The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.
With the approach of 12-21-12 I am feeling a heightened sense of awareness. My nighst have been orchestrated by a dreamscape that has had me travelling around the world. It has been chaotic and occasionally energy depleting.
I cannot seem to make sense of it all either although one dream stuck. I am driving down a very narrow road, a steep rock face off to the right. There are road crews all around, apparently working at widening the road. I can see areas where the rock face is pulling apart, about to give way. As I look closer to examine the surface, the rock face turns into a series of tombstones.
When I awake the dream seems more of a vision and I am left wondering what it meant, what’s the metaphor. I shared the dream with Jim and then my coach Patty, exploring the imagery. Here is what emerged: the tombstones represent all the Old Stories I have travelled with in this lifetime and previous lifetimes.
In my work I have come to understand that Old Stories are frequently riddled with limiting beliefs, the voices of my inner critics, assumptions and judgments, and so much more – a complex web of stuff that simply no longer serves me. And so as I approach the New Age, a time when I pray we find peace on earth, I am tasked with making peace within. And who among us is not travelling the same path?
This is not news to me. The vision simply emphasizes that now, more than ever, a sift within me is important. I want to enter the portal of 12-21-12 with a clean slate, dismantling the clutter of many lifetimes, releasing the stories that no longer serve me and giving myself space to receive all that is in my highest good.
Here is my plan:
1) Although I have done this many times, I plan to record the contents of my Old Stories and burn them. Ashes to Ashes….
2) A deep meditation, filling the open space with breath, possibilities, peace, joy and prosperity
3) A card spread, probably using OSHO Cards, guided by an intentional question to be defined
4) Integration – a wee bit of journaling
5) Celebration – a little dancing, chanting, singing, yelping… you get the picture
Here is one big intention for me in the New Year, to lighten up, and live from my heart more. This is my journey and my work at the moment.
My wish for you: Wonder about your Old Stories and begin to create your New Story. Remember that you do create your life – it begins with being clear about what you want. De-clutter – take a look at anything that gets in your way and find a way to send it off with the wind. Be your own best friend and guide.
Until next time…
Betty
The holiday season is one of those happy sad occasions, sad because those who have gone before us are no longer here to celebrate with us. It has been close to forty years since my mother passed away and yet I find myself missing her as Christmas approaches. I also like to remember the gifts that she left me and so in this week’s column I would like to share a story I wrote several years ago called the Gift Certificate.
The Gift Certificate
It came wrapped in a beautiful ribbon, jewel tones of ruby and amber and emerald threads woven into the fabric. The box was beautifully adorned with a tissue paper so delicate that I hesitated to touch it for fear of tearing the translucent skin. A hint of lavender tugged at my nose as I gently examined this beautiful package left for me deep inside my mother’s cedar chest. Someone had taken care and pleasure in wrapping this gift for me.
I pulled at the ribbon, releasing the box from its grip; the ribbons fell gently to the side, cascading around the corners of the box. Eagerly I scratched at the paper and then, remembering its beauty, slowed myself down. I unfolded the paper carefully so as not to tear it, preserving every special touch that had been taken as it was wrapped.
As I gently peeled back the paper, the treasure held within was revealed. I reached inside and pulled from the wrapping a deep blue velvet box, you know, the type that jeweler’s use for something very fine and precious. I held it with reverence, feeling the texture on the palm of my hand, hesitating for a moment, anticipation rising in my chest. What could this be?
As I pulled back the lid, I closed my eyes, not wanting the moment to end, and then opening them, I gazed with disappointment at the contents held within. The box was empty except for a single piece of paper. Tears welled up in my eyes. I placed the box on the table in front of me and lifted the paper from its velvet nest, examining it more carefully. It was not ordinary paper but an ivory colour and textured. Across the top of the paper, embossed in beautiful gold lettering were the words Gift Certificate. This was followed by a message penned in my mother’s familiar hand.
My Darling Daughter;
I have wrapped this gift for you with great care for it is the legacy I leave behind and wish to offer you.
I give to you the Gift of Courage – an invitation to lead your life without fear; an invitation to pursue your dreams and live the life you choose free of the opinions and demands of others. It is an invitation to believe in yourself, never doubting that what you can conceive and believe, you can achieve. Lastly it is an invitation to grab the brass ring of life and never let it go.
Secondly I give you the Gift of Love – of love you will always have from me even though our journey together in this lifetime has come to an end; of love for yourself – perhaps the most important gift of all; of love for others which I encourage you to give often and freely; and of love for life and all that you touch during your time here on earth.
Daughter, I also give you the Gift of Grace – the joy of living full out, free of the burden of guilt, or blame or shame; an invitation to live your life forgiving yourself of all the sins you believe you have committed against others while also releasing the sins you believe others have committed against you. See and celebrate the abundance in your life and express gratitude for all of life’s magnificence.
And finally my darling daughter, I give you the Gift of YOU – of recognizing your own beauty, your great gifts, and, perhaps most importantly, your flame, the spirit that burns deep within you. Show this light to the world – this is the Gift of Authenticity.
Betty, will you do one thing for me? (And this is my last request of you). Live this gift as I ask and as you travel through life, give this gift freely to others; for you see my daughter, it is in the living and the giving that the true meaning of life resides.
Love
Mom
I placed the paper, now my most treasured possession, back in the velvet box, gently closed the lid, and hands resting on the top of the case, remembered my mother and the numerous other gifts she had given to me over a lifetime – patience, encouragement, a listening ear, the warmth of her arms around me, conversations over dinner, her laughter and sly sense of humor, and so much more.
These I knew were the important gifts, more important than all the material things, the toys and clothes she had also provided. And I also knew that these were the gifts that I wanted to be remembered for, to be my legacy.
This holiday season, remember the important gifts that have been given to you and consider the gifts you want to leave with others.
Until Next time…
Betty
It’s that time of year when expectations seem to mount. The Holiday Season is quickly approaching, family members are voicing their expectations of you, there’s a big sale at Sears you want to take advantage of and you just found out you have three Christmas parties booked the same evening. Match all these ‘extra’ demands with the demands of an already busy life and you may feel like you are out of breath.
So what do you do, how can you keep your sanity with all the additional demands this season seems to impose. It is meant to be a time of celebration and joy and yet as you look around you, you’re not sure there is a whole lot of that going around! Time to shift gears.
A Resilience Check-In
Here’s an opportunity to take your pulse and assess just how you are doing. You can do so by measuring your resilience, your ability to bounce back in response to added responsibility or adversity and not become overwhelmed. Take a look at the following statements and give yourself a score from 1, I strongly disagree to 5, I strongly agree.
| I remind myself every day of the things I have accomplished. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I am able to take things in stride and remain calm in most circumstances. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I have the ability to handle a number of different things at the same time. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I have a strong sense of what my priorities are and put these first. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I know when to say ‘NO’ and stick to my guns, even when others may not like my answer. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I am able to laugh at myself and circumstances when things don’t go as planned. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I have a strong sense of my core values and purpose, engaging these to guide me through each day. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| I am resourceful and can find my way out of most difficult situations. | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
Add up your score – you will have a range for 8 to 40. While this is not a scientifically valid questionnaire, you can use your score to understand the degree to which you are handling the demands of your life. A score close to 8 suggests you are approaching overwhelm, perhaps feeling frantic, fatigued or even postponing the things that need to be done. A score close to 40 suggests you are dealing with the day to day easily and effortlessly and coasting into the holiday season. Most of us will most likely score mid-range.
This is not a diagnostic, just a notice, and as you notice where you fall, let me offer you some strategies for managing the approaching holiday season in a way that will assure you that Joy and Celebration care the main theme.
Holiday ‘Sanity’ Tips:
The holiday season can be challenging or easy – the choice is really yours. Make this your best holiday season ever by making perfect choices for you. Pass this gift along to others.
Until next time,
Betty
I am very much a believer that we have some friends for a reason, others for a season, and some for a lifetime. This notion of friendship had been on occasion challenging for me. As a very loyal person, the idea of having friends only for a reason or a season has been a hurdle for me to climb. That said, as I grow older, I recognize the value in all friendships and the many lessons I have learned from those I have attracted to me during this journey.
This past week my dear friend Betty Jones left us. I have known Betty only a few years meeting her for the first time in 2007 when we travelled to Townsend, Tennessee to facilitate to tw-day retreat. She was known to me beforehand, fondly referred to as Colonel Betty. Her sub-title was a bit intimidating and I wondered who I was about to meet.
Sight unseen, Betty invited us into her home. The person who greeted us was not military. Rather we were greeted by large warm, brown eyes, an open, curious face, and southern hospitality that would make even the friendliest Canadian pale. Yes she was retired military, a nurse with an MBA, formerly the head of the nursing corp under the surgeon general of the United States. Impressive, yet this was just a mention for her current focus was working on Obama’s plan to extend health care benefits to all Americans. She was in her own way, a social activist, go-getter, health advocate and all around energetic vortex.
Her own health had had a few challenges including a heart attack and stroke, although neither had the capacity to slow her down. On our last visit to Townsend we were out with her on the trails of the Great Smokey mountains. An experienced hiker knowledgeable about the lesser known trails, we wandered the woods taking in a feast of spring flowers. Although seemingly lost at one point she simply reassured us that she knew exactly where we were and to just follow her. We did. She was a leader in so many ways!
Highly spiritual, a seeker, always curious – this is how I came to know her. Her home looking out over the Great Smokeys below, became our southern respite.
Betty’s daily intention was to live large, love lots and die fast. After a monthly luncheon with her best friends, Betty felt fatigued and unwell. She left a few hours later.
I am better for knowing you Betty and I celebrate your life. And while I am sad you left us too soon, and that I had hoped our friendship would continue for years, I am grateful our paths crossed.
For all of you who have lost friends or family in the last period of time, I encourage you to acknowledge your sadness while celebrating the gifts the other person gave you. Celebrate their life. This is not the end, in fact it is a new beginning, a continuation of life in another form. As humans, we become so attached to the human form. We need to remember that the spirit is so much more and lingers with us always.
Until next time…
Betty
None of us wants to admit that we have failed at something and yet, in my view, failure is not an option. It will happen at some point in your life. So perhaps the issue is not whether you fail or not but how you deal with failure when it happens.
Let me propose an alternate thesis to what you can do when you fail versus what you most likely have been doing. Most of you will travel the path of self-recrimination coupled with ample doses of self-criticism. The option – treat failure as a time of celebration.
Before you throw something at me, let me explain the process. Take a moment and turn back the clock of time. Remember the many great lessons you have learned from life. As you do a quick life review, recall the two or three greatest lessons you have learned from your life experience to date. Ask yourself this: ” Did I learn this from a great success or from a significant failure?”
My guess is, that if you are really honest with yourself, failure will be the word that comes up. Here are some of my examples:
– That time in university where partying and play overtook my desire to study and I almost failed my year. I had never faced the possibility of failure before –it shook me to the core when that ’D’ appeared on my transcript. Suddenly I had a new-found respect for the need to study and my desire to complete my degree.
– Or that time not so long ago when I accepted a full-time job even when my intuition was telling me not to go there. My intuition was right – the job was not a perfect fit. Giving it up after 9 months felt like failure (I don’t give up!) and I learned some very valuable lessons. I remembered why I had started my own business and that I did not want to work for anyone else any more. I gained some extraordinary business wisdom which I have since applied to my own organization.
– Or that time where Jim and I drifted too far apart in our relationship and almost lost our way. This may have been my strongest sense of failure ever. I really believe is us and our marriage. Facing this failure down taught me everything I needed to know about re-building our relationship to where we are today.
There have also been numerous business failures – poor investments of money and time, bad decisions regarding training approaches – the list go on.
Failure makes us human. More importantly, other than offering us life’s most important lessons, it also offers contrast.
In ME FIRST vocabulary contrast is what you need to have so you can decide what you really want. Failure represents what it is you don’t want to repeat or to attract on a regular basis. With the experience of failure you can turn things around and define what it is you want to fill your life with. I enjoy looking at my own life through the lens of, “Well that was less than perfect’ and then imagining what it is I would rather have.
Failure is just like that – it shows you what you don’t want. Here’s the good news – you get to choose again!.
That said are you ready now to bless your failures? Okay, maybe that is going too far so let me suggest a slight modification. Here is it: Everything you have experienced in life is perfect.
Still a stretch?
I’ll explain – you are the sum total of all of your life experiences. You are the person you are today because of what you have experienced which includes both successes and failures. If you agree that life’s’ great lessons stem from your failures, then they are perfect events in your life. They taught you what you needed to know. There no longer is any need to feel guilt or remorse over something that happened in the past. Simply chalk it up to experience and be grateful it happened.
Here’s the deal. If you want to learn and grow and expand and reach for more, failure is NOT an option. If you can learn to bless the failures, see them as lessons and laugh at yourself a little more, you are going to be far healthier and happier. The thing is, you get to choose how you respond. Choose well for YOU!
Until next time,
Betty
Just as the wind from Sandy blew into our region last evening, catapulting me forward as I drove down the 401, new opportunities have been blowing into my life and business. It is a great time in life, especially when you are open to what is possible rather than planning all the details. Of course I set the scene when Jim and I sat down mid-September and created our Strategic Attraction Plan (SAP) for the upcoming year.
Strategic Attraction
For years clients and colleagues have asked me about running a business and what makes a business successful. I simply say, Strategic Attraction Planning. I know you have all heard of a Strategic Plan, something that is considered an essential ingredient for any successful business. A secret, I’ve never had one ! What I have instead is my SAP. So what’s the difference? Strategic Attraction as the name suggests, is about engaging the Law of Attraction strategically in your business. It has four sections to it:
That’s different than a regular Strategic Plan!
Intentions and Goals
Intentions and goals are frequently confused. A simple explanation is that an intention is open-ended. It states what you want yet is not fixed on a specific outcome. Example: I am attracting my perfect healthy body. Notice that you have not specified how this will happen or what you specifically mean by that. You are leaving the solution open-ended and as a result, give yourself permission to attract something you may not have considered otherwise.
Goals on the other hand specify an outcome. For example: I plan to lose 10 pounds, begin the new diet and go to the gym 3 nights a week. You have already decided on the solutions and fix your attention to the scales, what you eat and working out. Boring !
In business I have found that intentionality is far more powerful than goals. That’s not to say I don’t have any goals as most of the projects I work on have deadlines and deliverables. At the same time my intentions have opened up possibilities for me I never would have considered. You have to love that.
Who You BE
We all have a slightly skewed view of who we are. I have long been a believer of taking every opportunity to learn more about ME and to understand my strengths and what makes m unique. Knowing these things about yourself helps you to engage those strengths and focus on what you do well. Too often you do the opposite – you focus on improving your weaknesses. Trust me this does not work. Whatever you focus on grows! Don’t you want to grow your strengths?
So where do you start; what can you do. One of the tools I love, and which recently blew into our lives is a learning system called Lumina. It offers you the opportunity to complete a self-assessment questionnaire which then generates a Spark Portrait which is all about you. You learn about the four colour energies and how you play in them, the eight aspects and twenty-four qualities of personality and, most importantly, your strengths. Of course the added benefit is that, the more you learn about you, the more you learn about others.
Invite in the WIND
For me the WIND signifies Welcoming In New Discovery. Investing in yourself, is an investment in your life, your work and if you are like me, your business. With the wind comes new air to breathe, new knowledge of self and of course new life opportunities.
I invite you to stand outside, open your arms, feel yourself fly in the WIND, and imagine where your journey is headed. Who knows where you might land next?
Upcoming opportunities
Celebrate Your Strengths – Lumina Spark on November 13th, Cornwall, Ontario and Strategic Attraction Planning on December 1st, 2012, Tigh Shee Retreat Center. To find out more contact Betty at betty@roadSIGNS.ca or go to http://www.roadsigns.ca/programs/upcoming-events.html.
If you are interested in completing your Lumina Spark Portrait contact betty@roadSIGNS.ca.
Until Next time;
Betty
As a subscriber to ‘O’ Magazine, I generally turn to the last page of the magazine first to read Oprah’s ‘What I Know for Sure’ column. An interesting column, it usually leaves me wondering what I know for sure – in fact this came up in the recent ME FIRST retreat and I challenged everyone to take the time to write down their list. Of course this requires that I do the assignment as well. Last week, while sitting at my favourite table at The Grind Cafe in Cornwall, I put pen to paper and this is the result:
What I know for sure:
That’s my list for now and I invite YOU to record yours and share your ‘what I know for sure’ here in this forum.
Until next time…
Betty
Just coming off a ME FIRST Retreat and feeling the great sense of satisfaction that I derive from facilitating these events. On this occasion Jim and I also had friends, Carol and Wayne present as they prepare to eventually facilitate their own ME FIRST events. This is an intention come true for us – only weeks ago we completed our Strategic Attraction Plan for the upcoming year. Part of our intentionality is attracting perfect partners for collaboration and perfect ME FIRST facilitators. The plan is working.
Despite my experience with setting intentions, I am always surprised when what I ask for shows up. I love it and Jim and I have this little ditty we chant when the SIGNS appear that simply goes ‘it’s working!’
We have learned that to set intentions is one thing and paying attention and seeing the SIGNS another. Certainly paying attention is equally important as what would the point be in setting intentions if you don’t actually follow them. Of course there is the third phase of ‘No Tension’ – gotta love this step. It happens when what you have asked for shows up in a form that surprises you and you look at it and mutter, “I don’t think so!” Guess what – that’s the wrong response.
This is where I have forced myself to be curious and darn if the Universe doesn’t know better than I do what is in my highest good. I just don’t always like it and yet, in the end it is always perfect. I think that perhaps there is a great cosmic joke in there somewhere.
In this weekend’s retreat I believe we did some of our best work in teaching ME FIRST, especially that part that says that everything you want to change or shift outside yourself begins with ME FIRST. This part of the retreat program allows each participant to see the effects that their inner dialogue has, the choice of living with one’s inner critic versus one’s inner coach.
Consider this – you do not have to say anything or do anything, all you need to do is be the vibration you wish to be. Remember Gandhi’s quote, ‘Be the change you wish to see’. Note the emphasis on ‘BE’.
Imagine for yourself walking into any situation you have to face and simply being love, peace, joy at the core of your being. Through a variety of techniques we are able to demonstrate to ME FIRST Participants the impact this has on your environment and those around you. You can’t see it – you experience it. It is a vibrational energy that emits from the core of who you are and it is powerful.
Oh, I do go on – it just gives me chills to remember the effect this has when we teach this part of the program. And it is why I love my work.
Good old Dr. Suess – who knew that he taught ME FIRST principles. So much of what we are teaching is that you get to choose your life. So few people realize this it seems. Once you appreciate that your life is a sum of the choices you have made, and that you can change the course of your life with different choices, you settle into a position of personal power. Oh, and by the way, this is something I have to remind myself of everyday – the choice is mine.
Enough rambling for now. Looking forward to the next ME FIRST Retreat in Ottawa which will be co-facilitated by Wayne and Carol. I am handing over the reigns (and that may take discipline on my part!).
To all of you, you get to choose your thoughts, words and feelings – choose well!
Until next time…
Betty
Every two weeks Jim and I are leading a Coaching Circle. We began this program during the summer as a way of reaching more clients and offering them a coaching experience. It is different from a one-on-one coaching experience as circle participants also hear the stories others share and learn through the shared experience. It has been a miracle in my view, as we see the transformation of the group and each individual member – the shining faces, the energy shift, the realization that none of us are alone and that life is a shared experience.
In our discussions last evening, several members shared that they have recently lost friends, have friends recently diagnosed with serious life threatening illness or are living with illness themself. The notice was that often people don’t start really living until there is a threat of dying. Illness may not be the only trigger, it could be an accident, aging, or a significant life event.Whatever the root cause, it seems to be a common issue for we humans – we need to be awakened.
So I am wondering what it is about the human experience that encourages us to be complacent and to take so much for granted; why we need those wake-up calls to really start living. Certainly most of our circle participants have experienced a wake-up call in one form or another and still we slip back into that complacent place. What can we do to prevent this slip/slide – what is it we can do to stay awake – to live?
We have been introducing our clients to what we call Conscious Communication. Understanding that communication resides at all levels, that is communication with self, your higher power and then others, conscious communication means communication from an awakened state. It implies being alive and present, being intentional and clear, being tuned in to self and others; it means raising the bar significantly on how we have been living with ourself and others for most of our life.
Am I there yet? NO. And it is where I want to be. My fear is that with increasing separation, because of social media and the lack of face to face interactions these days, that we will grow not just complacent but unskilled in the basics of communication never mind conscious communication. So I write this as an invitation to each of you to reach out today to the important others in your life and step away from the computer and into the coffee shop. Create more opportunities for those face to face conversations – they are richer.
Become consciously aware of the conversation you are having with yourself – is your critic’s voice singing loudly in your ear or is your inner coach feeding you these days.
As you sit with another, are you in love or judgment? Turn on the love channel and be clear on how you want to be with others – set intentions for your relationship rather than leaving it up to the great ‘whatever’.
If you are in an intimate relationship, set time aside to really talk. Be compassionate and caring of the other – they are only human. It is easy to take life partners for granted – I know I both live and work with mine 24-7. It is important to ask the great questions and to listen deeply to the answers; to seek to understand the other person before judging or assuming.
All of this in my view is LIVING although there is much more to this conversation.
Again last evening we took time with the group to have them define and claim their core values. From that conscious place, the take away from this activity is to now start being those values and holding yourself to these consciously.
I know there is much more to share and I am curious about your responses and thoughts. Let me know. I leave you with this simple question – Are you living?
Until next time
Betty
