I have been vacationing in Miami Beach for the last two weeks, my first Florida vacation. It did seem a bit strange, vacationing in a city rather than in the country side which has been our habit. Now that I reside in the country the city scape was a pleasant experience and I have to say that Miami is a beautiful place.
Back to the idea of vacation, I find it remarkable that once I begin to relax and sink into my days, the anxieties of day-to-day living evaporate. A new rhythm is established for living the moments of each day. Suddenly there is space for me as well as all those important dreams and ideas that get pushed aside in the normal pace of life.
Early last week I had one of my dream visions. These are more vivid and real than normal dreams and tend to stay with me. I assume that is because they have some deeper meaning and that perhaps the Universe is attempting to communicate something important to me. In this dream I found a child, very young, cold, craving attention, curious. I immediately slipped into my mothering role, hovering over the infant, hugging and loving her. The child seemed to be in need of my care, underdeveloped and undernourished. In the few minutes of this dream the relationship between me and the child grew very intense and I awoke with a start, wondering what the dream meant, assessing whether I was being called in some way to work with children.
I have learned that my dreams, and probably yours, are metaphors for something deeper and as such, need not be interpreted literally. They are simply images of something missing in life or of something to come. Rarely do they mean exactly what they seem. With this in mind I relaxed and simply lay in bed with the images and the feelings that the dream conjured up. As I did so I began to wonder about the child and whether child I had found was me, Betty-Jane.
While I have been away I have given myself the opportunity of writing and coloring in our new ME FIRST Playbook. (It’s always a good idea to use the tools you create for others!). I have a full set of colored pencils and using them I have immersed myself in filling in the images created by Tracy Lynn for the Playbook. As a child I loved to draw and color, in fact my mother often told me that I was drawing as soon as I understood how to hold a pencil. The act of coloring kick starts the brain differently. It is rather mindless as an activity yet it is mind opening as it allows you to banish other thoughtform and create space for your child to emerge. The child’s energy is about wonder, curiosity and creativity and of course, playfulness. It is about the dreams you had about who you would become when you grew up, some of which you may have realizes while other were buried.
As I lingered under the covers with my dream memory, I saw myself again as a child with my friends Muriel and Charmaine. On warm summer days, we created castles out of blankets and lawn chairs. In the rooms of our creations we lined up all our dolls. Here was where I taught my first lessons and the dolls were the very best students. There is something in each of us that understands very early in life what we are called to do in our life. Teaching was my calling. It was not the career I chose initially however and one I have come back to.
I am still considering what else the dream was showing me and I am left with the question “where did Betty-Jane go and what dreams did she have that I have forgotten?” It is a great question to consider, not for the purpose of digging up the past but rather to wonder what your child spirit most desired and whether this desire serves you now in your life.
My childhood was interrupted when my parents separated. I can mourn this or I can give myself permission to simply unlock the door on Betty-Jane’s room and let her out to play, to re-capture her child energy and to embrace her qualities of curiosity and creativity.
Imagine if you did the same. Why not extend a hand to your child energy and invite her/him out to play with you once again. What would you remember about you? What are the dreams you had as a child and how have these manifested? If they haven’t, why not realize them now? It is never too late.
Remember that your child knew you in many ways better than you know yourself; she knew you before all the rules of the world were piled on your shoulders. Create some space in your life to have a visit with your Betty-Jane.