I have noticed that there are things I really want to attract in life that simply don’t happen and I find myself wondering why? As I pondered this question the other day, a roadSIGN appeared in the form of a question. The question: Am I saying YES to me?

I had to take a step back as I considered my answer. Here I am a coach for others, reminding my clients to be clear on their boundaries, both personal and professional and the importance of saying NO when NO is the right answer. I often use my favorite Jack Canfield quote to facilitate this, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me.” There it is, saying YES to me, but am I ?

Here is what I have noticed. I don’t give myself permission to do lots of things, partly because I am a bit of a ‘doing’ addict and I like to keep busy and partly because, like everyone else, I still get caught up in what needs to be done. I also have an extraordinary sense of urgency meaning that things generally need to be done NOW. I get in my own way and my desire to go to the new Yoga classes, or to make time for a daily workout, or to simply go to the meditation room to relax or read, often goes by the way. I have not learned to say YES to the ‘being’ side of me nor have I learned to say NO to the ‘doing’ me. What a complicated paradox this poses!

I know I am not alone in this situation, that those of you who are reading this are probably nodding your heads as you share my conundrum. After considerable reflection, I have decided that this is what we need to learn. Not only do we need to be clear on our boundaries with others we need to also set some boundaries with ourselves. You can’t have work-life balance, which seems to be the catch phrase recently, without reigning ourselves in. Only then can we understand what we want to say YES to and then creating space for those important YES’s to actually happen.

For me this means stepping away from the office by 5:30 p.m. at the latest so I can head to my workout area or putting those Yoga classes right in my schedule so that the time is reserved. It means saying YES to the trips I want to make or dedicating time to the other items on my ‘bucket list’, knowing that without the YES it surely won’t happen. It means that when I simply want to sit down, catch my breath and read for a few minutes, I simply allow myself to do so.

Here was my other wake-up call and roadSIGN – a good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ALS. This is a progressive illness commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which slowly and insidiously steals your life from you. I am thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. I received an e-mail from her the other day as she and her husband have decided to travel for the next three months before the time comes when she will not be able to do so. I asked myself, “what am I waiting for?”

What are you waiting for? What is it you really want? Are you ready to say YES to yourself and give yourself permission to do and be the things you most want in your life? If not now, when? Only YOU can make it happen. It is your life and whether you believe it or not, you are the boss of you.

Okay, I hear you, I am also guilty. Here is my pledge: I intend to start today by honoring my need for ME FIRST time. I am putting at least 2 yoga classes in my schedule for next week. I am reviewing my ‘bucket list’ this weekend and determining which of the items are my first priority. I am putting my trip to Baffin Island into the calendar. And I am dedicating at least fifteen minutes everyday to read. It may not be everything I want to say YES to and it is the first chewable chunk.

What are you saying YES to? Times a wastin’ as we say – no more hesitating.

Until Next time…

Betty