I have a fear of falling. Am I only now just realizing this? I have known for a long time, yet whenever the reality pokes up its head, I manage to push it away. I have taken the time to examine my fears – again and again and again – inside and out, top and bottom, Freudian and Jungian. I have always been able to name a fear, usually settling for the success/failure one. It seems to be the motherlode. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t dwell here, I am only an occasional visitor.
This morning however, I decided to use the quiet of a Stowe morning to gift myself with some additional wisdom and did an ‘Osho Zen Card Spread’ for myself. Lots of things came up for examination including the Trust card with a picture of a figure in free fall. There it was, wham, lurking under the layers of all the historical stuff, the big fear, FALLING. I wondered why I hadn’t seen it before. A year ago as I hung to the top of a telephone pole I had climbed trying to complete the ascent for one of my Beyond Courage activities, I had an entire conversation with my mother (she had long been deceased), about falling. I won the battle after lengthy clinging. It led me to wonder how many times I have failed because I was afraid of falling.
Falling takes on many forms – both real and metaphorical. As an adult, as well as I child, I have fallen easily – up stairs, down stairs, on ice in winter, pulling out stubborn weeds in summer. I have learned to laugh too, a lot, for I am ridiculous! No doubt my fear of falling has contributed to the frequency over the years. NO MORE! I want to attract something else.
And then there is life, the metaphorical falls – where does this manifest I am wondering? I have to work at patience and trust all the time, trusting my intentions and that my life is unfolding perfectly. But I resist and I recognize this in itself is a from of this old fear. What if I lost control? OMG – will I fall on my face? And even if I did, would it matter? SIGH!
Okay let’s reframe this – the antedote to falling is flying. WeHoo! Evidently I have known this for a while. The logo for our company is a flying heart. DAH! I have a finely tuned Bucket List which includes skydiving as one of the most important next things to do – scheduled for my 60th birthday.
Yes, and, why am I waiting? What if skydiving is the thing I need to do everyday, to allow myself to simply fly into life, trusting my Personal Guidance System and my intuition, allowing my dreams to manifest. Free of Fear, full of Life – what would that be like? I am tired of the old fears and so here is my declaration to you, publicly on my BLOG, today I begin trusting my life and my higher power fully, today I accept the offers that show up along the path knowing they are guided by my intentions and my clarity of purpose. I embrace my love of flying and of free fall. Feel free to remind me should I lose my focus!
Who wants to fly with me?
Until next time…
Betty