Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to say something positive about yourself? There is an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach and perhaps even the image of a wagging finger, usually attached to a parent or teacher, reminding you that to speak of yourself in such terms is EGO-CENTRIC! Bah. Humbug.
As a result most of us are inclined to put ourselves down rather than pump ourselves up, for to do otherwise would be bragging. Okay, it is time to switch this story up. Enough, I say! It’s time that WE, you and I, begin to see ourselves through a different lens and to take stock of all the great things we offer the world around us. By this I mean acknowledging yourself for those aspects of you that make YOU UNIQUE.
Here’s an opportunity and an exercise if you are interested. Take a blank piece of paper and fill the page with all of your accomplishments. Notice that these may have to do with work and they may be things that were simply personal successes for you. They may reflect the role you play in your family or with your friends or they may refer to your creativity, courage or simply your interests. It really doesn’t matter just note that an accomplishment is something personally meaningful to you and may not be of any real significance to others.
Once your list is completed, review the list. Notice those accomplishments or achievements that were the most meaningful to you, perhaps a time where you felt you grew as a person or where you stepped out of your comfort zone. You decide. Choose 3-4 then write a short story about that time in your life. It does not have to be long, simply capture the essence of the event, what happened and how you felt. What strengths of character came into play; what values guided you; what did others notice?
When the stories are written, read them aloud to yourself. I know this sounds funny and adding voice to a story is very powerful, especially when it is about you. Read it as if it is about another person if you have to. And, by the way, if you can share it with someone else, even better. Following the sharing ask them what they noticed about you.
The goal of this activity is to begin to notice where and when you shone in your life. This has nothing to do with ego and has everything to do with YOU seeing YOU. Take note of the skills you used in the situation, the strengths that you have and the values you engaged. Then pat yourself on the back for having made a difference for yourself or for someone else.
The next step is to begin to see how you engage these same strengths and skills every day, to notice how you play in the world, how you interact with others and most importantly, how you make a difference. You will notice that most of the time you focus on what you haven’t done versus what you have achieved. Ah that – your fatal flaw. Please note: when you focus on the positive aspects of your character and contributions you attract more opportunity to do the same. Vice versa, when you focus on the character flaws, you will attract ample opportunity to continue to examine them. Where do you want to play?
Next is acknowledgement. In our ME FIRST work we suggest that acknowledgement is the highest form of gratitude. It is a little bit like a quiet prayer to your higher power saying thank you for giving me the aptitude and talent to do what I do, to be what I be, every day. Each of you was born as a unique individual and whether you recognize it or not, each of you makes a unique contribution when you use those gifts. Have you ever expressed gratitude for all the things you were born with?
Here is how you begin. Simply say to yourself, “I acknowledge myself for…” It’s that simple. You don’t have to shout it from the mountain top you can start by saying it to yourself in the mirror. It may feel uncomfortable at first as your critical choir hums, “Yeah right!” Ignore them and keep on going. They are out of date anyway!
Next, sit with a few of your friends and share this message with them. You can start by acknowledging one another. Be as specific as possible. For example, instead of saying, “Sue I acknowledge you for being a good mom”, say “Sue I acknowledge you for the way you handled your son’s mishap at school. You were really kind and understanding and a really good role model for me.” The have each member of your circle acknowledge themselves. Again, be as detailed as possible.
If you have a daily gratitude practice, add in 2-3 self-acknowledgements as part of this. Start today as it is time for you to see YOU and your unique ability to influence the world around you.
Until next time,
Betty