It is rare these days to find something truly inspiring on television which is why the ABC interview with Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, astronaut and shuttle commander Mark Kelly, totally captivated me when it aired November 13th. For those of you who don’t know her, Giffords is the congresswoman who was shot in the head outside a shopping center in Tucson, Arizona one year ago. The injury should have killed her but it did not. The injury should have rendered her helpless, perhaps even brain-dead, but it did not. Her indomitable spirit and her remarkable relationship with her husband have steadily led her through a course of recovery which is truly miraculous.
Neuroplasticity
Giffords journey is an example of what neurologists and rehabilitation professionals refer to as ‘neuroplasticity’ – the remarkable ability of your brain to recover from an injury and find other ways to perform the tasks it did prior to the injury. In other words, the brain re-programs its self and forms new pathways. You might be questioning the relevance this has for you. No one wants to experience the need to re-program by attracting the type of devastating injury Gabrielle Giffords sustained and yet all of us have aspects of our thinking which can benefit from re-programming. The example I most often refer to in the ‘ME FIRST’ work has to do with self-talk, re-programming the caustic voice of your self-critic into a voice which is uplifting, that of your self-coach.
From Critic to Coach
Where do you start? Begin by listening in on the tape that is running in your head. I refer to this as your elevator music – you are often only vaguely aware that it is playing until one day you become annoyed with it. Don’t wait to become annoyed; begin to notice what you are saying to yourself while you are alone, while you are driving home for work, what you are saying to your friends about your day and what you accomplished. Notice what you focus on. Do you only remember the things that didn’t get done on your ‘to do’ list, the hiccups in your day, or perhaps where you believe you ‘screwed up’. Can you even recall the highlights of your day, where you made a difference, the many things you accomplished? The critic brings you to the negative side of the equation.
Here is where your re-programing begins. Tell him or her that she is not exactly accurate, perhaps even outdated in their view of you. Be clear with your critic that you would rather hear more about the upside of who you are. Every time the critic steps in, smile and say, “unh-unh!’ and shift the conversation to your coach’s message. Your default system is the critic; you have to form a new neural pathway for the coach. Every time you re-program the brain learns and eventually the critic’s voice begins to fade and you hear your coach’s voice instead.
Make a Choice for YOU!
Gabrielle Giffords has had to fight her way back from the brink of extinction, learning to talk, think, feel, walk, and function again. She has been and continues to re-program her brain, teaching her brain new pathways everyday. Your job is the same, just easier.
First recognize that living with a loud and vocal self-critic does not serve you very well – it simply lowers your self-esteem and diminishes your personal power. You don’t want to play this way in the world, as the world needs you to play differently and to be powerful beyond measure.
Second, give yourself a great gift and begin re-programming your critic into a voice that builds you up, a voice that believes in you and respects you for who you are. You deserve it and you are the only person who can truly give yourself this gift. Re-programming begins with ‘ME FIRST’, then you attract respect from others. I encourage you to check out Gabrielle Giffords story and to be inspired by her. Then make a choice for YOU and begin your own re-programing process.
Make the shift from critic to coach. Start today as time is ‘a wastin’!
Until next time…
Betty