how long these circumstances will continue.

Finally, Pandemic Pandemonium
It is easy to drop into the downside of all the restrictions imposed on us at the moment. I am not immune to impatience and frustration. At the same time, this time and space offers great opportunity to see the SIGNS, reflect, consider and learn.

Pandemonium, defined as wild and noisy disorder or confusion; uproar describes fully the chaos we have been thrust into. And in the chaos lives change and growth.

Until next time, Betty Healey

Posted on by — 1 Comment

Words To Live By

There are so many speeches being given these days, words and more words. Some may say rhetoric. And as we know words can inspire and they can incite. Words can be uplifting and they can be damaging and soul burning. And, although we teach that words represent only a small percentage of any communication interaction, they continue to carry power.

Despite the ‘rhetoric’ I am a lover of words. The turn of a phrase, a silly pun, a stunning metaphor, or simply a well written piece of journalism. Words deliver me from the doldrums, lift me up, carry me on new adventures and to new places, and introduce me to new ideas and possibilities. It saddens me when words are used by pundits to damage, coerce, misinform or rule. Ah, but there in lies the power of the word.

Suffice it to say I have given some thought to the words I choose to live by. As a consultant, coach and facilitator words are essential. Spurred on by a column I read last Sunday, I decided to look back and to ask myself, ‘What are the words I live by?’ What are the phrases, poems, and quotes that inspire me and serve as my guidance, which become imbedded in my work and how I live? Here we go….

Be the change you wish to see in the world….Gandhi
When I left healthcare after 25 years to begin my own business, I had only a sense of what I wanted to achieve. I did not have a masterplan, or for that matter a business plan. I simply had a knowing that I needed to be engaged in work that had meaning and purpose and which lifted others up. As I launched into my consulting practice, at the time focused on team and leadership development, I began to read, and read, and read. Leadership, self-help, spiritual, business books, basically anything that seemed relevant. The year after we launched roadSIGNS, Jim and I decided to take a month-long sabbatical from life, and to celebrate 25 years of marriage, and rented a cottage in rural PEI. I took a suitcase of books with me and dedicated much of the time to exploring words.

Be the change… It seemed that every book I picked up, regardless of genre, contained these words. I am not sure that initially I understood, but like a hammer to one’s head, the message finally seeped in. The foundation of Law of Attraction (unknown to me at the time) – whatever I desired to teach, offer or coach in others had to live within me. I needed to change before I could create change.

WOW! This was an AHA moment! This continues to be my credo.

Our deepest fear….Marianne Williamson
Early in my consulting days I was introduced the Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. The famous quote used by Nelson Mandela in his inauguration speech, comes for this book:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The final two lines of this piece, “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”, have been another anchor for me. As my own work evolved I came to a point where I wanted to dedicate my work to enabling others to find their light and see themselves lovingly, these words have been my fuel. And of course, like Gandhi’s words, it meant I needed to see my own light and allow it to shine before coaching others to do so. Holding my hand to the fire!

I will not die an unlived life… Dawna Markova
Shortly before leaving health care, I had the opportunity to meet Dawna, then a consultant with Peter Senge’s The Learning Organization Group. We became colleagues, meeting at conferences a few times. Then she disappeared off the radar for a while, although to be fair she told me she was retreating to write. The result was her book, I Will Not Die and Unlived Life.

The book, inspired by a poem she had written years before, was a read which like Return to Love, changed my life. The poem however, remains a short powerful instrument in and of itself:

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid, more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance;
to live so that which came to me as a seed goes to the next as a blossom
and that which came to me as a blossom, goes on as fruit.

This poem has been an invitation to live boldly, to take risks, to listen to what my intuition and spiritual guidance impart to me without fear of what others think. These words have given me permission to pursue dreams I did not even know I had.

Thoughts become things…Mike Dooley
I have been a student of the Law of Attraction for many years, hence the reference to ‘be the change’. I also subscribe to Mike Dooley’s Messages from the Universe which arrive daily in my inbox. And at the bottom of every message is the quote, thoughts become things.

I love it frankly, a daily reminder to check in with the inner dialogue, to assess what I am telling myself and what I am thinking and to renovate the thought stream if it is warranted. I have learned that when my thoughts and desires are clear, I can manifest. Thoughts do become things.

Highest Good
I am not sure of the source of these two words. What I do know for sure is that they serve as a comfort when I am confused, anxious, fearful, lost. I set the simple intention, “I am attracting what is in my highest good.”

In the last year alone, these simple words have seen me through many things, including the sale of our country home and finding a new place to live, making our way home from Portugal in March after the state of emergency was declared, significant downsizing and too many decisions to count. It may sound crazy but I simply feel that those words allow me to ask for help and share responsibility with a higher power.

There are other words and phrases that inspire me every day, books which have played a huge role in how I evolved our work through the years. I plan to share more of this as I launch into another year of blogging. While new books come on the market every day, the latest and the greatest and novel concepts, I am inherently aware that there really is no new knowledge. Simply said, new books re-frame what we already know. I have decided to go back to my favorites, look at the highlighted bits and reflect on how these words have guided me.

I encourage you to do the same. What are your words to live by?

Until next time….

Betty